"V" Is For Vigor

Today I add the letter “V” to my simmering pot of blog alphabet soup.  When I think of vigor, I think of happiness and health, and a strong body and mind that takes action to accomplish tasks.  I think of things done without weariness, things done with excellence.  I want to be a vigorous person, don’t you?

I remember my mother’s words when I was a young girl: “All that you do, do with your might; things done by half are never done right!”  Your words are so true, my dear mother.   

When I think of vigor, the Proverbs 31 woman comes to mind.  Her energy seems boundless as “she sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (verse 17).  She works with eager hands.  She gets up while it is still dark [doesn’t sleep in], does her grocery shopping early and has a profitable business venture.  She sews attractive clothing for herself and the whole family, including décor for the home. 

She is spiritually vigorous because she fears the Lord; she speaks with wisdom, and cares about her children’s physical, mental, and spiritual health.  She’s not idle or lazy.  Is it any wonder I think of this woman when I think of vigor?  Physical exercise helps the body be vigorous.  I can’t picture this lady being overweight or unattractive, can you?

Moses in the Bible also comes to mind.  Scripture says in Deuteronomy 34:7 that when Moses died at the age of one hundred and twenty, his eyes were not weak nor was his strength gone.  How wonderful!  My mom says it was probably because he spent so much time in God’s Presence.  I think she’s right; and just think, we believers have a new and better covenant with God through Jesus Christ, than Moses did.  We can spend time in God’s Presence too!

I love what Psalm 18:28-36 says: “You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.  With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.  As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.  He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.  For who is God besides the Lord?  And who is the Rock except our God?  It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.  He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.  You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.  You broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn.” 

Sounds like vigor to me!  I need spiritual (and physical) vigor to accomplish the work God has for me to do in the earth.  He teaches me to war in the Spirit and do battle in the heavens against spirits of darkness that attack the saints of God.  What are my weapons?  I believe they are the “P" twins—praise and prayer!

Spiritual vigor comes from believing God and resting in His presence.  Believe Psalm 103:2-6: “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.  The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.”

Do you have any walls to climb?  Any fears to conquer?  Any battles to be fought and victories to be won?  Psalm 91:1-2 is a wonderful scripture about being in God’s presence: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”

I remember a wonderful chorus I used to sing:

“Shut in with God in the secret place,

There in the Spirit beholding His face;

Gaining new power to run in the race,

I long to be shut in with God.” 

What is impossible with me is possible with God.  He will strengthen my arms for battle, make me sure-footed and able to stand in precarious places, give me His shield of victory, keep me from falling, and stoop down to make me great as I rest in His power, clothed with His armor.  He will make me (and you) vigorous!

God bless you, dear reader!

*All scriptures are from the NIV Bible unless otherwise noted. 

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"U" Is For Unity

“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!  It is like precious oil poured on the head…for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.”  (Psalm 133:1-3)

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus.”  (Romans 15:5)

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  (Ephesians 4:3)

“…Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with one another and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  (Colossians 3:14)

How can we have a spirit of unity in our homes?  We are to put on love, which binds all other virtues together in perfect unity.  What does love look like in practical ways?

Let’s look at I Corinthians 13:4-7:

“Love is patient…”  What does it mean to be patient?  Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “bearing pains or trials calmly and without complaint; showing forbearance under provocation or strain; not hasty or impetuous; steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity.”  This means that when a spouse or someone in the family does something that hurts our feelings, makes us angry, or does or says something thoughtless, we choose not to react with anger, either in tone of voice or action.  Instead, we yield to the mind of the Holy Spirit in us to forgive the offense and keep our thoughts, tongue and actions under control.  If I love my husband and family, I do not react to bad behavior with anger or resentment.

Love is kind.  How pleasant our homes would be if we practiced doing something nice for one another each day!  A little kindness goes a long way in beautifying relationships.  I think of the chorus of the Curt Sapaugh and Bobby Austin’s song that says, “You’ve got to try a little kindness, show a little kindness; shine your light for everyone to see; and if you try a little kindness, you’ll overlook the blindness of the narrow-minded people on a narrow-minded street.”  I think of the scripture in Proverbs 31:26 (KJV), “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”  When I love my husband and family, I speak and act with kindness toward them.

