"H" Is For Humility

Benjamin Franklin carried a list of thirteen virtues around with him in a book, and chose a different virtue to work on each week.  In a column marked “defects,” he kept careful record of each infraction, and started over every thirteen weeks in order to cycle through these virtues four times a year.

“For many decades Franklin carried his little book with him, striving for a clean thirteen-week cycle.  As he made progress, he found himself struggling with yet another defect:

‘There is perhaps no one of natural passions so hard to subdue as pride.  Disguise it.  Struggle with it.  Stifle it.  Mortify it as much as one pleases.  It is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself… Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.’  (“What’s So Amazing About Grace?” by Philip Yancey, p. 35)

                                                    ______

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.”  Thomas Merton

“What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.”  Abraham Lincoln

“He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.”  George Eliot, Adam Bede, 1859

“Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with.”  Peter Marshall

And here's a link to a Dilbert comic strip that fits our soup ingredient of humility:
http://dilbert.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/100000/70000/7000/500/177518/177518.strip.gif 

              Humility

Pride goes before destruction,

Haughty spirit e’re a fall.

Before honor comes humility –

We’ll do well to recall.

With wisdom comes humility,

A treasure from the heart.

Acknowledge God in all my ways

And know I’m not that smart!

Think not more highly than you ought;

Exalt yourself no more.

Avoid disgrace, receive His ways,

And enter lowly door.

          By Elaine Beachy

          February 21, 2013

Scripture references:  Proverbs 15:33, Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 29:23, Proverbs 11:2, Psalm 25:9, James 4:6, and Matthew 23:12.

God bless you, dear Reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"G" Is For Gentleness

Now it’s time to add “G” to our alphabet soup!  Gentleness is such a precious commodity, and flavors our soup delicately. 

Define It:

To be gentle is “to be mild-mannered, honorable, kind, amiable, lenient, tender, soothing, calm, quiet, peaceful, serene and tranquil.”  It means “to be free from all harshness, roughness or intensity.”  The antonyms for “gentle” are: belligerent, cantankerous, contentious, ill-natured, petty, quarrelsome, aggressive, demanding, overbearing, harsh and stern.  A person who displays gentleness is free of these negative traits. 

Scriptures on Gentleness:

2 Samuel 22:36 NKJ “You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your gentleness has made me great.”

Psalm 18:35 NIV “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.”  (NKJ says “Your gentleness has made me great.)

2 Corinthians 10:1 NIV “By the meekness and gentleness of Christ I appeal to you…”

Galatians 5:22 NIV “But the fruit of the Spirit is…gentleness…”

Philippians 4:5 NKJ “Let your gentleness be known to all men.  The Lord is at hand.”

Gentleness

Like a gentle falling rain

Freshens earth yet once again,

So a gentle heart will bring

Tender, peaceful, soothing things.

Rita dabbed at her eyes with the bed sheet.  Tears rolled across the bridge of her nose, down onto the other cheek, and soaked into the pillow as she lay on her side.  Sleep refused to come, and she resented the fact that Ralph was already snoring.  How could he sleep when she felt so wounded and unloved?  

They’d had a big fight, and went to bed without speaking.  Once again he had shouted at her; seemed like of late her husband couldn’t talk to her without being quarrelsome.  Why couldn’t he be more gentle and understanding?  She longed for him to be kind to her, to comfort her.  True, she should have been more careful in her driving and avoided the pole she’d backed into.  The bumper was bent and the right side tail light was busted.  She said she was sorry, but Ralph had called her “stupid” and yelled something about money growing on trees…

My Husband is a gentle giant of a man with all the qualities of gentleness.  He thinks before he speaks and very rarely says anything hurtful.  He’s a man of wonderful integrity and easy to get along with, and I’m truly blessed with a wonderful marriage.  His father, Irvin Beachy, was also a very gentle man.  After he passed away in 1992, I wrote a free-style poem about him that I’d like to share with you.

Legacy of Love

Patiently, he waits as mother arranges us

Around the table; and when we’re seated

He asks that we sing together.

Eyes closes, hands clasped together,

He begins to sing, “God is so good,

God is so good, He’s so good to me.”

And then he prays a blessing

On his children, grandchildren,

And on the food,

Praying in hushed tones

To the Savior he loves so much.

He slowly reaches for another piece of celery

As we still sit around the table

Busily chattering like noisy magpies.

Mother has finally seated herself

To enjoy her piece of pie

After serving all the rest of us.

His blue plaid flannel shirt

Faintly echoes the softness of his smile

As he reaches over to stroke Mother’s arm.

His heart, too, is warm and soft,

Like that flannel shirt.

At the door, his tender “good-bye”

And warm hug is coupled with

“God bless you, my daughter.”

I feel as loved and accepted by him

As if I were his own daughter.

Little do I know it is the last time

I will look into his “Jesus eyes,”

The tender-hearted eyes of a soul

We called Irvin.

I’m richer for having known him,

And I’m doubly blessed to have his son

As my husband.

By Elaine Beachy

November 29, 1994

Our Homes would be like a bit of heaven on earth if families practiced the strength of gentleness with one another.  How do we teach our children to be gentle?  First of all, parents must show gentleness in the home; children learn what they live.  There are special tips for parents in an article written by Gary Thomas for Focus on the Family at this website:  http://www.thrivingfamily.com/Family/Faith/2011/strength-of-gentleness.aspx and further Bible study on the subject of gentleness. 

God bless you, dear Reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

  

"F" Is For Faithfulness

Webster’s Ninth Collegiate Dictionary defines faithfulness as: "Steadfast in affection or allegiance; loyal; firm in adherence to promises or in doing a duty; conscientious.  It also means: constant, staunch, steadfast, and resolute."

This same dictionary goes on to further define some of these qualities.  “Loyalty” implies a firm resistance to any temptation to desert or betray.  “Constant” means continuing firmness of emotional attachment; “staunch” suggests fortitude and resolution to stick to something; it means to be impervious to any influence that would weaken resolve.  “Steadfast” implies a steady and unwavering course in love, and allegiance of conviction.

What feelings come up inside you when you read or hear words such as loyal, firm, steadfast, staunch and resolute?

When you think of faithfulness, who or what comes to mind?

Joseph

I think of Joseph in the Bible and how his loyal faithfulness in Pharaoh’s household made everything he did for his master to prosper.  I think especially of Joseph’s resistance to the persistent daily temptation by his master’s wife to commit sexual immorality with her.  What prompted Joseph’s faithfulness?  Was it fear that Pharaoh or somebody else would find out?  Was it fear that he would lose his position?  Was it fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease?  No. 

Genesis 39:9-10 (NIV) gives us the answer Joseph gave Potiphar’s wife: “‘No one is greater in this house than I am.  My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife.  How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?’ And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.”

We all know how that scenario played out.  He was punished by her for his faithfulness to God and righteousness.  But in the end, God rewarded Joseph.  God rewards faithfulness!

Moses

I also think of Moses and what is said of him in Hebrews 3:5: “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house…”  His brother Aaron was unfaithful, and chose to craft a golden calf for the Israelites and pronounced it their god who led them out of Egypt!  This was the same Aaron who, along with seventy elders of Israel, had met God on Mount Sinai only a short time before, and ate and drank in His presence!  They were not “constant” or faithful.

Our Lord, the Only Truly Faithful One

Lamentations 2:22 – 23 (NKJ) declares, “”Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” 

Psalm 36: 5 (NKJ) says, “Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.  Your righteousness is like the great mountains.”

Psalm 145:13 (NIV) assures us, “The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.”

Aren’t you glad that the Lord is our sure Rock, our Strong Tower, a Sure Defense and totally reliable?  He never changes.  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever!”  Hebrews 13:8 (NKJ) “But as God is faithful, our word to you was not Yes and No.  For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us – by me, Silvanus, and Timothy – was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes.  For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.” 2 Corinthians 2:18-20 (NKJ)

To Think About:

Are you faithful to your spouse?  Do you consider any breech of marriage vows a breech against God as Joseph did?  Jesus said if one looks with sexual desire on anyone other than their mate, he/she has committed adultery already in his/her heart.  Are you guarding your heart with all diligence as Proverbs 4:23 says?  The plague of divorce, fornication, and homosexual permissiveness in the church must stop.  There are too many hard hearts, too many straying eyes, too many excuses, too much feeding of the flesh, and not enough reverence and respect for God and His Word. 

Are you faithful to your friends?  Or do you divulge confidential information about them to others when you think it might serve to lift you up in importance?  Do you speak the same thing to others as you speak to them, or do you have a forked tongue?

Are you faithful to your word?  Look at Psalm 15:4.  Is your word your bond, even if a promise you made turns out to be inconvenient or even hurts you?  Or do you think others will just understand if you don’t keep an appointment or fulfill an assignment you agreed to?  Do you at least make a phone call if an emergency comes up and you can’t fulfill an obligation, or do you let it slide?  When you sign up for nursery duty at church, or to bring snack for your Sunday School class, do you honor your commitments?  Do you follow through on your word?  God says it’s better not to vow than to vow and not pay.  (Ecclesiastes 5:5)  He puts a high priority on faithfulness.  It’s a sign of disrespect, dishonor and selfishness when someone is unfaithful.  The apostle Paul wrote Timothy and told him that “…the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” 2 Timothy 2:2 (NKJ)

Are you faithful to Jesus?  Or are you ashamed of Him and His Word?  Do you twist His words to suit yourself?  Do you dishonor Him?  He loves us so much and has given Himself as payment for our sins.  Shouldn’t we be so grateful and deeply love and honor Him?  He is so beautiful and wonderful, and He is FOR us.  Shouldn’t we be FOR Him as well?  We need His baptism of the Holy Spirit to be bold and unashamed of Him.  2 Timothy 2:11-13 (NKJ) says, “Here is a faithful saying:  For if we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we shall also reign with him.  If we deny him, he will also deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.”

Prayer:

“Heavenly Father, I want the fruit of faithfulness to abound in my life.  I repent of being unfaithful to _______________.   I embrace the truth of Your Word as the final authority in my life, and I commit to be faithful in heart as a true disciple of the Lord Jesus.  Thank You, Jesus, that You are the truly Faithful One.   Thank You for your grace, Your power, to be faithful to You, to honor You, to respect You, to obey Your Word.  Amen.”

God bless you, dear reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"E" Is For Excellence

As a young girl, one of my chores every Saturday was to dust the furniture in our large farmhouse.  Often I’d get sidetracked while dusting and Mom would find me sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the family bookshelf, reading a book. 

My mother never did things halfway, and she taught me a lot about excellence.  I can still hear her voice as she quoted this little rhyme to me more than once:

All that you do,

Do with your might!

Things done by half

Are never done right!

What is Excellence?

In preparing to write this post, I looked up the word “excellent” in Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance.  There are over ten different reference numbers for the meaning of excellent in the Hebrew language where the English word is translated as “excellent.” Among the definitions were: “valuable, precious, brightness, reputation, weighty, abundant, famous, gallant, glorious, mighty, noble, worthy, honorable (in the sense we’d say ‘top notch’), successful, highest rank, majestic, lifted up, and preeminent.”  These definitions all apply to God.  (Job 37:33, Ps. 8:1, Ps. 36:7, Ps. 148:13, Ps. 150:2, Isaiah 12:5, KJV).

I find it interesting that the definition of excellent in Hebrews 1:4 KJV “he obtained a more excellent name than they,” is “to be fragrant; spice.”  Jesus’ name is a wonderful fragrance!  He is totally perfect, totally excellent, of the highest rank, lifted up and preeminent.  God has highly exalted Him! 

In the scriptures of Romans 2:18 KJV “…and knowest his will, and approvest the things that are more excellent…”, and Phillippians 1:10, “That ye may approve things that are excellent…,” the word excellent there means “fresh, cheerful, rosy, good news, tidings.”

And I love the Hebrew word for excellent in Proverbs 17:27 is “cool, chill, and quiet”.  Here’s the verse in KJV: “He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent (cool, quiet) spirit.”  I wonder if we get the expressions “cool,” and “chill out!” from this Hebrew definition.  J

Biblical Examples of Excellence  

When I think of biblical examples of excellence, I immediately think of Daniel and his three Hebrew friends.  They resolved to remain true to God and his commandments even when threatened with the loss of their lives.  Daniel was promoted in Nebuchadnezzar’s kingdom to second highest in command because he was faithful and diligent in his work, respectful, helpful, trustworthy, honest, and gave God all the glory.  Psalm 75:6 KJV says promotion comes from the Lord.  And Daniel had an excellent spirit.  Daniel 6:3, KJV, says, “Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king thought to set him over the whole realm.”   (See also Daniel 5:12 KJV) 

Excellence is a premium character quality.  It means doing what your flesh would rather not have to do to maintain your integrity before God and man.  It means doing things well, not slip-shod or halfway.  It means being honest and speaking the truth in love.  It means keeping your word, even to your own hurt (Psalm 15:4.)  It means keeping a cool head, a quiet spirit, and chilling out when you feel like “flying off the handle.”  Daniel maintained a cool and quiet spirit.  A person who remains cool and steadfast in the face of adversity will command respect because of his character.  It includes being faithful and trustworthy.  Indeed, how can one achieve a reputation for excellence without them?  It means living a life of wisdom.  Proverbs is full of excellent wisdom for all of us.

I think especially of the Proverbs 31 woman and the godly excellence we see described about her.  She speaks well of her husband and doesn’t embarrass him; others respect him because of her noble character.  She takes care of her physical body, and is strong to do her work.  She isn’t idle or lazy, gives to the poor, looks after her household’s needs for food and clothing, and carries on a profitable business.  She knows what’s going on with her children and she instructs them faithfully in the ways of the Lord.  She speaks with wisdom (keeps a cool spirit).  She knows physical charm and beauty is only skin-deep, and she's not vain.  She fears the Lord. 

Questions for Reflection:

How would your personal appearance change if you did everything with excellence?  What would your daily routine be?  What would your house look like?  How would your family change?  If you hold a public job, do you do it with excellence, or try to get by with as little work as possible?  It helps to remember that we are actually working for the Lord, not man. 

Scriptures to Encourage:

Colossians 3:23 tells us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.”

I Corinthians 15:58 says, “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to make changes to have excellence in your life.  God bless you, dear reader! 

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"D" Is For Diligence

Diligence must be added to our alphabet soup to give it “consistency.” J  I think of Proverbs 4:23 and 26 in the KJV that say “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life… Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.”  And Proverbs 22:29 tells us “Do you see a man skilled (diligent) [KJV] in his work?  He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure man.”

I hear women deplore their unfinished projects, because they have trouble finishing what they start.  They admit to procrastination because they “just don’t feel like doing it right now.”  Distraction sets in when some new idea or project catches their fancy.  I think of women who told me they have many yards of fabric stashed on dusty shelves for that “someday” project, for those three quilts they want to make, or other numerous half-finished projects.  They despair of the mess, and just close the door on the sewing room. 

The Proverbs 31 woman is extolled for her numerous virtues.  Verse 13 tells us this godly woman “works with eager hands”; verse 17 says “she sets about her work vigorously”; and verse 27 reads, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”   

The Lord gave me a poem about the sluggard using Proverbs 6:10 and Proverbs 24:30-34.  A sluggard is defined as a habitually lazy, shiftless, and inactive person; an idle person, a dawdler, a dolittle, loafer, slouch… you get the picture. 

The Sluggard

Go to the ant now, O sluggard.

Consider her ways and be wise.

Turn off the telly, stretch out the belly!

Open the lids of your eyes.

How long will you lie there, you sluggard?

When will you rise from your sleep?

Just one more snooze and the folding of hands

Will put you in debt way too deep.

I went past the field of the sluggard;

Past the vineyard of him who was slack.

Thorns had grown through his garden,

The ground and the wall was a wreck.

I took to heart ways of the sluggard.

A lesson was learned, and I knew

A little more sleep and the folding of hands

Will keep me from things I should do.

Elaine Beachy

January 29, 2013

I’m sure there are times when all of us don’t feel like cleaning up the kitchen, or getting the load of laundry out of the dryer and folding it.  We don’t feel like packing one more lunch, dusting the furniture yet again, cleaning the bathrooms, etc.  I have found it’s all about attitude.  I have a Simply Said wall design that says, “A good attitude makes a great difference.”  And it helps me to have a thankful attitude.  I have to choose to begin thanking the Lord for all His blessings, and before I know it, I feel energized and happy! 

God bless you, dear reader, and may you be energized as you add diligence to your batch of “alphabet soup!"

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

"C" Is For Communication

Communication includes verbal conversation, facial expression, body language, and non-verbal signals.  It can be Morse code, sign language, Braille, writing, pacing and volume of our voice.  We make a statement by our taste in clothes, personal appearance, or how we decorate our homes and take care of our personal property. 

Communication is such a vast subject, but for now, we’ll concern ourselves mainly with communication among family and friends.  I wonder how many teenagers clam up, seclude themselves, and turn to drugs or alcohol or both because they feel unloved and estranged from their parents because of lack of good communication?  How many husbands and wives suffer the erosion and destruction of their marriages because of very little and poor communication?

Relationships can become strained, broken or toxic because of no, or destructive communication.  Before you try to communicate with a child, friend, spouse, or extended family member where things aren’t going so well, ask yourself these questions:

·         Do you care how he/she feels at the moment?

·         Do you care that the relationship be restored?

·         Will you allow his/her perspective to be heard?

·         What do you love or value about this person?

·         Is an emotional connection more important to you than the topic at hand?

·         Do you manipulate to win or get what you want? (Such as shaming them, yelling, crying, etc.)

It’s been said that good communication is everything.  Sometimes communication is hindered and difficult because of different cultures, different worldviews, and different Biblical beliefs.  But most of the time I believe it’s because we haven’t learned the art of good communication.

Learn To Listen

I read of a lady I’ll call Wilma who felt she had to be the life of the party and be a good conversationalist.  Before she attended an event, she’d research various subjects to have something to say.  She tried hard to make conversation, and tell funny jokes.  But by the end of the evening, Wilma was exhausted.  Then she decided from now on she would just listen to other people talk, and found she really enjoyed herself!  She made comments now and again while mostly listening, and she learned a lot.  She found she had genuine interest in the other person’s subject, and as she engaged in the conversation, Wilma became known as a great conversationalist!  Here are some things I believe will help us be better at effective communication: 

Be A Good Listener

• Ask questions.  It shows you’re interested in what they have to say.
• Listen with your eyes.  Don’t let your eyes wander around the room, or look at other people, or try to listen in to someone else’s conversation as though you might miss something interesting.
• Don’t be a “know-it-all.” 
• Good listeners “complete the loop.”  Here’s what I mean: Person A makes a statement.  Person B acknowledges the statement.  Person A confirms the acknowledgement.  For example:

           Susan:  “Did you stop at the store for milk?”

           Bob:  “Oh, I’m sorry; I forgot all about it!”

           Susan:  “I’ll go out after dinner and get some.” 

Or, Susan could ask him to please go back out and get some milk if she really needed it for dinner.  Can you see what could happen if Susan refused to answer Bob after he said he forgot the milk?  He could feel unforgiven, or hurt.  That’s how a rift can set in, and develop into resentment or a full-blown argument.  The silent treatment is so destructive.  Don’t do it!  Complete the conversation loop!

Communicate Through Touch

You can communicate warmth without words.  When a woman is talking to another woman, she might impulsively reach out and touch an arm, hand or shoulder to show empathy in what is being shared.  Men communicate by touch with other men differently; they might shake hands, give a light slap on the back, or give a playful punch in the stomach, or put a hand on a shoulder. 

I’ve read that the skin of most Americans is starved for the warmth and caring of touch.  The Italians and French touch each other in conversation up to one hundred times during an hour.  Americans: fewer than three times.  

The laying on of hands for healing is part of the Christian ministry Jesus modeled for us.  Touch does more than we realize.  The Bible says Jesus was moved with compassion for the multitudes who were sick, and I believe that faith toward God mixed with compassion for the individual is what releases the healing power of God in Jesus’ Name.  He is our example.

Husbands and wives who don’t show affection anymore are “out of touch” with each other, and develop sexual intimacy problems.  Keep your marriage strong.  Communicate through touch!

Our young children and teenagers desperately need to be hugged and shown affection.  I’ve read that the average child ceases to receive parental affection through touch around the age of six.  What a shame!  We are created to experience and thrive on love and affection.  Our children can become emotionally starved and shriveled because of lack of touch (and effective communication through words.)  Let’s hug our children, regardless of age.  Even our grown, married children still need our love and affection.  Without it, families fall apart too easily.  Keep the hugs going!

Affirm Where You Can

Children and teens especially need words of encouragement as they form their image of who they are as individuals.  Compliment them on their looks, their good behavior, their helpfulness, etc.  Find something to compliment.  Let them know you are glad they are in the family.  If they mess up, talk to them in love and correct them without “flying off the handle” in anger, as we say.  They will learn to parent from you.  And the best thing you as a parent can do is show them how much God values them.  Read Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24 with them.

Explain Yourself

When beginning a conversation, don’t throw out a statement and assume that the other person knows what you’re talking about or what you’ve been thinking.  Preface your comments by putting them into context.  This will avoid confusion and irritation, which detract from good communication.  

Basis For Good Communication: Truth

In the words of Holy Scripture, Ephesians 4:15, God tells us to speak the truth in love.  And Colossians 3:9 tells us, “Do not lie one to another…”  Proverbs 6:17 declares that the Lord hates a lying tongue.  Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”  Proverbs 21:6 says, “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.” 

Proverbs 26:15 -28 has a lot to say about meddling in someone else’s affairs, deceiving a neighbor, gossip, quarrels, having a malicious heart toward someone, flattery.  It says a lying tongue hates those it hurts. 

Edwin Louis Cole says, “Truth is life’s most priceless commodity.”  And it is.  How do you communicate?  Do you tell the truth, or “little white lies?”  Lying erodes trust between child and parent, husband and wife, teacher and student, employer and employee.  It burdens and destroys our judicial system, financial system, police system, political system, and our government: local, state, and national. 

Indeed, the train of society must run on the track of truth, or else it will derail and self-destruct.  What if your bank lies about your bank balance, defrauding you?  What if someone falsely accuses you, and you are sent to prison unjustly?  It happens!  (I think of Joseph in the Bible, and a falsely-accused pastor I’m writing to in prison.)   Politicians have won elections through fraud and deceit, and public trust is eroded.  Businesses can suffer and close down because of dishonest practices.  We can see how important honest communication is.  Let your communication be "yes" or "no."  Anything more than this comes from evil. (Matthew 5:37) Tell the truth!    

Good communication is not about how well you speak, how glib and smooth you sound.  You may stutter or stammer, have facial tics or whatever.  But if you have genuine love in your heart for your children, spouse, family and friends, are a good listener, give sincere compliments and speak the truth, you will be a good communicator. 

For more on friendship and communication, I recommend two books:

• The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis
• Communication, Sex, and Money by Edwin Louis Cole

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

  

"B" is For Boundaries

Aren’t you glad for white painted lines, yellow painted lines, turn lanes, various road signs, street signs, speed limits, traffic lights and hash marks?  What would happen if there were no boundaries or markers for our highways?  If everyone just “did what was right in their own eyes?” (Judges 21:25)  It would be too dangerous to take a vehicle on the road.  You couldn’t get from point A to point B.  You’d be certain to be in a wreck, and very likely lose your life.  Can you imagine the massive disorder and mayhem?  Wrecks everywhere!

No business could function; life as we know it would cease to exist.  You couldn’t get to work, to the grocery store, send your kids to school, go to church, go to the doctor or dentist, or enjoy a vacation.  Life would be unbearable.  Imagine a society with no policemen.

Aren’t you glad for a society of law and order?  Romans 13:1-5 tells us to submit to the governing authorities, because God has ordained law and order in a society.  God is a God of order.  Boundaries on our highway system are necessary.  Even so, we need boundaries for our personal lives, for our children, our churches, for every part of life.

In the same way, you as a parent need to set good boundaries for your children.  Kids need to know where the limits are, what the rules are.  A child with no boundaries and “total freedom” will feel unloved and massively confused.  He will likely act out his feelings of being unloved by doing something negative that will force the parent to pay attention to him.  His life will become a wreck as he tries to ram his way through life, taking his own way, causing injury to others and disorder everywhere he goes. 

If you truly love your child, you will have the courage to say “no” when necessary.  You will have the courage to say “yes, this is right; do it!”  Just as with road signs and painted lines, guide your child: “This is where you turn right/left; this is where you stop.  This is where you have to yield; don’t go there, go here.  Stay within the lines.  Don’t go too fast; take it slow and be aware.  Don’t lose your head; do what’s right.”

Do you have God’s moral compass to help you set those boundaries?  Make sure you do; get right with God, and give your life to Jesus Christ first of all.  Without it, your family will be in chaos.  Jesus says in John 10:10 NIV “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  God has spiritual road signs on the highway of life, and we find them as we open our hearts to read God’s Word.  You get to know Him, communicate with Him, receive guidance from Him, and find answers to every situation for your family. 

American culture is a tough course to navigate safely.  Pray with your child to yield to God and receive Jesus as his Lord and Savior for all of life.  Show him what the Word of God says about any given subject or situation.  Don’t just say, “Obey just because I say so.”  Or, “What will Aunt Edna say if you do that?”   That will only teach him to obey, or give in, to please people.  He will also learn to be conditioned to give in to temptation because of the peer pressure of his friends.  Having a firm foundation on the unshakable authority of God will stand him in good stead throughout his life.

Be real and humble with your child; if you make a mistake in parenting, whether it’s losing your temper, meting out discipline that’s too harsh, making a wrong or unfair decision, etc, humble yourself, go to your child, and ask his forgiveness.  It will be a huge example to him of doing what’s right.  Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers not to exasperate their children, but to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  God will help you.  Pray for your child; let him hear you pray for him.  It will have a lasting effect on his life.

Thank God for His boundaries!  They are there for our safety, prosperity, and joy.  And whatever you do, don’t move the boundary lines in God’s Word by painting new ones to suit your own willful opinion.  Don’t give in to political correctness.  Stay steady on God’s Word.  We live in a dangerous culture where it seems the boundary lines are being moved every day, and society is becoming a mass of confusion, anger, and fighting, each shouting and jockeying to have their voices heard the loudest above the steady and unchanging voice of God.  When humility to One Final Authority isn’t honored, many “authorities” compete for control.  The result in society will be the same as a highway with no boundaries.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

Pedophilia: An "Enlightened" Frontier?

I am incensed by something I learned yesterday.  It seems there is a push on in Canada and the United Kingdom to accept pedophilia as "an alternate lifestyle," just as the Gays and Lesbians pushed their claim of a legitimate "alternate lifestyle" in the USA years ago.  Not just Gays and Lesbians pushed to have their "sexual preference" accepted by society, either.  The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), transvestites, and other groups joined the ranks of those who want their deviant sexual lifestyles and impulses accepted without criticism from society or the church.

Those now advocating for pedophilia say, "If the child and an adult consent to sexual pleasure, there is no harm done."  Really?  Says who?  Certainly not God.  It's sin.  So is homosexuality, beastiality, pornography, and every other form of deviant, compulsive behavior.  Our Creator has the standard of right and wrong -- not man.

Where will it stop?  Will beastiality, (sex between animals and people) follow hard on the heels of pedophilia as a sun of enlightenment rises on another demonic horizon?  Impossible, you say?  Think again.  That's what we thought when homosexuals began their battle for the mind of society.  When mankind gets depraved enough, what is the next step after beastiality?  Cannibalism?  And couldn't one logically make the case that somebody who feels a strong urge to murder also has an "alternate lifestyle?"  It is a proven fact that entertaining depraved thoughts and then acting on them fuels the appetite for something more exciting, as in the scourge of pornography.  Just as a drug user has to have more and stronger drugs to satisfy his cravings.  Alternate lifestyle indeed.

In reading Sarah Goode's comments in "The Guardian" (U.K.) a lot of words like "experts, controversial, science, complexity, and distinct sexual orientation" were bandied about.  I am so tired of that phrase, "sexual orientation."  The decay and blackness of sin threatens the very existence of society, of the family structure.  I think I am beginning to understand how Lot felt in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.  2 Peter 2:7 describes it well for me: "He (God) rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard).

Genesis 19 tells Lot's story.  Two angels visited Sodom and were invited to stay with Lot, Abraham's nephew.  No sooner had these guests of his eaten their meal, than "all the men from every part of the city of Sodom -- young and old -- surrounded the house.  They called out to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight?  Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.'"  Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and told them not to act that way.  He even offered his two virgin daughters (how could he!) for them to abuse sexually instead.  These homosexual men replied, "Get out of our way...you came here [to our country] as an alien and now you want to play the judge!  We'll treat you worse than them."

Isn't that always the cry of those who support homosexuality or any form of deviant sex?  "Don't judge! Get out of our way!"  Things haven't changed a whole lot; only the players have.  And we think we're so sophisticated and enlightened!  In an attempt to justify homosexual behavior, there are those who want to argue that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah mentioned in Ezekiel 16:49 NIV was just the sin of being inhospitable, uncaring and greedy, not the sin of homosexuality.  Not so.  Those who espouse such error conveniently overlook the following verse in context: they "did detestable things before Me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen." The book of Jude in the New Testament clearly says (v. 7), "In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion.  They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire."  I noticed in my devotional reading this morning that Jesus also talked about Sodom and Gomorrah in Matthew 10:15.

In a further attempt to ease the consciences of homosexuals, someone has printed "The Queen James Bible" and has altered texts to allow them to read "the scriptures" without a twinge of conscience.  How utterly sad!  Willful deception's come to full bloom.  Source of info here: http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/35014-the-queen-james-bible-and-homophobic-interpretations

I want to sincerely encourage and warn every parent and grandparent that you are responsible for teaching your families the truth.  Homosexuality is NOT okay with God.  Lesbianism is NOT okay with God.  Pedophilia is NOT okay with God.  Beastiality is NOT okay with God.  Nor are any other so-called "alternate lifestyles."  We are to know the mind of God on these things and make Him the Lord of our lives -- not bow to cultural political correctness or the personal "preference" of fleshly indulgence.  There is a wide-spread push for unbridled sexual "freedom" where just about anything goes.  And that includes adultery (sex with someone other than your marriage partner), fornication (sex before marriage) and anything not sanctioned by God's Word.   If you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then He needs to be Lord of your life.  There is a moral law of God that is written on each of our consciences, and we know deep down these things are wrong.

Some have even attempted to compare the law of not mixing two types of fibers in clothing, the law of circumcision, and other Jewish laws to the moral law of God's commandments for human behavior.  They maintain that since those Jewish ritual laws passed away with the coming of Jesus, all the references against deviant sexual behavior listed in Leviticus 18-20 are not valid anymore.  Hogwash!  Look at Leviticus 19:11 and to the end of the chapter.  We are told not to lie, deceive one another, swear falsely, defraud or rob our neighbor, to not withhold his wages, go to a medium or spiritist, not to have sex with your mother, your sister, or with an animal, and many other such things.  Have those things passed away?  No. Jesus upheld the law as God's standard of what was right and wrong to do.  And Jesus taught that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, like it says in Genesis (before the law was given) when God made Adam and Eve.  And the Apostle Paul taught the same thing (as a New Covenant believer.)  See Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, and Ephesians 5:31.

It is true that we dare not, and cannot, try to keep the Old Testament law as a means to earn our salvation.  That only comes through Jesus Christ.  But we clearly have spelled out for us what is detestable to God.  How can we excuse and indulge in detestable things if we have received His grace of salvation and are in love with Jesus Christ?  Sexual sin is a sin that affects the very core of a person, and brings defilement to society.  Moral laws that govern human behavior are not the same as laws for rituals used in Jewish worship.  Those who do not have the Spirit of Christ need moral law to restrain sin for an orderly society.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 tells us, "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them."

I believe too that in an attempt to be loving toward those who are caught in the sin of homosexuality, and the influence of a slavish politically-correct society, too many Christians have turned a blind eye to God's Word and the truth.  We talk about everything but the answer for those tormented by unwanted desires of same sex attraction (or any sexual stronghold such as pornography).  And that answer is deliverance in Jesus' Name from tormenting demons.

If we really love someone, we will tell them the truth.  That's how Jesus loved people.  He told them the truth and didn't excuse their sin, but His grace loved them out of it if they were willing to receive His grace.  How do you help someone who insists that their same sex attraction is actually a gift from God?  I guess the answer is, "You can't."  They say being told that God loves the sinner but  hates the sin is so painful.  I don't get that one at all.  It's the truth, and it should be an encouragement to them to see the sin separate from who they are as a person!  That statement applies to anybody, to any kind of sin.

Too many Christians don't want to hold to the truth, "to the faith once delivered to the saints."  And that concerns me greatly.  They call good, evil, and evil, good.  They stand the truth on its head. They get sucked in to false teaching that excuses sin.  I get so tired of being made to feel like the church should just sit down and shut up about sexual sins.  Like we have to now accept these "alternate lifestyles" because our politically-correct culture demands it.  My soul gets very weary like that of Lot's.  What would Jesus do?

In the book of The Revelation of Jesus Christ, chapter 2, verse 20, Jesus directly confronts the church in Thyatira for allowing teaching that leads His servants into sexual immorality.  Jesus always told the truth about their churches: the good and bad.  Where did we ever get this notion that if we tell somebody something contrary to what they want to hear that we don't love them?

If you know God, you know what pleases Him.  If you don't know what pleases Him, find out. I quote from Ephesians 5:8-13 NIV.  "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.  Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.  But everything exposed by the light becomes visible..."

To those caught in the sin of homosexuality or who struggle with same-sex attraction, pedophilia, or other deviant desires, I offer hope. I've heard testimonies of people like gospel singer Dennis Jernigan who were delivered from these lust demons.  Prayer won't make a demon leave.  Begging and crying out to God won't make them leave.  They must be commanded to leave.  Exodus International does excellent work in ministering to those tormented by demons of deviant sexual sin.

I get very angry at the devil's deceiving lies. They steal, kill, and destroy families and the lives of precious individuals.  Satan wants to control people and control society.  He wants to keep people in his grip.  He wants the nations of this world for himself, but he's not going to win.  We must be about our Father's business!  His evil spirits are the ones at work and they need to be resisted and cast out -- not people.  (See 2 Corinthians 10:3-5)  We are commanded by Jesus, Lord of the Church, to cast out devils.

I sense the American church seems to think demons are reserved for the "dark" continent of Africa.  Or they tend to shrug off Jesus' commandment to cast out devils and think if we ignore demons, they will go away.  What destructive deception!  We're in a spiritual war, folks, and we need Heaven's battle plan to enforce the devil's defeat won by Jesus at the cross of Calvary.  We need to honor Jesus' victory!  I believe the church has largely failed those struggling with same sex attraction, pedophilia, pornography, or any other compulsive deviant sexual desire/behavior.  The church desperately needs to quit being afraid of casting out devils, call a spade a spade, embrace and practice deliverance ministry.  We need to get people set free from demons that torture and torment God's creation of mankind.  I think it's time the church comes out of the closet and talks about that.

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy

The Bait of Offense

Eloise was just sure Patty was mad at her for some unknown reason, because Patty just walked right past her without saying “hello.”

John and Theresa left their church because they felt lonely, unappreciated and overlooked.

Paula slept on the edge of the mattress because she felt Brian owed her a big apology.  Brian turned his back to her and went to sleep.  Big tears slid down Paula’s cheeks and sleep refused to come, as angry thoughts ran laps in her mind.

Leslie couldn’t believe her ears.  Mary, with whom she had prayed and entrusted the secret of a painful affair in her past, told another friend, and now the whole church knew.  She felt totally betrayed.

Clara looked wide-eyed at Lois.  How had she lost all that weight?  How dare she come around flaunting stiletto heels, dressed to the nines, and sporting a new hairdo?  How could she afford those clothes?  Clara looked down at the lumps and bumps on her own overweight body and her three-year-old Christmas outfit.  She fought back the tears as she thought of her husband’s cut in pay and financial struggles. Suddenly she just wanted to get out of there -- leave the family Christmas gathering.

*****

The spirit of offense is a terrible thing that can grow into a root of bitterness in our very souls if not dealt with immediately.  We can feel offended when people seem better off than we are, don’t agree with our opinions, overlook our accomplishments, are rude, mistreat us, etc.  A spirit of offense causes people to feel wounded, misunderstood, hurt, angry, resentful, envious, and jealous.  A spirit of offense makes you want to change somebody else and control them.  A spirit of offense makes you blame others instead of looking at yourself. Makes you want to prove you’re right.  A spirit of offense causes one to misunderstand another and wrongly judge another’s motives.  It’s the spirit behind murders and school shootings, acts of arson and violence of every sort.  It’s a spirit from the pit of hell itself.   

We believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, having received the grace of God, must be a light to the world by heeding the scripture in Hebrews 12:15 NIV: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to defile many.”  We must give grace to others; “freely you have received, freely give.” Matthew 10:8 NIV

A bitter root begins to grow if we're not established in grace.  The Hebrews scripture above tells us first of all that we are to see to it that no one misses the grace of God.  What does it mean to miss the grace of God?  Let me ask you this question: if we Christians understood how much God has forgiven us, would we refuse to forgive someone else?  If we understood that God approves of us, would we be resentful, envious or jealous of someone else?  If we understood that we are forgiven and cleansed of our sins, would we feel insecure? No, understanding and experiencing these truths would establish us in grace and make us a very thankful people.

But if we believers are not established in grace, we’ll take the bait in satan’s trap of offense.  Consider that in order to snare an animal, a trapper has to bait the trap to lure the creature.  If we don’t take the bait (entertain thoughts of offense), no harm will come to us.  We must watch out for satan’s traps and not take his bait.  The possibilities to be offended are as endless as the list of our relationships.  The truth is, only those you care about can hurt you.

By refusing to forgive, or believe the best of others, or having an “it’s all about me” attitude, an evil spirit of offense moves in and takes up residence in our souls.  Our minds, wills, and emotions become deeply affected.  It colors everything we see, hear, and do.  A root of bitterness begins to grow like a cancer that destroys marriages, breaks up close friends, keeps people out of church, causes backsliding, breaks up families, inhibits or destroys our own God-given potential, topples businesses, and corrupts governments.  It sucks the life and joy out of everything.  The root of bitterness feeds on selfishness.  And selfishness is the sin of pride in every human heart. 

Consider that roots are a source of nutrition to feed what’s above ground, that which is seen.  Roots are hidden.  A person can seem totally fine, but have deep roots of bitterness hidden in them.  Sooner or later, the fruit will appear from the root.  We must be rooted and grounded in love, as Ephesians 3:16-19 says.  As long as we are in this physical body and have relationships with others, the opportunity to be offended will surely come.

Those who cause offense are likely those we sit in church with, sing with, spend holidays with, attend social functions with, sleep with, confide in, work with, or have grown up with.  “The home, which is meant to be a shelter of protection, provision and growth where we learn to give and receive love, is often the very root of our pain.”  Quote from the book The Bait of Satan by John Bevere.

James 1:19-20 is to be heeded: “My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”  Another pertinent scripture is James chapter 4.

For more on this deep topic of taking offense, I recommend John Bevere’s book The Bait of Satan.  Here’s also a wonderful website for further study:

www.greatbiblestudy.com/bitterness.php

Dear one, if you are continually feeling wounded, and angry, blaming somebody else, take an honest look into your heart.  Chances are you may find a root of bitterness that you have allowed to grow there.  God sent His Word and healed us; His Word in your heart is the answer.  I proclaim liberty for you in Jesus’ Name! 

  

What is the fruit of your root?  May your root be nourished in love, as found in I Corinthians 13: 1-8a, NIV: “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.  It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  In other words, love doesn’t take offense!

Don’t take the bait.  Don’t take offense.  Focus on the grace of God in your life.

May God’s grace produce the fruit of love that blossoms and grows in your home, family, and personal relationships. I bless you in Jesus’ Name to that end!

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

Thermometers or Thermostats?

Today's post is what I wrote for our life group discussion this coming Sunday.  I thought my readers might enjoy a bit of a different format, and do a Bible study with me.  We all use thermometers from time to time, and have thermostats in our homes.  I recently read an interesting observation by Corrie ten Boom that we believers are to be thermostats, not just thermometers, and that inspired this Bible study. :o) 

Thermometers or Thermostats?

The Scoop

Mouth thermometers are used to take a sick person’s temperature; mechanical thermometers measure heat or cold indoors and out.  Cooking thermometers are used to check meat for doneness, or make candy.

Anyone can be a thermometer, metaphorically-speaking.  When we read the newspaper, watch TV news, or listen to radio talk shows, and say “that’s terrible,” or “that’s wonderful,” we are nothing more than a thermometer.  Anyone can see society’s condition, pontificate on the problem, point out failure, pound the fist, and point the finger at people and the decay all around us.

But a thermostat can change a situation.  It responds to our touch to heat or cool a room.  In the same way, we believers were meant to respond to the Holy Spirit’s touch in our heart and burn with holy zeal to accomplish God’s purposes in the earth.  God has given us power and authority to do just that.  A thermostat has a built-in thermometer, and at a set point, the power kicks in and effects a change in climate.

The Mission

Christmas is more than gaily wrapped gifts, sparkling decorations, lots of baked goodies and family get-togethers.  With the Advent season upon us, consider the reason Jesus came to earth in the first place.  I John 3:8 says “. . .the reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.”

Read Matthew 28:19 – 20  Notes:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Mark 16: 15 – 18  Notes: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Read Isaiah 58:6-11  Notes:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Question:  How can we “loose the chains of injustice, untie the cords of the yoke, and set the oppressed free” around us and still represent Christ’s love?  How do we defeat the devil and impact our world with the Kingdom of Heaven?  How can we personally stand against godless forms of oppressive government all around the world?   

The Action

1.  Do a heart check.  I Peter 5: 6 ____________________________________________

2.  Identify the enemy: Ephesians 6:12 ________________________________________

3.  Arm yourself for battle.  Ephesians 6:10 ___________________________________

4.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  James 4:7.  Remember Jesus’ battle with Satan in the wilderness. Matthew 4: 4, 7, and 10. ________________________________________________________________________

What does it mean to resist the devil?  It’s more than saying “No” to temptation.  It’s more than asking God to rebuke the devil.  It’s more than saying “Devil, get out, and never come back!”

We must act like thermostats and use the sword of the Word of God as we contend for what is right.  When we encounter evil, we say, “I’m against this!” and take action to oppose wickedness in every form.  How?  Overcome evil with good.  Example:  when Herod had John the Baptist beheaded, (Matthew 14), we see what Jesus did in response to this evil deed.  Note verses 13 – 23: Jesus assaulted Satan’s evil kingdom!

5.  Learn how to pray for, and how to pray against. 

• Pray against the demonic powers of evil
• Pray for the righteous to be built up through our prayers
• Thank God for those in positions of authority over us
• Pray against Satan’s work in their lives
• Pray for eyes and ears to be opened and for hearts to turn to what is right

Read pages 152 – 153 in Brother Andrew’s book, And God Changed His Mind.

6.  Have courage to speak out against systems of thought that are not in line with God’s Word.  Have holy indignation, but don’t get in the flesh; pray and speak with a tearful heart for the people enslaved by Satan’s devices and control.  Speak the truth in love.

7.  Be a true disciple of Jesus.  Know how He thinks by reading His Book.

8.  Oppose Satan’s power by using your God-given authority over him.  Luke 10:19

9.  Pray in the Spirit: Ephesians 6:18

10. Remember who you are!  You are a thermostat: be engaged in true climate change!

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy