The Gift of Friendship

Because of the thoughtfulness of my first cousin, Lois, I came into the possession of some letters my mom had written to her brother, Alvin, when my parents lived in McMinnville, Oregon, where I was born in 1946. My husband and I had the privilege of seeing my mom on a too-short visit in Pennsylvania the other weekend, and I took the letters along to show to her.

I think Mom enjoyed seeing what she wrote, and we got on the subject of letter writing. I learned that when she was a fourteen-year-old girl in school, she and nine other girls formed a circle of friendship that has remained intact to this day, seventy-eight years later! I was astounded it’s been that many years. As I questioned Mom, she said they started writing a circle letter as young teenagers, and have faithfully kept the circle going all these years. Of the ten, there are only three still living.

In a circle letter, someone in the group writes a letter and sends it to the next person on her list in the group, then that person writes a letter, includes the first person’s letter, and sends it to person number 3, and so on. That must have been a fat envelope by the time it got around to all ten members! When it comes around to the person who started the circle, she takes out her original letter, writes a new one, and sends it on again.

The fact that these faithful friends kept the circle letter going, speaks of great commitment to that friendship. As years, weddings, states and miles separated them, they still kept writing. Mom’s voice filled with emotion as she told me how two of her friends’ husbands had died, and how those pen pals came together in a show of support at the funerals.

Lasting friendship is a gift from God. We all need friends to hear our heart, encourage us, pray for us, understand us, and believe in us. Friendships need to be nurtured, or they will wither and die.

I can think of some H A N G U P S that will kill a friendship:

 Hostility when discussing Scripture

·         Accusations

·         Needing to be right about everything

·         Gossip – betrayal of a confidence

·         Unforgiving attitude

·         Political arguments

·         Selfishness

God says a man who has friends must himself be friendly. (Proverbs 18:24) You can’t sulk in a corner and wonder why nobody wants to be your friend. You have to be friendly toward people. God is. He doesn’t tell us to be something He’s not.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 12 talks about friendship. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companions. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.”

I like Pooh Bear’s saying, “It’s more friendly with two!” (I say that to my husband sometimes when he helps me make our bed.) Dear Pooh Bear, that lovable character loved by so many, has much to teach us about friendship. Soft-spoken, patient, forbearing, forgiving, honey-loving, lovable-ball-of-fluff Pooh is so endearing, even when he eats too much and gets stuck in Rabbit’s hole. (Rabbit is not quite as charitable as Pooh). 

Pooh and his friends have been through all kinds of situations together. And who can forget Eyeore, that down-in-the-mouth, always-seeing-the-glass-half-empty donkey? Pooh was an encourager. Then there was Tigger. “Bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, full of fun, fun, fun! The wonderful thing about Tiggers is, I’m the only one!” He had a bit of trouble with reality, as I recall. Pooh never condemned him—only loved him. “Chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff” serves as a good role model for friendship.

“Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 12:25 (NIV) It’s refreshing to have someone stick up for you when you feel beaten down, and someone to help you up when you fall. Being with a good friend brings warmth to a soul chilled by the winds of adversity. However, you should never support or enable a friend’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or laziness. Sometimes being a good friend is hard when you have to tell them the truth in love. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV) says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

 

What are your thoughts about friendship? I invite you to comment below!

Copyright © 2016 Elaine Beachy