Love does not boast.  Who wants to be around a “blowhard” every day, who brags about what he has and does, and puffs himself up?  Not me.  When a person brags, it seems he tries to make himself look better than others.  It shows insecurity.  “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth.” (Proverbs 27:2)  If I love my husband and family, I give compliments whenever I can.

Love is not proud.  A proud person looks with disdain on others, easily finds fault with them, and thinks he has superior knowledge.  Doesn’t God say, “Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies?” (I Cor. 8:1) A proud person can even think he knows better than God, and doesn’t think it worthwhile to hold on to the knowledge of God through His Word.  If I love my husband and family, I acknowledge the good in them.

Love is not rude.  When we shove others aside, interrupt a conversation to get our point across, sit in a chair we know someone else prefers, quickly take the choice piece of meat at dinner, etc, we are rude.  Rudeness gives offense and has no consideration for the feelings of others, makes crude jokes, is discourteous, coarse and vulgar.  If I love my husband and family, I comport myself with dignity and prefer them before myself.

Love is not self-seeking.   When we try to control others by making them do what we want, we are self-seeking.  We try to advance our own interests over others.  We try to control others by issuing ultimatums, throw a temper tantrum, use the “silent treatment,” be passive-aggressive (refusing to say what we want, but act in destructive ways), be stubborn, and demand that our choices and preferences be honored.  We don’t consider others.  If I love my husband and family, I am considerate of their feelings and wishes.

Love is not easily angered.  Life is full of irritations.  Do I have a short fuse to my “blow point?”  Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  Proverbs 30:33 says, “For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”  Proverbs 22:24 tells us, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.”   Continually harping on a negative subject brings strife into the home and all our relationships.  If I love our spouse and family, I am gentle and soft-spoken.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Wow.  That’s a big one.  I once knew a woman who kept marks on a calendar of the days her husband didn’t behave the way she wanted him to, and withheld sex from him as punishment.  She treated him like a child, and I can tell you the marriage didn’t last.  How many times do we allow our mind to replay “tapes” of hurtful conversations, or relive the hurtful actions of others?  We need to give grace and freedom to others; God gave us His grace through salvation in Jesus Christ, keeping no record of our wrongs against Him.  I’m so glad!  If I love my husband and family, I don't throw their failures in their face.  I keep no record of their wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  Are we glad when misfortune strikes someone we don’t like?  Do we want truth to triumph, or are we more interested in our own version of “the truth?”  If I love my husband and family, I speak the truth, rejoice in the truth, and pray for those caught in evil.

Love always protects.  Do I like to spread juicy gossip?  Do I betray a confidence?  Do I embarrass my children by telling their faults to their friends or at family reunions?  Do I dishonor and disrespect my husband by telling his faults to my girlfriends or my mother?  How would we like it if God went around telling everyone our missteps, our sins of thought and deed?  If I love my husband and family, I will protect them from embarrassment.

Love always trusts.  Love believes the best of our family members.  We trust our children when they declare their innocence in a matter.  We stand by them rather than immediately casting doubt on what they say.  I trust my husband to stay faithful to our marriage vows.  If I love my husband and family, I will trust them to do the right thing.

Love always hopes.  Love never gives up on a family member; hope never fades regardless of circumstances.  I think of the prodigal son, whose father watched daily for him to return from his life of ruin.  When I love my husband and family, I will never write them off. 

Love always perseveres.  We persist walking in love in spite of opposition or discouragement, regardless of what others may say about a child or husband or a fellow believer in the body of Christ.  When I love my family and husband, I endure verbal assaults, disdainful looks, etc, without weakening in my love for them.

Love never fails.  God IS love; God never fails.  God treats us the same way He asks us to treat others.  We can apply God to all the ways of love we just talked about.  If we walk in love, we will keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  We can’t have unity without peace.  And peace only comes when we love others.  Indeed, Psalm 133:1 is so true: “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!  It is like precious oil poured on the head…”  The Holy Spirit is likened to oil in scripture, and we certainly need the Holy Spirit’s power to walk in love, don’t we?

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:3)  Make every effort to walk in love!

*All scriptures are from the NIV translation of the Bible unless otherwise noted.

Copyright © Elaine Beachy 2013

"T" Is For Thoughts

We are a spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body.  Our body is the earth suit that carries our soul and spirit around on this planet.  Our spirit is the part of us that becomes born again, made new and alive to God when we receive Jesus as our Savior from sin.  Our soul is made up of our mind, will, and emotions.   

See it this way: draw three concentric circles, letting the smallest inner circle represent the spirit, the center of man, the part that gets born again at salvation.  Now draw another circle around that; let the space between those two circles represent the soul – the mind, will, and emotions.  Then draw the largest circle around those two; that space will represent the physical body.

It is God’s will that our spirit rule over our mind and body.  We are to have our minds renewed to God’s Word, and let the Holy Spirit lead us into all truth.  To the degree our thoughts agree with God’s thoughts, our mind, will, and emotions effect change in our whole life -- in everything we do, and in our health.  

Think about this: every action we take begins with a thought.  That’s why the kinds of thoughts we allow in our minds are so important.  Our born-again spirit is to rule over our mind, will, and emotions.  Negative thoughts produce negative emotions, negative actions and a negative life.  Good, positive thoughts produce positive emotions, positive actions and a good life.  We are the product of our beliefs.

Dr. Caroline Leaf from Dallas, Texas, has researched the human brain since 1981 and developed the Geodesic Learning theory, and Metacognitive-Mapping Approach to learning.  In her fascinating book, “Who Switched Off My Brain?,” Caroline gives a fascinating look into the power and structure of thoughts from a scientific level.  She writes, “Every thought has a corresponding electrochemical reaction in your brain…At any one moment, your brain performs about 400 billion actions, but you’re only conscious of about 2,000.  Each of these harmoniously regulated actions has both a chemical and electrical component that is responsible for triggering emotions.”

We’ve all heard of brain chemicals called “endorphins” or “feel-good chemicals.”  These are released when we think happy thoughts or have good experiences.  However, a torrent of destructive chemicals are released in the body when we have thoughts of worry, guilt, grief, fear, frustration, anxiety, anger, unforgiveness, etc,  – you get the picture!  These toxic chemicals are released because of toxic thoughts, and cause a myriad of illnesses. 

You can visualize what a thought looks like in your brain by thinking of a tree trunk with many branches made up of cells called neurons.  The more branches there are, the stronger the thought.  At the end of the branches there are nerve cells called dendrites where memories are stored.  When we think good, positive thoughts, the little “trees” are green with lots of little branches.  When toxic negative thoughts are a pattern of life, the little “trees” turn black and the synapses that transmit electrical current correctly are compromised.  But the good news is that when you focus on thinking good, positive thoughts, new green “trees” will grow over the old ones!

Science is proving that the Word of God is true: “…as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”  (Proverbs 23:7 NKJ)  Is it any wonder God told us in His word to think on good things?  

We are given the recipe for healthy thinking from Scripture.  Consider Philippians 4:6-8, NKJ: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.”

If you want a peaceful, settled mind, heed the words of your loving Creator: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”  (Isaiah 26:3 NKJ)  Choose to believe God will do what He said He will do.  Don’t let your mind doubt, and wonder if God really means it.  It can be a battle!  That's where we must "fight the good fight of faith."

Maybe you believe “Murphy’s Law” that if anything can go wrong, it will.  If you have been a negative, unhappy person given to worry, fear, arguments, complaining, faultfinding, doubt, bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger, and let your mind wander wherever it wants to go, don’t feel condemned.  Rather, let the conviction of the Holy Spirit change you.  Be thankful that God has brought it to your attention so you can choose to line up your thinking with His thoughts.

Begin today by praying this prayer from Scripture in Psalm 19:14, NIV: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”  Also, slowly and carefully study Philippians 4:6-8 (copied above). Choose to obey God’s Word.

Search out the promises in God’s Word; take them into yourself by agreeing with God and quote God’s Word out loud.  Your tongue is like the rudder on a ship that steers your life.  (See James 3:1-6)  Stand in faith on what God says, no matter what your circumstances look like at the moment.  Your faith in God’s promises will change your life as it has mine!  I think of scriptures I’ve made part of my life on a daily basis: Psalm 103: 1-14, Psalm 91 and Mark 11:22-26.

I also seriously, highly recommend two of Joyce Meyer’s books that helped me so much: “Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind,” and “Me and My Big Mouth: Your Answer is Right Under Your Nose.” 

As you change, you will influence your children and family members to also guard their thoughts.  I leave you with this scripture from Proverbs 4:20-23, NIV:  "My son [or daughter], pay attention to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight, but keep them within your heart, for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

God bless you, dear reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"S" Is For Self-Image

Self-image is how you see yourself: it’s your internal thought process of self-evaluation that creates your feelings and beliefs.  “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”  (Proverbs 23:7)  How we think about ourselves directly affects our actions, how we interact with people and how we react to life’s situations.  Our spiritual, physical, mental, social and emotional well-being is affected by how you view yourself.

Do you have a negative or positive self-image?

If you have a positive self-image, you honestly affirm your gifts, talents, achievements, but also acknowledge your shortcomings and failures without thinking nasty things about yourself.

In a healthy, functional family, children are given skills to grow and develop into healthy, happy adults with a positive self-image. These loving parents convey to their children:

• You’re allowed to feel
• You’re allowed to trust
• You’re allowed to talk
• We see you as special
• We love you even if you mess up

When I typed that last line, my thoughts went back to a Saturday on the farm when I was about eleven years old.  Mom and I were in the kitchen, baking, and I was to make maple-flavored icing for the cake we’d made.  We always put maple flavoring in the powdered sugar, butter, and milk mixture; but for some reason, I put in some brown sugar instead, forgetting we always used maple flavoring.  Imagine my dismay when I realized my mistake!  I felt terrible.  But my mom kindly said, “Oh well, maybe you just created a new recipe.  It’s okay.”  I will always be grateful to her for her kindness to me.

I also remember my Auntie Fannie and her positive input in my life.  When I was in my early teens, I was writing a little speech we called a “topic” for a Sunday evening church meeting and Auntie was sitting at the table helping me.  I remember how good I felt when she commented to my mom, “Elaine is so nice to work with.”

If you have a negative self-image, you put yourself down because you look a certain way, lack self-confidence or feel insignificant.  You focus on your faults and failures and berate yourself as you look in the mirror.  How do those thoughts work for you?  Do they help you feel better, do better, become better?  I think I can answer that question for you from personal experience.

A negative self-image begins early in life.  When there’s no meaningful dialog between parent and child, the child feels isolated, misunderstood, brushed aside or mistreated and he feels unloved.  Reasons good communication doesn’t happen in a dysfunctional family could be any of the following:

• Mental, emotional, or physical abuse
• Substance addiction where the addiction is loved instead of the child
• Physical or mental illness in the family diverts time and energy away from other family members
• Bad rules by parents, such as “children should be seen and not heard,” or “do as you’re told and don’t ask questions”
• A parent who abandons the family – physically or emotionally
• A rigid, commanding family member who controls others so they function like robots 
• Fear, harsh words, explosive temper, physical violence

 Dysfunctional parents project the following beliefs onto their children:

• You shouldn’t feel
• You shouldn’t trust
• You shouldn’t talk
• You’re not special – you’re a bother
• You won’t be loved unless you’re perfect.  (Self-worth is based on performance)

A dysfunctional family causes loss of “self.” You don’t know who you really are. You are not honest with yourself or others.  Countless wrecked lives and marriages are the result. 

Although input from others later in life also shapes how you see yourself, your self-image was shaped mainly while living in your family of origin.  To illustrate what I mean, I want to paraphrase two scenarios I recently read about.

Frank’s mother suffered from mental illness and his dad was an alcoholic.  When Frank would find his dad passed out drunk on the floor, family members told him his father was just sleeping.  The message he got was, “You don’t know what you’re seeing,” and “don’t tell anyone what you saw.”  He learned not to trust his family.

Shelly’s father was a deacon in the church and her parents really did love her.  But her dad came from a home where he was never shown love, so he didn’t know how to give it.  Shelly grew up feeling ashamed because she felt unloved.  She secretly wondered what was wrong with her that her dad didn’t love her.

No family is perfect; we all need “God’s make-over.”  We are all broken in one way or another.  The good news is that even though you may have grown up in a dysfunctional family, Jesus can restore and heal your self-image.  He is the great Redeemer and Restorer.  

May I recommend some books for helpful reading?  One is Joyce Meyer’s “Beauty for Ashes,” and the other is by Jack Hayford, “Rebuilding the Real You.”  It’s a study of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives using parallels of rebuilding walls from rubble from the book of Nehemiah in the Bible.  I used both of these in teaching women’s Bible studies a few years ago.  Wonderful healing and change occurred.

May I pray for you?  “Heavenly Father, I pray for the one reading this post; I lift them before Your throne of grace.  You know all about this one, their past, their present, and their future.  I thank You that You love them unconditionally.  By faith I lay my hand on them and declare the blessing of the Lord over this one, that healing will come to every hurting part of this person by the power of the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ Name.  Amen.”   God bless you, dear reader.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"R" Is For Routine

Much of life is routine.  When I think of the word “routine,” I tend to think immediately of drudgery, a boring lifestyle, a stifled imagination, and living in a rut.  I remember thinking as a young mother who changed diapers, did loads of baby clothes, mixed formula, and wiped up messes, “Is this all there is to life?”  One day seemed to blur into the other.

If you are there right now, consider that you are caring for God’s little life He formed and entrusted you as caretaker.  What an awesome privilege to care for His little ones!

Far from being a negative thing, a daily routine can yield many benefits.  It gives us continuity, a sense of belonging, a place to be with things to do.  What if you had no place to go and nothing to do?  Ask a homeless person or a prisoner, and they will likely admit they miss the freedom of routine as they knew it.  Having a good routine gives us freedom and a sense of purpose.

If you’d like some help to live each day in a balanced, time-saving way, here are some ideas:

• Make spending quiet time with God a priority in your day.  Read the Bible, asking the Holy Spirit to help you apply it to your life.  Pray to God and listen quietly to Him.
• Go to bed early enough and at the same time; it assures a deeper sleep and sets your internal clock. 
• Eat meals at the same time each day, and eat similar foods to save time and distraction. 
• Plan meals for the coming week and grocery shop on the weekends.
• Make a daily “To Do” list.  From that, make a “Must Do” list.  Give attention to the “Must Do” list first; then when those are accomplished, you’ll feel rewarded and your mind will be less cluttered as you go to sleep.
• Get regular exercise, even if it’s just walking twenty minutes a day on a treadmill or outside.  Your body will thank you.
• Make quality time for your family and friends.  Next to God, people are the most important things in life.
• Have a daily “You” time.  Allow yourself a tiny mini vacation each day where you sit back, relax, think, and just “are.”
• Before you go to bed, make sure the sink is clean and the dishes are in the dishwasher.  In the morning, unload it before breakfast.  Better yet, unload it before going to bed so you can start the day with a clean, orderly kitchen.
• Don’t procrastinate doing things you dislike.  As you keep your schedule, you will find it gets easier and becomes a good habit.
• Don’t pack too much into one day.  Life is meant to be lived with joy and fulfillment.  You don’t need to be “Superman” or “Wonder Woman.”  Relax.

I remember how I used to push myself to see how much I could do in one day – how “smart” I was in pushing myself to get a lot done.  I did have satisfaction in accomplishing a lot, but I think it also made me cranky sometimes.  Looking back, I wish I would have left some things undone and spent more time playing with my children.  Don’t regret your routines – be wise.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you balance your plan for the day, plan meals, and make God-and-me-time.  He will give you inspired ideas!

If you’d like more tips for a good routine, here’s a web link for you:

http://personalorganizing.about.com/od/DailyRoutine/tp/10-Tips-For-A-Better-Daily-Routine.htm

Children especially need a good daily routine.  Parents and caregivers need to mentally prepare a child for changes in activities throughout the day by giving a cheerful, five-minute notice, for example, of a change in activity or schedule.  If a child is rushed, pushed or threatened, he reacts with confusion and resentment.  Temper tantrums and breakdowns are more likely to occur. 

Having a good, consistent daily routine for a child is essential.   Here’s why:

• It makes for a happier, more co-operative child; and a happy child makes a happy parent.
• The child feels less anxious or nervous.
• Following a regular routine develops self-discipline and responsibility.  Even though it may seem boring to an adult, it’s a foundation of success for the child.
• It builds confidence and independence. 
• The child feels in control of his day.
• You will enjoy your child more.

When I thought about routines, I thought of the prophet Daniel in the Bible.  When he and his three friends were told to eat a different diet than what they were used to, they stuck to their routine of what they ate, and at the end of ten days were found to be healthier and better nourished than those who ate the king’s food.  Scripture says in Daniel 1:17 (NIV) that “God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning.  And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.”

Then later, King Darius decreed that no one dared pray to any god but the king for thirty days, or he would be thrown into the lions den.  We read in Daniel 6:10 how, when Daniel learned of the decree, “he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem.  Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.” 

Wow, talk about a routine!  I believe we can see from Daniel’s life that he was a diligent, routine-keeping kind of man.  And God blessed him with a high position in government because he was a faithful man. 

Yes, much of life is made up of routine living.  But it doesn’t need to put you in a rut or make you dull and uninteresting.  It doesn’t need to be boring or make you tired. A good routine helps everyone be steady and faithful.  Just ask Daniel.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"Q" Is For Queen

The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, all on a summer’s day…

Okay, my “Q” is not for that sort of queen.  It’s not for Dairy Queen, either.  Nor for Queen Anne’s Lace, pretty as it is.

Are you a queen?  Of course you are – Queen of your castle! 

However, I want to talk about three queens in the Bible and see what we can learn from them. 

Let’s see – there’s the Queen of Sheba who came to visit King Solomon.  Her story is found in I Kings 10:1-13.  It’s interesting to me that she came with a great entourage and many gifts because she had only heard about King Solomon’s fame; she didn’t believe it and wanted to see for herself.  She also heard of his great wisdom and his relationship to the Lord, and she came to test him with hard questions, to tell him all that was on her mind.

Solomon answered all her questions; there was nothing he couldn’t explain.  When the Queen of Sheba saw all his wisdom, the elaborate palace he had built, the food on his table, how he seated his officials, the clothes even his servants wore, his cupbearers, and the enormous amount of burnt offerings he made at the temple of the Lord, she was overwhelmed.  She exclaimed to King Solomon that the half had not even been told her: “in wisdom and wealth you have far exceeded the report I heard.  How happy your people must be!  How happy your officials, who continually stand before you and hear your wisdom!  Praise be to the Lord your God…  And she gave Solomon the most gold, spices, precious stones ever! 

And “King Solomon gave the queen of Sheba all she desired and asked for, besides what he had given her out of his royal bounty.  Then she left and returned with her retinue to her own country.”  She left the king, a very wise and wealthy queen.  Don’t you think her visit influenced the way she governed her own country from then on?  I do.

Then there’s Queen Jezebel.  Even her name has kind of an evil sizzle to it, don’t you think?  Like the buzzing of a stinging bald faced hornet.  I’ve never heard of any parent who wanted to name their daughter “Jezebel.”  Have you?

We read about her in I Kings 19:1, I Kings 21:1-17, and 2 Kings 1:25.  The wife of Israel’s king Ahab, she was a ruthless, scheming, controlling, manipulative, husband-belittling, murderous woman who connived to get her own way. She was loud and brash.  Jezebel “wore the pants” in her home, usurped her husband’s authority, forged his name to documents and arranged a kangaroo court to kill a man.  All to get a convenient vineyard next door for a vegetable garden for her husband.  She loved to conquer, to win, at any cost.

She intimidated people, including her husband, who cowered to her every whim and order.  She so greatly intimidated the bold Prophet Elijah that he ran for his life the very day after he won a great victory on Mount Carmel when he killed all her prophets of Baal.  She worshipped the Sidonian gods Baal and the Ashteroths, and led her husband, King Ahab, into idol worship too. 

Jezebel met a bitter end.  Her painted face and latest up-do couldn’t save her from being thrown out of a window and trampled to death by horses and then eaten by dogs.  Oh my.

Even Jesus metaphorically mentions “that woman Jezebel” who misleads His servants into sexual immorality and idol worship.  The reference to this evil spirit is in Revelation 2:20-21.

Last but not least, we have Queen Esther in the Bible.  What a lovely queen she was, trusting God and being submissive to those in authority over her.  Esther was discreet in what she said and did, and had a great banquet given in her honor when she was made queen.   Later, she risked her own life to save her people from extinction, and displayed humility and respect for her husband, the king.  Esther's life was spared, her enemy was hanged, and God used her to bring about a great deliverance for the Jewish people.  What a blessing Esther was.

We wives are the queens of our castles, ones who greatly influence our husbands.  Let’s seek excellence and wisdom like the Queen of Sheba, and have a serving, respectful attitude like Queen Esther’s.  Need I say anything about Queen Jezebel?  Yes, I do.  I see too much of her in our culture today. 

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"P" Is For Pity Party

Have you ever gone to a pity party where you were the guest of honor?

In 1987 we moved to Manassas, VA, with our three children, ages thirteen, seventeen, and eighteen.  My husband had been self-employed in Meyersdale, PA, but economic conditions were quite severe for us. 

My parents and all my four brothers, my uncle, his wife and children had moved to Virginia a number of years before that because of negative economic conditions in PA as well.  We had been praying and standing on God’s promises to provide for us and give us direction about finding work for Dave.  

One Friday we got a phone call from my first cousin, saying his boss had put a note in the envelope with his paycheck asking if he knew anyone else from PA who was looking for a job, because he wanted to hire people with a good work ethic.

So Dave called my cousin's boss and was hired over the phone that same Friday evening.  We rejoiced for God’s answer to prayer and His provision.  It all happened so suddenly, and I wasn't prepared.

Over the weekend I washed his clothes, helped him pack, and made arrangements for him to stay with one of my brothers and his wife in VA.  With the plan that Dave would come home every Friday evening, he left with his suitcase on Monday morning, and I was left home alone with three teenagers and a house with a coal furnace for heat. Good thing I had learned to fire the furnace!  But I cried as I hugged him “goodbye.” He put his suitcase and some food I had fixed for him into the car, backed out of our driveway and drove off into the unknown.

And I was invited to a pity party.

A year after we moved to Virginia we started going to the same church as my parents and four brothers.  They all had their circle of friends, while I felt adrift from the moorings of our home and affiliations in Pennsylvania.  I had been heavily involved in Women’s Aglow, and was President of the Somerset Chapter for a year.  I was looked up to in my community and at Indian Lake Christian Center where we had attended church.  I taught Sunday School and was involved with the women of the church.  Dave was on the Board of Elders, ran the sound system and tape ministry.  In Virginia, nobody but my family knew my name.

More than once, after church on Sundays, my brothers and parents invited us to join them as they all made plans to eat out together.  But we couldn’t afford to join them.  

And I was invited to another pity party.

I fought tears as we drove home where I would make lunch for the five of us.  I remember times I would seethe with resentment that the meal it took me an hour to prepare for the family was wolfed down in less than ten minutes.  More resentment followed as each family member would disappear downstairs to play computer games, or go to the living room to watch TV, leaving me to clear the table, put away the food, load the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen. 

So I was invited to a BIG pity party – with me as the guest of honor.  A regular blow-out – and I don’t mean candles!  Sometimes I’d retreat to our bedroom, shut the door, and play the part of a tearful martyr.  Poor me.  Who cared about me?  Nobody – it seemed.  I wanted my husband – or somebody – to come ask me what was wrong.  To notice that I was very upset. 

Have you ever been to a party like that?  What a drag!

I remember another pity party.  By this time, our two oldest children had found jobs as well, and the next Christmas they and my husband came home from work, each holding a bonus check.  I felt I had nothing to show for my work.  I remember the searing emotions that welled up in me along with my tears.

(Oh, don't sit there so self-righteously.  Do you mean to tell me you've never gone to a pity party? Seriously?)

Thank God for the power of the Holy Spirit in my life.  He gently reminded and helped me to change my attitude.  I give Joyce Meyer's teaching tapes and books a lot of credit for helping me see my stinkin’ pity parties had no place in the life of a victorious Christian.  It was bearing rotten fruit.  A stinking attitude.  A sour disposition.  Silence and withdrawal as I “suffered” alone.

Attending a pity party is dangerous; it will kill your joy.  And if you have no joy, you will be without spiritual strength.  You won't feel like singing, praying, or reading the Word of God.   

Dear reader, if you have fallen into the pit of self-pity, ask God to help you to leave the pity party.  I encourage you to take a sheet of paper and a pencil and begin to list all the things you have to be thankful for.  Focus on them and begin to thank God for those things.  “Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (I Thessalonians 5:18, NIV)  He will show you the banquet table of rich food He has for you.  That’s the grace of God at work in your life.  Aren’t you thankful?  I know I am.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy