If Walls Could Talk, Part Three: Mom and Me

Yesterday I pulled my mom's book, "Autobiography of Edwin and Elva Yoder" off my bookshelf to check how old I was when my dad had his first heart surgery.  (I was about fifteen).  I got caught up in reading the book again, including the section where each of my brothers and I wrote our memories of growing up with Mom and Dad.  I'm so glad Mom had that book printed; it's full of a lot of good stories!  She sold a good many copies.  (By the way, if you'd like one, I'll put you in contact with her).

As I read those tributes of my parents again, I got to thinking what truly wonderful parents I was blessed with.  I have a lot of good memories of my time with Mom in the kitchen and garden.

If kitchen walls could talk, they could tell you of one time (I think I was about fourteen) I was to mix maple-flavored icing for a cake.  We always used powdered sugar, butter, some milk and maple flavoring.  I don't know what I was thinking,  but I started putting brown sugar in with the powdered sugar for the "maple" flavor, and when I realized what I had done, I was dismayed and started to cry.  Mom came to me, put her arm around my shoulder, and kindly said, "Well, maybe we've started a new recipe!"  Ah, a mother's love!

A particular poignant memory I have is of the Sunday morning as a young teenager when I found a new rose-colored dress with lace and pink glass buttons hanging in my closet when I opened the door to get dressed for church.  I remember the happy surprise, feelings of love and being cared about that flooded over me. 

So many memories.  I remember a man we called "Adams" who frequently came by the house in a big produce truck to sell us potatoes, peaches, pears, or other things.  I can still hear his raspy, higher-than usual tone call out, "Need any potatoes today?"  Mom bought from him.

If walls could talk, they would tell of the Raleigh who man came to the door to sell pudding mixes, Jello, flavorings, air freshner, salve, liniment, Lustre Creme shampoo in a short, white glass jar, and all sorts of interesting things.  There were the Watkins and McNess salesmen, too.  These guys always had a stick of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit gum for us kids.  I liked to have them come to the house and was glad when Mom bought from them too.

Those walls could echo the voices of the door-to-door Fuller Brush and Stanley products salesmen -- the sellers of brushes, brooms, mops and more.  Then there were always the encyclopedia salesmen who came around almost every year.

Times sure have changed.  Now instead of using an encyclopedia, we "Google" for information on the internet.  WalMart, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond and many other stores have put the Fuller Brush and Stanley salesmen out of business.  And I saw recently that WalMart now carries a line of Watkins flavorings.

For the past twelve years or so, up until September 1, 2011, I set aside every Tuesday to spend with my dear  mother.  We'd go to the post office, bank, do some shopping, and then have lunch out somewhere.  We went to see a movie once, on rare occasion went to visit someone; a few times we worked on a puzzle at her house after I brought her home from our errands, and sometimes had a cup of tea.  We attended the same church.  Many a Friday evening, she, along with my brother George, his wife, and my auntie would come over for dessert and coffee on our back deck.  Sometimes she'd join me and my husband and others when we went out to eat every Friday evening.  Sometimes she'd come over with Auntie and they'd sit on our front porch and watch the people and traffic go by on a warm summer day.  Just like everything else, change came when she moved to Pennsylvania with my brother, his wife, and my auntie. 

Mom has always been there for me.  Supported me, loved me, prayed for me.  When I was so sick seven years ago, she'd walk up the hill of our back yard to our house and do my laundry and even cook for me sometimes.  And that's one thing I know will never change: my mother's love!  Mom, you're the best!

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

If Walls Could Talk, Part Two: M & M's

No, not the kind that "melts in your mouth, not in your hands".  I mean mumps and measles! : o)  And not just those two childhood diseases, either. 

If walls could talk, the light green painted tongue-in-groove board walls of our large farmhouse could tell you about us children coming down with chicken pox, mumps, measles, and whooping cough.  (Not all at one time, thank God!) 

I remember at one point, Mom had to convert the living room into a "hospital room" where she bedded down the sick.  She was vigilant in her care over us children, and she had her hands full.  Those were days when Dr. Rock still made house calls, and he came to our home.  We children didn't have the vaccinations that are now required, but we did have the polio vaccine before we started school. 

I remember my brother Stan (who is Biff in my book) and I were absent from school so much that the school nurse came to our house unnanounced one day to see if we were really sick.  As I recall, she found Stan and me sitting at the dining room table "whooping it up" and putting together a large puzzle of "The Last Supper".  I still remember how I enjoyed that -- not the whooping cough (yuck), but the puzzle. 

If walls could talk, they could tell you how our whole family gathered there with our grandparents, Claude and Olive several weeks earlier and said our goodbyes to Dad.  He was leaving for Shadyside Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to undergo heart surgery.  My youngest brother George was just two, and I was fifteen.  The walls could tell you of his pititul cries as he was separated from Mom and Dad for the first time.  Claude and Ollie took care of us.  I thought my heart would break, but I bottled up my feelings and cried my heart out when I was by myself.  I didn't know if I would ever see my father again.

Those walls could also tell you about the loving care Mom gave dad as he lay in a hospital bed in that living room and recovered from heart surgery, home safe and sound.  Those walls have been through a lot, but they still stand.

Someone else lives there now, but sometimes I long to go through that old house just one more time and hear those walls say, "Remember when?"

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

If Walls Could Talk, Part One: The Family Altar

If walls could talk, our large farmhouse where I grew up in Pennsylvania would have a lot to say.  I'm thinking in particular of the special place our living room became after the evening meal at close of day. Mom, Dad, and all five of us children listened as daddy read from the Bible, and then we'd kneel beside our chairs for family prayer.  What a precious memory that is to me.

What better place than that for children to be taught reverence and honor for God's Word?  To hear their parents pray -- to learn how to pray?

I think of the Scripture in Ephesians 6:4, "Father's, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."  And also Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  That's a promise to stand on.

If I could, I would love to encourage you to have a family Bible reading and payer time in your home.  Maybe you've never had one, and don't even know where to start.  I offer some suggestions for your consideration.

• Make it a happy, delightful time: short, sweet, not long or tiring.
• This is not a time for preaching, rebuking, or correcting.  It's a time for praying and loving on one another.
• Do not gossip or criticize others, including the pastor or those in authority over you.  This is worship time.
• Read the miracles of Jesus, or some Psalms or Proverbs.
• Read stories from the Old Testament, like David and Goliath, Jonah, the creation account, etc.
• Give time for children to ask questions; no question is too small or unimportant.
• Have a Scripture memorization time once in awhile. 
• Consider doing flannelgraph lessons; it will keep things varied and interesting.  Here's one link in case you're interested: http://www.thefeltsource.com/BibleSeparates.html 
• Get the children involved; some may want to read the Bible story, or do the flannelgraph lesson.
• Discuss together how what you read or learned can be applied in each one's life.
• Pray for lost people, sickness, personal needs, or crisis situations that need God's answers.
• Don't make everyone pray out loud, but encourage every attempt.
• Let your children hear you pray for them.  Thank God for them and bless them in prayer with words that you want to see come to pass in their lives. 

May your home have walls that could tell of a family altar time.  I bless you parents in Jesus' Name as you obey God's commandment to bring up your children in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

A Tribute

                Legacy of Love

Patiently, he waits as mother arranges us
Around the table; and when we're seated
He asks that we sing together.
Eyes closed, hands clasped together,
He begins to sing, "God is so good,
God is so good, God is so good,
He's so good to me.
Then he prays a blessing
On his children, grandchildren,
And on the food,
Praying in hushed tones
To the Savior He loves so much.

Slowly he reaches for another piece of celery
As we still sit around the table,
Busily chattering like noisy magpies.
Mother has finally seated herself
To enjoy her piece of pie
After serving all the rest of us.
His blue plaid flannel shirt
Faintly echoes the softness of his smile
As he reaches over to stroke Mothers's arm.
His heart, too, is warm and soft,
Like that flannel shirt.

At the door, his tender "good-bye"
And warm hug is coupled with
"God bless you, my daughter."
I feel as loved and accepted by him
As if I were his own daughter.
Little do I know it is the last time
I will look into his "Jesus eyes",
The tender-hearted eyes of a soul
We called Irvin.
I'm richer for having known him,
And I'm doubly blessed to have his son
As my husband.

              by Elaine Beachy
            November 29, 1994

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

Let's Hear It For Marriage!

Valentine's Day has come and gone.  We all remember that important day we married our sweetheart.  That special someone to always love us, with whom we would dream, make plans, have a family, and live happily ever after.  For us wives, our betrothed was a knight in shining armor as he came to carry us away from our old life and take us to a new one.  How exciting!

Great importance is given to the ceremony itself.  From the rehearsal dinner to hair styles, manicures, bridesmaid's and groomsmen's formal attire, expensive wedding dress, flowers, photographer, reception, guest lists, food, get-away vehicle and honeymoon plans, preparation for living married is often overlooked. 

And I don't mean "preparation" as in living together before you're married, either. It distresses me to hear of even professing Christians having sex or living together outside marriage.  "Shacking up", as I call it.  Since I'm on the subject of holy matrimony, let me say that in God's eyes, marriage is only between one man and one woman.  Period.  There is far too much flagrant disregard and disrespect for God's Word among Christians these days, showing they have lost the fear of the Lord.  Those who do so are on a slippery slope of hardening their conscience to the Holy Spirit and are in danger of walking away from the Lord.  Don't do that.  Stand up for God's truth: yes, there are absolutes!

By preparation I mean talking about things.  Both husband and wife can have expectations from eath other that have not been discussed beforehand.  A few months or a year into the marriage, unmet expectations that aren't discussed as they occur begin to pile up along with a pile of resentment.  A volcano builds, fueled by anger seething just below the surface, that can suddenly erupt.

Things to discuss beforehand, for example, are:

• Are you a born-again believer?  Don't assume; talk about your faith in Jesus Christ.
• Which church will you attend?
• How many children do you want?
• Will both work outside the home, even after having children?
• How will you spend holidays, and with which inlaws?
• Will you share household duties?  Which ones?
• Will you have joint banking accounts, or "his and hers"?
• Discuss income and budget, spending habits, vacations, etc.
• Discuss goals and dreams.
• Will the wife take the husband's last name?

Scripture asks the question in Amos 3:3, "How can two walk together unless they're agreed?"  If your marriage needs a tune-up or even a major overhaul, there is hope and restoration in the truth of God's Word.  Prayer with humility, kindness and forgiveness go a long way toward wholeness.  May you and your sweetheart travel the same road together now and always.  It matters to God.  And to me.

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

Disciple Maker

As I awoke early this morning, the first and last lines of this poem were in my mind.  I got out of bed and wrote them down, and just now penned in the rest.  The root of this poem comes from some comments I made in response to ongoing dialogue to someone in Japan who contacted me from one of my writer's groups on LinkedIn, asking permission to use my poem "Reunion" on her hubpages.

                Disciple Maker

Tender plant that sprang from seed,
Watched with special care
By him who sees the young one's need
And renders to him there

The love and nourishment to grow,
To flourish and to stand.
Through rains that come and winds that blow,
He lends a steady hand.

He may seem small and little-known,
This one who sees the need.
But by and by there will be shown
Good fruit for all to see.

            Elaine Beachy
            February 11, 2012

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

Fences

It is said good fences make good neighbors.  I'm glad there's a fence around our neighbor's property when their dogs romp outside.  :o)

Nations, countries, states, cities and towns all have boundaries that use signs or some kind of marking that lets you know where one stops and the other starts.  Houses have boundaries lines -- some visible, like fences, and others invisible but with boundary markers somewhere on the property corners put there by surveyors.

People have boundaries too, or at least they should have.  Have you ever felt like people take advantage of you, disrespect you, expect you to always give in to them?  Then this post is for you! :o)

When you know what your boundaries are, you know what you are and are not responsible for.  Good mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.  We need good emotional boundaries to be aware of when others may try to manipulate our emotions to get their own way, such as crying, shaming, blaming, etc.  I think most of us have good physical boundaries and others know who may touch us and under what circumstances.

A Christian for 54 years, I had focused a lot on being loving and unselfish, while not being aware that I had the right to say "no" to a request or a demand.  I think I felt guilty or afraid to say what I really thought because I wanted to be thought of as kind and considerate, to do the "Christian" thing.  Last year I began to ask myself, "What are my legitimate boundaries, and how can I set limits and still be a loving person?"  For a lot more on this subject, I recommend the book and small group study materials Boundaries: when to say "yes" and when to say "no" to take control of your life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. 

Relationships become unhealthy when I allow others to dominate me, shame me, talk abusively to me, and disrespect me.  God calls that "walking in darkness" when we treat others that way but say we love God. We don't walk in love or speak the truth in love.

Another thought: God has fences too.  He told us what they are so we can be in right relationship with Him.  We believers need to return to the "fear of the Lord", a holy reverence, honor and respect for the Word of God.  Without it, we each go our own way, our culture decays, we make up our own rules, have our own opinions without regard for the words of the Supreme Sovereign over all of Heaven and Earth -- the One who gave us His love, His Word, His Son Jesus to pay the price for our waywardness.  There are absolutes-- God's Truth-- no matter what the "politically-correct" crowd says.

Fences also have gates. You control who or what you let in and out.  Even Jesus said in Revelation 3:20 (NIV) that He respects our gates: "Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with Him and he with Me."  I also love the offer Jesus makes to us to enter His gate in Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Has someone smashed your fence?  Flattened you?  Left you wounded and bleeding by the side of the road?  With the help of the Holy Spirit and a Good Samaritan, it's time to get up, dust yourself off and put up some fences.  Let others know your boundaries by speaking the truth in love.  In the end, they will respect you and it will change their life too.

I bless you in Jesus' Name.

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

Culture Molds

We all want our children and grandchildren to be thought of as smart, excellent, outstanding, and "above average", don't we?  Did you know God's Word has something to say about being smart, excellent and outstanding?  In Daniel chapter 1 we read about Daniel and the three Hewbrew young men who resolved to honor the Lord and refused to let the Babylonian culture swallow them: to mold their opinion and behavior. 

In Psalm 111:10 (NIV) God tells us, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise."  I believe the word "fear" here does not mean to be terrified or scared of God; rather it means "to honor, reverence, respect, to exalt His words over your own opinion."  This tells me that unless we honor and have God's Word as our mold for life, we really don't have wisdom or understanding.

Our children will not get wisdom and understanding in public schools; parents and the church have to lead the young ones into the fear of the Lord.  That is a major reason why the Lord led me to write my books for young children.  Books that unashamedly has the parents teach the children what the Word of God says about problems in life.  There was a moment or two as I was writing "Biff and Becka's Springtime Adventures" where I debated being open and "up front" about mentioning sin, Jesus, the cross and resurrection because a voice inside my head argued that I'll "narrow my reading base" if I do that.  In other words, I wouldn't sell as many books.  But I had to come to the point of saying, "You know what?  I don't care about that.  I care about being obedient."

In our morally-compromised Americn culture, parents really have to be diligent in training their children to honor and value the Lord's Word over anything they hear taught in school, especially when evolution and moral relativism is espoused. The trouble is, many parents don't fear the Lord, either.  Our culture is made up of many different religions and opinions that blatantly disregard the Lord Jesus Christ; a spirit of anti-Christ is afoot in our world.  I am here to encourage parents to return to the fear of the Lord and instill the same in your children.  I pray my children's books will help you do that.

Behavior + Attitude = Culture.  By that I mean if we as Christian believers have a blase attitude about what God calls sin, not speaking out about it and allowing it to continue in our homes and churches, it becomes our culture.  It becomes accepted opinion across our nation.  Christian parents and pastors are guilty of contributing to this plague as well.  There are absolutes; Jesus is the Rock of Truth we must stand on, know what He thinks, and agree with Him.

Ever have your son or daugher accuse you of being "old-fashioned" and "not with it"?  I am deeply troubled that Christian young people have sex outside of marriage, live together before marriage, and do what everybody else is doing.  I am troubled that young Christian girls don't dress in a modest way that pleases the Lord.  Parents can get weary of "bucking their children", so to speak.  It's much easier to just go along with whatever the child wants especially if tempers flare and you're already tired and stressed from your own day and don't feel like dealing with issues of right and wrong.  I believe it's important to show the child from Scripture what God says, and encourage him/her to come into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and yield their lives to Him.  Love your children and pray much for them.  A child can tell if he's loved or not.

Satan indeed tries to "wear out the saints" (Daniel 7:25) and control culture his way.  We're in a battle, folks.  This is no time to lay down on the job.  I like the way J.B. Phillips' translation puts Romans 12:2:  "Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God re-mold your minds from within. . ."

Change in the home and church begins when parents/leaders read the Word of God on a consistent basis, and tell the Lord they will exalt His Word over their own opinion and experience.  A committment needs to be made like Daniel and his three friends who stood seemingly alone in that Babylonian culture.  In the end, we see that King Nebuchadnezzar who tried to "do them in" repented and issued a decree that Daniel's God is the true God, and urged citizens to worship Him instead of that stupid golden statue he had set up.  All because 4 people stood up in defiance to his edict and threats. 

Are you molding the culture for good, or is the secular culture squeezing you into its mold?  We owe it to our children and grandchildren to model the fear of the Lord in all we do.  Let's not be swayed by the opinions or threats of man.  The Word says in Proverbs 29:25 that the fear of man brings a snare (a trap).  If we are afraid of what people think or say of us rather than what the Lord thinks or says, we do not have the fear of the Lord.  Stand firm on God's Word and walk in love.

"Lord Jesus, I pray a blessing and encouragement for each person reading this post; I pray You will cause the fear of the Lord to rise in each one.  Help their families to be godly families, their children to be wise and full of understanding.  Amen."

I bless you in Jesus' Name to walk in the fear of the Lord.  Your obedience can help change a culture!

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy