"D" Is For Diligence

Diligence must be added to our alphabet soup to give it “consistency.” J  I think of Proverbs 4:23 and 26 in the KJV that say “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life… Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.”  And Proverbs 22:29 tells us “Do you see a man skilled (diligent) [KJV] in his work?  He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure man.”

I hear women deplore their unfinished projects, because they have trouble finishing what they start.  They admit to procrastination because they “just don’t feel like doing it right now.”  Distraction sets in when some new idea or project catches their fancy.  I think of women who told me they have many yards of fabric stashed on dusty shelves for that “someday” project, for those three quilts they want to make, or other numerous half-finished projects.  They despair of the mess, and just close the door on the sewing room. 

The Proverbs 31 woman is extolled for her numerous virtues.  Verse 13 tells us this godly woman “works with eager hands”; verse 17 says “she sets about her work vigorously”; and verse 27 reads, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”   

The Lord gave me a poem about the sluggard using Proverbs 6:10 and Proverbs 24:30-34.  A sluggard is defined as a habitually lazy, shiftless, and inactive person; an idle person, a dawdler, a dolittle, loafer, slouch… you get the picture. 

The Sluggard

Go to the ant now, O sluggard.

Consider her ways and be wise.

Turn off the telly, stretch out the belly!

Open the lids of your eyes.

How long will you lie there, you sluggard?

When will you rise from your sleep?

Just one more snooze and the folding of hands

Will put you in debt way too deep.

I went past the field of the sluggard;

Past the vineyard of him who was slack.

Thorns had grown through his garden,

The ground and the wall was a wreck.

I took to heart ways of the sluggard.

A lesson was learned, and I knew

A little more sleep and the folding of hands

Will keep me from things I should do.

Elaine Beachy

January 29, 2013

I’m sure there are times when all of us don’t feel like cleaning up the kitchen, or getting the load of laundry out of the dryer and folding it.  We don’t feel like packing one more lunch, dusting the furniture yet again, cleaning the bathrooms, etc.  I have found it’s all about attitude.  I have a Simply Said wall design that says, “A good attitude makes a great difference.”  And it helps me to have a thankful attitude.  I have to choose to begin thanking the Lord for all His blessings, and before I know it, I feel energized and happy! 

God bless you, dear reader, and may you be energized as you add diligence to your batch of “alphabet soup!"

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"C" Is For Communication

Communication includes verbal conversation, facial expression, body language, and non-verbal signals.  It can be Morse code, sign language, Braille, writing, pacing and volume of our voice.  We make a statement by our taste in clothes, personal appearance, or how we decorate our homes and take care of our personal property. 

Communication is such a vast subject, but for now, we’ll concern ourselves mainly with communication among family and friends.  I wonder how many teenagers clam up, seclude themselves, and turn to drugs or alcohol or both because they feel unloved and estranged from their parents because of lack of good communication?  How many husbands and wives suffer the erosion and destruction of their marriages because of very little and poor communication?

Relationships can become strained, broken or toxic because of no, or destructive communication.  Before you try to communicate with a child, friend, spouse, or extended family member where things aren’t going so well, ask yourself these questions:

·         Do you care how he/she feels at the moment?

·         Do you care that the relationship be restored?

·         Will you allow his/her perspective to be heard?

·         What do you love or value about this person?

·         Is an emotional connection more important to you than the topic at hand?

·         Do you manipulate to win or get what you want? (Such as shaming them, yelling, crying, etc.)

It’s been said that good communication is everything.  Sometimes communication is hindered and difficult because of different cultures, different worldviews, and different Biblical beliefs.  But most of the time I believe it’s because we haven’t learned the art of good communication.

Learn To Listen

I read of a lady I’ll call Wilma who felt she had to be the life of the party and be a good conversationalist.  Before she attended an event, she’d research various subjects to have something to say.  She tried hard to make conversation, and tell funny jokes.  But by the end of the evening, Wilma was exhausted.  Then she decided from now on she would just listen to other people talk, and found she really enjoyed herself!  She made comments now and again while mostly listening, and she learned a lot.  She found she had genuine interest in the other person’s subject, and as she engaged in the conversation, Wilma became known as a great conversationalist!  Here are some things I believe will help us be better at effective communication: 

Be A Good Listener

• Ask questions.  It shows you’re interested in what they have to say.
• Listen with your eyes.  Don’t let your eyes wander around the room, or look at other people, or try to listen in to someone else’s conversation as though you might miss something interesting.
• Don’t be a “know-it-all.” 
• Good listeners “complete the loop.”  Here’s what I mean: Person A makes a statement.  Person B acknowledges the statement.  Person A confirms the acknowledgement.  For example:

           Susan:  “Did you stop at the store for milk?”

           Bob:  “Oh, I’m sorry; I forgot all about it!”

           Susan:  “I’ll go out after dinner and get some.” 

Or, Susan could ask him to please go back out and get some milk if she really needed it for dinner.  Can you see what could happen if Susan refused to answer Bob after he said he forgot the milk?  He could feel unforgiven, or hurt.  That’s how a rift can set in, and develop into resentment or a full-blown argument.  The silent treatment is so destructive.  Don’t do it!  Complete the conversation loop!

Communicate Through Touch

You can communicate warmth without words.  When a woman is talking to another woman, she might impulsively reach out and touch an arm, hand or shoulder to show empathy in what is being shared.  Men communicate by touch with other men differently; they might shake hands, give a light slap on the back, or give a playful punch in the stomach, or put a hand on a shoulder. 

I’ve read that the skin of most Americans is starved for the warmth and caring of touch.  The Italians and French touch each other in conversation up to one hundred times during an hour.  Americans: fewer than three times.  

The laying on of hands for healing is part of the Christian ministry Jesus modeled for us.  Touch does more than we realize.  The Bible says Jesus was moved with compassion for the multitudes who were sick, and I believe that faith toward God mixed with compassion for the individual is what releases the healing power of God in Jesus’ Name.  He is our example.

Husbands and wives who don’t show affection anymore are “out of touch” with each other, and develop sexual intimacy problems.  Keep your marriage strong.  Communicate through touch!

Our young children and teenagers desperately need to be hugged and shown affection.  I’ve read that the average child ceases to receive parental affection through touch around the age of six.  What a shame!  We are created to experience and thrive on love and affection.  Our children can become emotionally starved and shriveled because of lack of touch (and effective communication through words.)  Let’s hug our children, regardless of age.  Even our grown, married children still need our love and affection.  Without it, families fall apart too easily.  Keep the hugs going!

Affirm Where You Can

Children and teens especially need words of encouragement as they form their image of who they are as individuals.  Compliment them on their looks, their good behavior, their helpfulness, etc.  Find something to compliment.  Let them know you are glad they are in the family.  If they mess up, talk to them in love and correct them without “flying off the handle” in anger, as we say.  They will learn to parent from you.  And the best thing you as a parent can do is show them how much God values them.  Read Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24 with them.

Explain Yourself

When beginning a conversation, don’t throw out a statement and assume that the other person knows what you’re talking about or what you’ve been thinking.  Preface your comments by putting them into context.  This will avoid confusion and irritation, which detract from good communication.  

Basis For Good Communication: Truth

In the words of Holy Scripture, Ephesians 4:15, God tells us to speak the truth in love.  And Colossians 3:9 tells us, “Do not lie one to another…”  Proverbs 6:17 declares that the Lord hates a lying tongue.  Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”  Proverbs 21:6 says, “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.” 

Proverbs 26:15 -28 has a lot to say about meddling in someone else’s affairs, deceiving a neighbor, gossip, quarrels, having a malicious heart toward someone, flattery.  It says a lying tongue hates those it hurts. 

Edwin Louis Cole says, “Truth is life’s most priceless commodity.”  And it is.  How do you communicate?  Do you tell the truth, or “little white lies?”  Lying erodes trust between child and parent, husband and wife, teacher and student, employer and employee.  It burdens and destroys our judicial system, financial system, police system, political system, and our government: local, state, and national. 

Indeed, the train of society must run on the track of truth, or else it will derail and self-destruct.  What if your bank lies about your bank balance, defrauding you?  What if someone falsely accuses you, and you are sent to prison unjustly?  It happens!  (I think of Joseph in the Bible, and a falsely-accused pastor I’m writing to in prison.)   Politicians have won elections through fraud and deceit, and public trust is eroded.  Businesses can suffer and close down because of dishonest practices.  We can see how important honest communication is.  Let your communication be "yes" or "no."  Anything more than this comes from evil. (Matthew 5:37) Tell the truth!    

Good communication is not about how well you speak, how glib and smooth you sound.  You may stutter or stammer, have facial tics or whatever.  But if you have genuine love in your heart for your children, spouse, family and friends, are a good listener, give sincere compliments and speak the truth, you will be a good communicator. 

For more on friendship and communication, I recommend two books:

• The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis
• Communication, Sex, and Money by Edwin Louis Cole

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

  

"B" is For Boundaries

Aren’t you glad for white painted lines, yellow painted lines, turn lanes, various road signs, street signs, speed limits, traffic lights and hash marks?  What would happen if there were no boundaries or markers for our highways?  If everyone just “did what was right in their own eyes?” (Judges 21:25)  It would be too dangerous to take a vehicle on the road.  You couldn’t get from point A to point B.  You’d be certain to be in a wreck, and very likely lose your life.  Can you imagine the massive disorder and mayhem?  Wrecks everywhere!

No business could function; life as we know it would cease to exist.  You couldn’t get to work, to the grocery store, send your kids to school, go to church, go to the doctor or dentist, or enjoy a vacation.  Life would be unbearable.  Imagine a society with no policemen.

Aren’t you glad for a society of law and order?  Romans 13:1-5 tells us to submit to the governing authorities, because God has ordained law and order in a society.  God is a God of order.  Boundaries on our highway system are necessary.  Even so, we need boundaries for our personal lives, for our children, our churches, for every part of life.

In the same way, you as a parent need to set good boundaries for your children.  Kids need to know where the limits are, what the rules are.  A child with no boundaries and “total freedom” will feel unloved and massively confused.  He will likely act out his feelings of being unloved by doing something negative that will force the parent to pay attention to him.  His life will become a wreck as he tries to ram his way through life, taking his own way, causing injury to others and disorder everywhere he goes. 

If you truly love your child, you will have the courage to say “no” when necessary.  You will have the courage to say “yes, this is right; do it!”  Just as with road signs and painted lines, guide your child: “This is where you turn right/left; this is where you stop.  This is where you have to yield; don’t go there, go here.  Stay within the lines.  Don’t go too fast; take it slow and be aware.  Don’t lose your head; do what’s right.”

Do you have God’s moral compass to help you set those boundaries?  Make sure you do; get right with God, and give your life to Jesus Christ first of all.  Without it, your family will be in chaos.  Jesus says in John 10:10 NIV “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  God has spiritual road signs on the highway of life, and we find them as we open our hearts to read God’s Word.  You get to know Him, communicate with Him, receive guidance from Him, and find answers to every situation for your family. 

American culture is a tough course to navigate safely.  Pray with your child to yield to God and receive Jesus as his Lord and Savior for all of life.  Show him what the Word of God says about any given subject or situation.  Don’t just say, “Obey just because I say so.”  Or, “What will Aunt Edna say if you do that?”   That will only teach him to obey, or give in, to please people.  He will also learn to be conditioned to give in to temptation because of the peer pressure of his friends.  Having a firm foundation on the unshakable authority of God will stand him in good stead throughout his life.

Be real and humble with your child; if you make a mistake in parenting, whether it’s losing your temper, meting out discipline that’s too harsh, making a wrong or unfair decision, etc, humble yourself, go to your child, and ask his forgiveness.  It will be a huge example to him of doing what’s right.  Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers not to exasperate their children, but to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  God will help you.  Pray for your child; let him hear you pray for him.  It will have a lasting effect on his life.

Thank God for His boundaries!  They are there for our safety, prosperity, and joy.  And whatever you do, don’t move the boundary lines in God’s Word by painting new ones to suit your own willful opinion.  Don’t give in to political correctness.  Stay steady on God’s Word.  We live in a dangerous culture where it seems the boundary lines are being moved every day, and society is becoming a mass of confusion, anger, and fighting, each shouting and jockeying to have their voices heard the loudest above the steady and unchanging voice of God.  When humility to One Final Authority isn’t honored, many “authorities” compete for control.  The result in society will be the same as a highway with no boundaries.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

Pedophilia: An "Enlightened" Frontier?

I am incensed by something I learned yesterday.  It seems there is a push on in Canada and the United Kingdom to accept pedophilia as "an alternate lifestyle," just as the Gays and Lesbians pushed their claim of a legitimate "alternate lifestyle" in the USA years ago.  Not just Gays and Lesbians pushed to have their "sexual preference" accepted by society, either.  The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), transvestites, and other groups joined the ranks of those who want their deviant sexual lifestyles and impulses accepted without criticism from society or the church.

Those now advocating for pedophilia say, "If the child and an adult consent to sexual pleasure, there is no harm done."  Really?  Says who?  Certainly not God.  It's sin.  So is homosexuality, beastiality, pornography, and every other form of deviant, compulsive behavior.  Our Creator has the standard of right and wrong -- not man.

Where will it stop?  Will beastiality, (sex between animals and people) follow hard on the heels of pedophilia as a sun of enlightenment rises on another demonic horizon?  Impossible, you say?  Think again.  That's what we thought when homosexuals began their battle for the mind of society.  When mankind gets depraved enough, what is the next step after beastiality?  Cannibalism?  And couldn't one logically make the case that somebody who feels a strong urge to murder also has an "alternate lifestyle?"  It is a proven fact that entertaining depraved thoughts and then acting on them fuels the appetite for something more exciting, as in the scourge of pornography.  Just as a drug user has to have more and stronger drugs to satisfy his cravings.  Alternate lifestyle indeed.

In reading Sarah Goode's comments in "The Guardian" (U.K.) a lot of words like "experts, controversial, science, complexity, and distinct sexual orientation" were bandied about.  I am so tired of that phrase, "sexual orientation."  The decay and blackness of sin threatens the very existence of society, of the family structure.  I think I am beginning to understand how Lot felt in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.  2 Peter 2:7 describes it well for me: "He (God) rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard).

Genesis 19 tells Lot's story.  Two angels visited Sodom and were invited to stay with Lot, Abraham's nephew.  No sooner had these guests of his eaten their meal, than "all the men from every part of the city of Sodom -- young and old -- surrounded the house.  They called out to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight?  Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.'"  Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and told them not to act that way.  He even offered his two virgin daughters (how could he!) for them to abuse sexually instead.  These homosexual men replied, "Get out of our way...you came here [to our country] as an alien and now you want to play the judge!  We'll treat you worse than them."

Isn't that always the cry of those who support homosexuality or any form of deviant sex?  "Don't judge! Get out of our way!"  Things haven't changed a whole lot; only the players have.  And we think we're so sophisticated and enlightened!  In an attempt to justify homosexual behavior, there are those who want to argue that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah mentioned in Ezekiel 16:49 NIV was just the sin of being inhospitable, uncaring and greedy, not the sin of homosexuality.  Not so.  Those who espouse such error conveniently overlook the following verse in context: they "did detestable things before Me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen." The book of Jude in the New Testament clearly says (v. 7), "In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion.  They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire."  I noticed in my devotional reading this morning that Jesus also talked about Sodom and Gomorrah in Matthew 10:15.

In a further attempt to ease the consciences of homosexuals, someone has printed "The Queen James Bible" and has altered texts to allow them to read "the scriptures" without a twinge of conscience.  How utterly sad!  Willful deception's come to full bloom.  Source of info here: http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/35014-the-queen-james-bible-and-homophobic-interpretations

I want to sincerely encourage and warn every parent and grandparent that you are responsible for teaching your families the truth.  Homosexuality is NOT okay with God.  Lesbianism is NOT okay with God.  Pedophilia is NOT okay with God.  Beastiality is NOT okay with God.  Nor are any other so-called "alternate lifestyles."  We are to know the mind of God on these things and make Him the Lord of our lives -- not bow to cultural political correctness or the personal "preference" of fleshly indulgence.  There is a wide-spread push for unbridled sexual "freedom" where just about anything goes.  And that includes adultery (sex with someone other than your marriage partner), fornication (sex before marriage) and anything not sanctioned by God's Word.   If you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then He needs to be Lord of your life.  There is a moral law of God that is written on each of our consciences, and we know deep down these things are wrong.

Some have even attempted to compare the law of not mixing two types of fibers in clothing, the law of circumcision, and other Jewish laws to the moral law of God's commandments for human behavior.  They maintain that since those Jewish ritual laws passed away with the coming of Jesus, all the references against deviant sexual behavior listed in Leviticus 18-20 are not valid anymore.  Hogwash!  Look at Leviticus 19:11 and to the end of the chapter.  We are told not to lie, deceive one another, swear falsely, defraud or rob our neighbor, to not withhold his wages, go to a medium or spiritist, not to have sex with your mother, your sister, or with an animal, and many other such things.  Have those things passed away?  No. Jesus upheld the law as God's standard of what was right and wrong to do.  And Jesus taught that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, like it says in Genesis (before the law was given) when God made Adam and Eve.  And the Apostle Paul taught the same thing (as a New Covenant believer.)  See Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, and Ephesians 5:31.

It is true that we dare not, and cannot, try to keep the Old Testament law as a means to earn our salvation.  That only comes through Jesus Christ.  But we clearly have spelled out for us what is detestable to God.  How can we excuse and indulge in detestable things if we have received His grace of salvation and are in love with Jesus Christ?  Sexual sin is a sin that affects the very core of a person, and brings defilement to society.  Moral laws that govern human behavior are not the same as laws for rituals used in Jewish worship.  Those who do not have the Spirit of Christ need moral law to restrain sin for an orderly society.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 tells us, "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them."

I believe too that in an attempt to be loving toward those who are caught in the sin of homosexuality, and the influence of a slavish politically-correct society, too many Christians have turned a blind eye to God's Word and the truth.  We talk about everything but the answer for those tormented by unwanted desires of same sex attraction (or any sexual stronghold such as pornography).  And that answer is deliverance in Jesus' Name from tormenting demons.

If we really love someone, we will tell them the truth.  That's how Jesus loved people.  He told them the truth and didn't excuse their sin, but His grace loved them out of it if they were willing to receive His grace.  How do you help someone who insists that their same sex attraction is actually a gift from God?  I guess the answer is, "You can't."  They say being told that God loves the sinner but  hates the sin is so painful.  I don't get that one at all.  It's the truth, and it should be an encouragement to them to see the sin separate from who they are as a person!  That statement applies to anybody, to any kind of sin.

Too many Christians don't want to hold to the truth, "to the faith once delivered to the saints."  And that concerns me greatly.  They call good, evil, and evil, good.  They stand the truth on its head. They get sucked in to false teaching that excuses sin.  I get so tired of being made to feel like the church should just sit down and shut up about sexual sins.  Like we have to now accept these "alternate lifestyles" because our politically-correct culture demands it.  My soul gets very weary like that of Lot's.  What would Jesus do?

In the book of The Revelation of Jesus Christ, chapter 2, verse 20, Jesus directly confronts the church in Thyatira for allowing teaching that leads His servants into sexual immorality.  Jesus always told the truth about their churches: the good and bad.  Where did we ever get this notion that if we tell somebody something contrary to what they want to hear that we don't love them?

If you know God, you know what pleases Him.  If you don't know what pleases Him, find out. I quote from Ephesians 5:8-13 NIV.  "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.  Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.  But everything exposed by the light becomes visible..."

To those caught in the sin of homosexuality or who struggle with same-sex attraction, pedophilia, or other deviant desires, I offer hope. I've heard testimonies of people like gospel singer Dennis Jernigan who were delivered from these lust demons.  Prayer won't make a demon leave.  Begging and crying out to God won't make them leave.  They must be commanded to leave.  Exodus International does excellent work in ministering to those tormented by demons of deviant sexual sin.

I get very angry at the devil's deceiving lies. They steal, kill, and destroy families and the lives of precious individuals.  Satan wants to control people and control society.  He wants to keep people in his grip.  He wants the nations of this world for himself, but he's not going to win.  We must be about our Father's business!  His evil spirits are the ones at work and they need to be resisted and cast out -- not people.  (See 2 Corinthians 10:3-5)  We are commanded by Jesus, Lord of the Church, to cast out devils.

I sense the American church seems to think demons are reserved for the "dark" continent of Africa.  Or they tend to shrug off Jesus' commandment to cast out devils and think if we ignore demons, they will go away.  What destructive deception!  We're in a spiritual war, folks, and we need Heaven's battle plan to enforce the devil's defeat won by Jesus at the cross of Calvary.  We need to honor Jesus' victory!  I believe the church has largely failed those struggling with same sex attraction, pedophilia, pornography, or any other compulsive deviant sexual desire/behavior.  The church desperately needs to quit being afraid of casting out devils, call a spade a spade, embrace and practice deliverance ministry.  We need to get people set free from demons that torture and torment God's creation of mankind.  I think it's time the church comes out of the closet and talks about that.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy