The Gift of Friendship

Because of the thoughtfulness of my first cousin, Lois, I came into the possession of some letters my mom had written to her brother, Alvin, when my parents lived in McMinnville, Oregon, where I was born in 1946. My husband and I had the privilege of seeing my mom on a too-short visit in Pennsylvania the other weekend, and I took the letters along to show to her.

I think Mom enjoyed seeing what she wrote, and we got on the subject of letter writing. I learned that when she was a fourteen-year-old girl in school, she and nine other girls formed a circle of friendship that has remained intact to this day, seventy-eight years later! I was astounded it’s been that many years. As I questioned Mom, she said they started writing a circle letter as young teenagers, and have faithfully kept the circle going all these years. Of the ten, there are only three still living.

In a circle letter, someone in the group writes a letter and sends it to the next person on her list in the group, then that person writes a letter, includes the first person’s letter, and sends it to person number 3, and so on. That must have been a fat envelope by the time it got around to all ten members! When it comes around to the person who started the circle, she takes out her original letter, writes a new one, and sends it on again.

The fact that these faithful friends kept the circle letter going, speaks of great commitment to that friendship. As years, weddings, states and miles separated them, they still kept writing. Mom’s voice filled with emotion as she told me how two of her friends’ husbands had died, and how those pen pals came together in a show of support at the funerals.

Lasting friendship is a gift from God. We all need friends to hear our heart, encourage us, pray for us, understand us, and believe in us. Friendships need to be nurtured, or they will wither and die.

I can think of some H A N G U P S that will kill a friendship:

 Hostility when discussing Scripture

·         Accusations

·         Needing to be right about everything

·         Gossip – betrayal of a confidence

·         Unforgiving attitude

·         Political arguments

·         Selfishness

God says a man who has friends must himself be friendly. (Proverbs 18:24) You can’t sulk in a corner and wonder why nobody wants to be your friend. You have to be friendly toward people. God is. He doesn’t tell us to be something He’s not.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 12 talks about friendship. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companions. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.”

I like Pooh Bear’s saying, “It’s more friendly with two!” (I say that to my husband sometimes when he helps me make our bed.) Dear Pooh Bear, that lovable character loved by so many, has much to teach us about friendship. Soft-spoken, patient, forbearing, forgiving, honey-loving, lovable-ball-of-fluff Pooh is so endearing, even when he eats too much and gets stuck in Rabbit’s hole. (Rabbit is not quite as charitable as Pooh). 

Pooh and his friends have been through all kinds of situations together. And who can forget Eyeore, that down-in-the-mouth, always-seeing-the-glass-half-empty donkey? Pooh was an encourager. Then there was Tigger. “Bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, full of fun, fun, fun! The wonderful thing about Tiggers is, I’m the only one!” He had a bit of trouble with reality, as I recall. Pooh never condemned him—only loved him. “Chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff” serves as a good role model for friendship.

“Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 12:25 (NIV) It’s refreshing to have someone stick up for you when you feel beaten down, and someone to help you up when you fall. Being with a good friend brings warmth to a soul chilled by the winds of adversity. However, you should never support or enable a friend’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or laziness. Sometimes being a good friend is hard when you have to tell them the truth in love. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV) says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

 

What are your thoughts about friendship? I invite you to comment below!

Copyright © 2016 Elaine Beachy

Sound Bites

It filled the news with sound bites. (And yes, sometimes I felt like biting back!) The childish bickering, finger-pointing and fault-finding by some of the political candidates who ran for the nomination for president of the United States was downright embarrassing and wearisome. Networks thrived on the negative debacle of name-calling because it drew viewers, and because of high viewer exposure, those networks could charge higher prices for companies who wanted to advertise on their stations. In all my sixty-nine years on this earth, I had not heard such demeaning political rhetoric like we’ve heard already this season. 

I understand the anger of we, the American people, who feel ripped off by our government, by insider politicians who talk a pretty talk, but don’t walk the walk. A sea of broken promises, spineless compromise, and back-room deal-making contrary to the will of the electorate, litter the political shore leaving in its dirty wake people whose religious freedoms are challenged, are forced out of business, have lost their jobs, who are threatened by the very government that was supposed to provide freedom, protection, and justice for its citizenry.

I get it. I feel the same way.

I agree we as Christian people need to be bolder to speak out for what is right and quit cowering to political correctness. But there’s a right and a wrong way to do that.

We can do it without speaking evil of those in office, or those running for office; we have an absolute right to discuss issues, but we don’t have a right to assassinate someone’s character or judge their motives. We can have civil discourse on issues and try to find solutions rather than attack people. And most of all, we are commanded to pray. I quote 1 Timothy 2:2-4 (NKJV). “Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

I remember both times when President Obama was elected, I found it very hard to pray for him. I was angry and disappointed, and my heart felt a deep grief for our country, and feared the destruction of the America I loved. Yet, I knew this scripture, and knew I was commanded to pray for him.

I didn’t want to do it, but because I loved Jesus, I did it. (Didn’t Jesus say, “If you love me, keep My commandments?”)

And when I heard there were threats against his life, I knew I was to pray for his safety and that of his family. I asked God to help me pray for him—from my heart. I had to come to the place where I saw President Obama as a man God loves as much as He loves me, who wanted him “to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” When I thought of his eternal destiny, it was much easier to pray for him.

And it kept my mouth from uttering angry, destructive words against him. I believe the phrase, “That we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence,” has a two-fold application. First of all, I believe it means that my life and the condition of my country will be better as I pray for Obama and those in authority over me. Secondly, I believe it means that when I pray, it changes my heart so I will have spiritual quiet, reverence, and godliness, regardless of what is going on in my natural world. On social media, I refuse to “like” derogatory things said about him. Discussing an issue and contending for the truth is always okay; personal attacks are not.

The Holy Spirit often talks to me when I coif my hair and apply makeup in the morning. Recently He showed me how what we’re seeing in this volatile political season is a reflection of the condition of too much of the body of Christ. One denomination points the finger at another denomination; there’s sneering and ridicule and demeaning talk against brothers and sisters in the Lord who worship and believe differently. My friends, these things should not be. How can we ever be salt and light to a needy, watching world, and do kingdom business in the name of the Lord, when we are dominated with an “us vs. them” attitude and speak evil of fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord? The devil loves bitterness and mayhem, and laughs with glee at how people are clueless that they’re actually pawns in his malicious hands to do his dirty work! When the body of Christ is busy finding fault, it is no threat to the devil’s kingdom. And that’s the way the devil wants it.

James, the half- brother of Jesus, wrote in chapter three of his epistle to the church, “. . . Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. . . With it we bless our God and Father and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus, no spring yields both salt water and fresh.

My friends, Jesus taught us to pray, “. . .Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven.”

In this election year, will you join me in “praying for all men and those in authority?” It doesn’t mean we agree with them. It means we pray for God’s truth and wisdom to be given to them, for God to turn their hearts to what is right and good. After all, that’s what we all need, isn’t it?

Copyright © 2016 Elaine Beachy