Daddy's Graduation

(Tonight I came across a file of my writings I had tucked away, and decided to post a copy of what I wrote when my dad passed away over twelve years ago.)

~~~

On Saturday, March 29, 2003 at 1:30 in the afternoon, Barb called to say Dad was being taken to the hospital because his lips were purple and he was very weak.  I assumed he'd be given oxygen and sent home with a supply to help his breathing.  He had been feeling ill and tired for some time, but no one knew how sick he really was, and I wonder if he even knew.

The doctor said Dad was very ill and they would keep him for a few days.  He was put into a regular room, but by the next morning, Dave and I received word in church that he'd been moved to the critical care unit. We left the church service immediately and drove to the hospital.  I felt physically cold inside, and it began to dawn on me that he may never come home again, and never see our new home being built next to their back yard.  Sometimes I felt like I was in a robotic be-numbed state as reality happened around me.

For ten days our family lived through the process of watching Daddy slip away to Heaven.  I am grateful for the time we all had with him.  I found myself feeling wounded inside, wondering how I could again pray with faith for anyone who was sick, and I wept because of that too.  The Holy Spirit brought Jesus's words to Peter to my mind:  "I have prayed for you that your faith fail not..."

I distinctly experienced the heart of Jesus when I heard Him speak into my heart that He cries with me.  That was such comfort to me.  Death is God's enemy too, the last enemy to be put under foot, Scripture says.  Jesus was a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  I wondered if perhaps Jesus buried His earthly father, too.  In this life, we can't live forever, but resurrection is on the way, praise to Jesus our Savior!  As long as satan is roaming to and fro throughout the earth seeking whom he may devour, death will be a reality in this life.  We await the consummation of all things in Jesus Christ our conquering King, but until then we live and believe by faith the best way we can with the knowledge we have.  No more is asked of us.

Jesus Cried with Me

We swabbed his mouth and kissed his head,
We children stayed around his bed;
Helped Daddy hug our mama's neck
As Mama kissed her love, and wept.
And Jesus cried with me.

When Daddy couldn't eat or drink
Or even make his eyes to blink,
We stroked his limbs, massaged his feet,
Sang songs to him that were so sweet.
And Jesus cried with me.

In tears we bathed his heated brow
Until he needed it no more.
When breath grew shallow, heartbeat faint,
God was there, and saw His saint.
And Jesus cried with me.

Remembered words, remembered deeds,
When Daddy tended to our needs.
We told him "thanks" for all he'd done,
Then released him to go home.
And Jesus cries with me.

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

Thankful

The soft swish of the dishwasher, the barely-audible hum of the refrigerator, and the steady click-click of the battery-operated kitchen clock on the wall surround me as I sit down to write.  My husband sleeps, and a secretive darkness covers the windows as I sit at the kitchen table, savoring the gift of quiet solitude.

Water gurgles out of the dishwasher and down the sink drain as I sit in reflective silence.  My eyes take in the comforts of my home—the home my husband and I built twelve years ago.  I am surrounded by the blessing of order, peace and tranquility, and I am deeply thankful.

Others live in constant fear

Of bombs and missiles coming near.

Children wail and parents cry.

Heaps of rubble meet the eye.

Isis mows the Christians down,

There’s much trouble all around.

Racial hatred, great offense—

None of it makes any sense.

William hides beneath his bed

As angry words his father said

To his mom brought such a fright

He cringed at sounds in dead of night.

Hopeless hoarder wades through trash.

In her house, there’s just a path.

Angry, broken, in despair,

Life weighs too much to even care.

I’m thankful for our country dear

In spite of all the wrong that’s here.

To live in freedom—oh how blessed!

May families live in godliness.

I’m thankful that I have a home,

A quiet place to call my own—

Not homeless, wandering around.

I count my blessings: they abound!

