Harry let out a swear word as he yelled at the car ahead of
him. “Get a move on, you creep; I
haven’t got all day!!” He blew one long,
loud blast on the horn as he moved within an inch of the offending car’s rear
bumper. The other driver stuck his hand
out the window and gave Harry an obscene hand signal.
“Good grief, Harry, calm down,” his wife Melda
admonished. “You’ll give yourself a
heart attack!” Harry gave Melda a
withering glance, gripped the steering wheel, and retorted, “I don’t want to be
late for church!”
Here in Northern Virginia ,
life seems so fast-paced. Traffic can be
a “bear,” and patience wears thin. Drivers honk their horns, or weave in and out
of traffic just to gain a couple car lengths.
(Then you laugh when you see them stuck at the next traffic light with
you.) The TV show, Mythbusters, did an
interesting experiment with a fifteen minute timed driving exercise. One driver was to weave in and out of
traffic, while the other driver was to stay with traffic, and forbidden to
change lanes at all, and arrive at a set location. To my surprise, the “weaver” only arrived a
minute sooner than the one who just stayed with traffic. So I ask: is it really worth it to let
traffic give you a migraine, upset stomach, and angry emotions?
When we hurry, our muscle tension increases, blood pressure
rises and hormones are released that, if the stress is prolonged, hinder the
body’s healing and recovery processes. When we hurry, we work faster, lift heavier,
and are accident-prone. My mom used to
say, “Haste makes waste!” And it’s so
true; in our frustration to open flour and cereal bags, for example, they often
rip open, and the contents spill everywhere.
In our hurry, milk or water gets knocked over, and the stress to deal
with the mess is worse than ever. Maybe
we won’t need to “cry over spilled milk” if we slow down and take our time.
On the TV show Chopped, chefs must prepare a dish in
thirty minutes and face a panel of three judges, hoping to avoid being
“chopped” from moving on to the next round.
All four contestants begin with the appetizer round; one is eliminated
because of faults found with his dish.
Round two is the main course, and again one of the remaining three is
removed from the competition. The final
two chefs compete to win the dessert round.
The stress is unbelievable as chefs perspire, run to and from the
pantry, slam pots, skillets, griddles, use deep fryers, blenders, sharp knives,
and sometimes an ice cream machine. Food
is everywhere. More than once, I’ve seen
a chef cut a finger so badly that they lost valuable time getting the finger
bandaged, and in the end, were “chopped” because they got blood on the serving
plate. The stress is palpable. I ask myself: “Why would anyone want to
subject themselves to such punishment?” The reasons chefs give for doing it is
to “not let my family down,” or “to show my parents that I’m good at something,”
or “because I love competition and want to win.”
And we eat too fast. Why?
Sometimes it’s because we oversleep, and need to gulp something for
breakfast before we dash off to school, work, church, or an appointment. Sometimes it’s just a habit. My husband said he learned to eat fast on the
job site. As a commercial construction
superintendent, he had to coordinate many subcontractors work, and often had to
“eat on the run.”
Hurry spills over into listening, too. We can easily get bored with people who speak
slowly, or take their time to tell a story.
Are we so proud as to think that what someone has to say is not worth
our time? Since I write for home and
family, let’s relate this to the family.
Do husbands and wives pay attention when their spouse talks? Do parents take time to listen patiently to
their children who want to share something?
Or are we so rushed in our schedules that our kids (and spouses) get
lost in the shuffle? Children can so
easily learn to feel devalued and unloved because parents don’t take time to
slow down, listen to them, and play with them.
I think children who feel hurried can also develop resentment toward the
parents, and learn to pass that behavior on to their own children someday.
A number of years ago, I knew a lady who never answered her
phone. Instead, an answering machine
message was short and not so sweet: “We’re busy – leave a message!” It was said in such a way that the word
“busy” sounded like she was even annoyed to take time to make the
recording. When I was around her, she
talked of all she had to do, all that was going on, and seemed to wear busyness
like a badge of honor. I’ve come to
realize that the more prominently a person wears that badge, the more
disrespect and downright rudeness is displayed.
Do we take time to really connect and care about people?
We hurry our quiet time with God – if we have one at
all. This is an area I’ve had to work on. How easy it is to let the tyranny of the
urgent supersede good intentions. I have
to train my mind to put things into perspective and make a quality decision to
satisfy the desire of my spirit and not let my mind dictate what my body should
do. And when I do, I feel peaceful,
de-stressed, and satisfied. The rest of
the day goes so much better.
Why do we have a hurry habit? Sometimes we try to please people and say
“yes” to everything that’s asked of us.
A life without healthy boundaries, and the inability to say “no,” leads
to a life of incredible stress. We don’t
want to disappoint people, so we don’t take care of our emotional health. And sometimes we expect too much of ourselves,
like, “I have to write one blog post per week!”
Or “I have to get that next chapter of the book written!” Or, “I have to
host that party!”
There is a difference between being busy in an emergency,
and being habitually busy. Our bodies
were not designed to be in a continual state of “fight or flight”. We can choose different thoughts. And we can learn to go to bed on time, get up
on time, and begin our day with God. By choosing
to be orderly, put things in their proper perspective, refusing to stress out
over traffic lights, etc, and deliberately slowing down, you will notice a
relaxed feeling of freedom in your body.
You’ll get back your sense of control and increase your overall energy
level. We need to kick the hurry habit
for our own wellbeing and for the sake of everyone around us. Will you join me in my quest?
Copyright © 2014
Elaine Beachy
