Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Kick the Hurry Habit

Harry let out a swear word as he yelled at the car ahead of him.  “Get a move on, you creep; I haven’t got all day!!”  He blew one long, loud blast on the horn as he moved within an inch of the offending car’s rear bumper.  The other driver stuck his hand out the window and gave Harry an obscene hand signal. 

“Good grief, Harry, calm down,” his wife Melda admonished.  “You’ll give yourself a heart attack!”  Harry gave Melda a withering glance, gripped the steering wheel, and retorted, “I don’t want to be late for church!”

Here in Northern Virginia, life seems so fast-paced.  Traffic can be a “bear,” and patience wears thin.  Drivers honk their horns, or weave in and out of traffic just to gain a couple car lengths.  (Then you laugh when you see them stuck at the next traffic light with you.)   The TV show, Mythbusters, did an interesting experiment with a fifteen minute timed driving exercise.  One driver was to weave in and out of traffic, while the other driver was to stay with traffic, and forbidden to change lanes at all, and arrive at a set location.  To my surprise, the “weaver” only arrived a minute sooner than the one who just stayed with traffic.  So I ask: is it really worth it to let traffic give you a migraine, upset stomach, and angry emotions? 

   

When we hurry, our muscle tension increases, blood pressure rises and hormones are released that, if the stress is prolonged, hinder the body’s healing and recovery processes.  When we hurry, we work faster, lift heavier, and are accident-prone.  My mom used to say, “Haste makes waste!”  And it’s so true; in our frustration to open flour and cereal bags, for example, they often rip open, and the contents spill everywhere.  In our hurry, milk or water gets knocked over, and the stress to deal with the mess is worse than ever.  Maybe we won’t need to “cry over spilled milk” if we slow down and take our time.

On the TV show Chopped, chefs must prepare a dish in thirty minutes and face a panel of three judges, hoping to avoid being “chopped” from moving on to the next round.  All four contestants begin with the appetizer round; one is eliminated because of faults found with his dish.  Round two is the main course, and again one of the remaining three is removed from the competition.  The final two chefs compete to win the dessert round.  The stress is unbelievable as chefs perspire, run to and from the pantry, slam pots, skillets, griddles, use deep fryers, blenders, sharp knives, and sometimes an ice cream machine.  Food is everywhere.  More than once, I’ve seen a chef cut a finger so badly that they lost valuable time getting the finger bandaged, and in the end, were “chopped” because they got blood on the serving plate.  The stress is palpable.  I ask myself: “Why would anyone want to subject themselves to such punishment?” The reasons chefs give for doing it is to “not let my family down,” or “to show my parents that I’m good at something,” or “because I love competition and want to win.” 

And we eat too fast.  Why?  Sometimes it’s because we oversleep, and need to gulp something for breakfast before we dash off to school, work, church, or an appointment.  Sometimes it’s just a habit.  My husband said he learned to eat fast on the job site.  As a commercial construction superintendent, he had to coordinate many subcontractors work, and often had to “eat on the run.”

Hurry spills over into listening, too.  We can easily get bored with people who speak slowly, or take their time to tell a story.  Are we so proud as to think that what someone has to say is not worth our time?  Since I write for home and family, let’s relate this to the family.  Do husbands and wives pay attention when their spouse talks?  Do parents take time to listen patiently to their children who want to share something?  Or are we so rushed in our schedules that our kids (and spouses) get lost in the shuffle?  Children can so easily learn to feel devalued and unloved because parents don’t take time to slow down, listen to them, and play with them.  I think children who feel hurried can also develop resentment toward the parents, and learn to pass that behavior on to their own children someday.

A number of years ago, I knew a lady who never answered her phone.  Instead, an answering machine message was short and not so sweet: “We’re busy – leave a message!”  It was said in such a way that the word “busy” sounded like she was even annoyed to take time to make the recording.  When I was around her, she talked of all she had to do, all that was going on, and seemed to wear busyness like a badge of honor.  I’ve come to realize that the more prominently a person wears that badge, the more disrespect and downright rudeness is displayed.  Do we take time to really connect and care about people?

We hurry our quiet time with God – if we have one at all.  This is an area I’ve had to work on.  How easy it is to let the tyranny of the urgent supersede good intentions.  I have to train my mind to put things into perspective and make a quality decision to satisfy the desire of my spirit and not let my mind dictate what my body should do.  And when I do, I feel peaceful, de-stressed, and satisfied.  The rest of the day goes so much better.

Why do we have a hurry habit?  Sometimes we try to please people and say “yes” to everything that’s asked of us.  A life without healthy boundaries, and the inability to say “no,” leads to a life of incredible stress.  We don’t want to disappoint people, so we don’t take care of our emotional health.  And sometimes we expect too much of ourselves, like, “I have to write one blog post per week!”  Or “I have to get that next chapter of the book written!” Or, “I have to host that party!”

There is a difference between being busy in an emergency, and being habitually busy.  Our bodies were not designed to be in a continual state of “fight or flight”.  We can choose different thoughts.  And we can learn to go to bed on time, get up on time, and begin our day with God.  By choosing to be orderly, put things in their proper perspective, refusing to stress out over traffic lights, etc, and deliberately slowing down, you will notice a relaxed feeling of freedom in your body.  You’ll get back your sense of control and increase your overall energy level.  We need to kick the hurry habit for our own wellbeing and for the sake of everyone around us.  Will you join me in my quest?


Copyright © 2014 Elaine Beachy