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

The Twelve

As I read the Scriptures in my quiet time with the Lord, I am reminded time and again of His humanity during His time on earth. Though He was and is God, Jesus laid aside His divinity and came to earth to live in a human body, to live as a man, showed the heart of God to the world through the power of the Holy Spirit before He suffered and died for our sins on the cross and was raised from the dead by God's power.  He is our example of how the righteous can and should live by the power of the same Holy Spirit.  I wrote this free-verse poetry after reading Mark chapter 6 today.  I like to imagine myself there in the scene with Jesus and the disciples and how things are likely to have happened.  Today I saw things I'd never thought of before.  What is God saying to you?  I invite you to share comments below.

 The Twelve

The sad news spread quickly.

“John has been beheaded, Jesus.  He’s dead.”

The Twelve

Had gathered around Him

To tell of their success

In teaching, healing,

And casting out devils

As He had sent them to do

Two by two.

Grieving for His cousin,

And tired from ministry,

Jesus planned a getaway

For all of them.

 “Come away to a deserted place

To be alone and rest awhile,” He said.

Clamoring crowds watched them leave

And ran on foot ahead of them

From cities all around.

As Jesus’ boat landed,

His tired eyes saw a multitude

Waiting for Him.

Denied a respite,

But moved with compassion,

He knew these sheep had no shepherd.

Sheep who were spiritually tired,

Hungry, beaten, bruised and sore,

Uncared-for-sheep

With matted hair and infestations.

Physically sick and afflicted,

They needed a Teacher.

So He taught them.

Disappointed by change of plans,

The Twelve became

Disgruntled and hungry

As the day wore on.

When would they get to eat the food

They had brought with them

In the boat?

It wasn’t polite to eat

In front of hungry people.

And evening was upon them.

“Jesus, send this crowd away

“To buy food for themselves.

“They’re hungry in this deserted place. 

“It’s late, and time they all went home

“Where they belong.”

 Knowing their selfish motives,

Jesus said, “You feed them.”

The Twelve retorted,

“You want us to deplete our money bag

“By four thousand dollars

“To go buy food for this horde?”

Jesus paused, looked at them and asked,

“What do you have on hand?  Go see.”

The report was grim: five loaves of bread

And two fish.

Food The Twelve

Had planned to parcel out

Among themselves

Once the hordes left.

After all, it’s not polite

To eat

In front of hungry people.

Patiently, Jesus instructs The Twelve.

“Divide the people into orderly groups

“Of hundreds and fifties

“And tell them to sit down.”

After they obeyed,

The Twelve watched as Jesus

Laid his hands on the loaves and fish

Held out in front of Him.

He looked up to heaven,

And declared the food blessed.

The Twelve watched as loaf after loaf

Was broken into serving pieces

And handed to them to distribute.

As they served one hungry person

After another,

A fresh piece of bread appeared

In their hands

To take the place of the one just given!

Same with the fish!

Amazing!  What was this?

Would it be enough for five thousand

Hungry men?

Yes, it was, and then some.

When all had eaten their fill,

Twelve baskets full of leftovers

Were gathered—

One for each of The Twelve.

Jesus ordered them back across the sea,

But He went up the mountain to pray—

Alone.

He needed to hear from His Father

How and what to do and teach—

Not just the masses—but

The Twelve.

Based on Mark 6 and John 12:49 in the Holy Bible, NKJV

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

Giants and Grasshoppers

Over July 4^th weekend, some of our family went to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Chantilly, VA.

As I looked at the many aircraft on display, either on the concrete floor in the dome-shaped building or suspended from its ceiling, I marveled at the mind-boggling ingenuity of inventors who created such flying machines.  It indeed proves the adage that what the mind can conceive, the man can achieve.

In the museum, we stood under the Discovery Shuttle, gazing up at the twenty thousand tiles that covered much of the space craft.  My daughter looked at me and remarked, “You know, Mom, every one of those tiles has a number; each tile has a specific job to do; each tile is like a puzzle piece; it’s made only for a certain spot.  It’s like the body of Christ; God fits us together, too.  Each member has a certain job to do that no one else can do, a certain spot to fill that no one else can fill.” 

The analogy was profound.  I said, “You are so right, Deb; and if a tile gets damaged, it affects everything.  It’s the same with the body of Christ.”  I thought of the Scripture in I Corinthians 12:12-27 that says the body is made up of many parts, and one part can’t say to the other parts, “I don’t need you.”  There should be no division in the body, but each part should have equal concern for the others.  “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”

The impressive reconnaissance spy plane, Lockheed SR–71A, was nicknamed “Blackbird.”  Flying at an incredible altitude of 88,000 feet at more than three and one half times the speed of sound, it was coated with a special paint containing iron ferrite that absorbed radar energy instead of returning it to the sender, and made the SR-71A impossible to detect and shoot down.

Speaking of reconnaissance, you’ll remember the account in Scripture of how Moses sent spies into the Israelite’s promised land, Canaan, but fearful men spread a bad report about the land and said, “There are giants occupying the land and there’s no way we can take them.  We felt like grasshoppers compared to those giants and we looked like grasshoppers to them, too!”  God was quite angry with them for being fearful, and those who were afraid died off in the desert and never did get to enjoy the land the Lord intended to give them.  Of all the original group of Israelites, only Joshua and Caleb got to enjoy the fruits of God’s promise. 

    

God has sent the Church on a reconnaissance mission as well, to win souls for His Kingdom.  Our culture can look big, bad, and scary as the foundations of our society crumble around us.  Truthfully, the Church has been too self-absorbed, too passive, too easily intimidated by loud voices that tried to discourage and silence us from speaking out on moral issues.  The Church has let too much of the world creep in and take over its thinking.  Little by little, we have retreated with the hope that the world will finally “like” us if we keep quiet.  To me, the expression, “Can’t we just all get along?” is like saying, “Just agree there’s no absolute truth.  And for Pete’s sake, don’t cause dissent.”  My friend, the truth is, someone’s values and decisions will always prevail.  No, phrases like the preceding one are calculated to shut up the righteous, cut out their influence from society, and promote an agenda contrary to the Word of God.  Jesus said, “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world.”  (John 16:33)

It may seem like the devil’s side is winning the day, but make no mistake: God has already won.  I love Revelation 11:15: “Then the seventh angel sounded: and there were loud voices in heaven saying, ‘The kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever!’” 

My friends, let’s not be passive or retreat from the truth.  In our spiritual warfare, we fight from a place of rest in the finished work of Jesus and the authority He has given us.  Let’s run toward the battle; let’s invade the darkness!  How do we do that?

• Prepare for spiritual battle: read the Word of God daily and make it the priority for your life. Pray and fellowship with Jesus every day.  Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  (James 4:7)  Ask God for boldness.  Ephesians 6:10-18 tells us to “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil,…above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.”    
• Make God’s love a priority everywhere you go.  “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”  (Matthew 5:44)
• Pray prayers of blessing over people; imagine hugging them as you bless them.
• Be a friend of sinners as Jesus was.  He associated with them, and always loved them, but always from a foundation of truth.  Look for ways to be kind to everyone, just like our Heavenly Father is kind to all.  (Matthew 5:45)
• Stand up and speak out for what is right; don’t hide your light under a bushel.   
• Stay salty. In other words, keep your flavor; don’t go “flat.”  Be a preservative of righteousness in our culture.  Perhaps God will ask you to run for public office. 
• Obey the Holy Spirit’s promptings. 
• Read the gospels and see how Jesus ministered; He’s our example of how to live by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Of Himself, He could do nothing.  He laid aside his Divine power while on earth and relied totally on the Holy Spirit’s power, just as we need to do.  In John 14:12, Jesus said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.” 
• Read good books by fellow warriors such as Bill Johnson who wrote the book, “The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind: Access to a Life of Miracles.”  You will learn from one who lives a life of miracles like Jesus did.       

 Beginning with ourselves, the battle we believers are engaged in is an enforcement of the devil’s defeat by Jesus, the Son of God.  We are not only to preach the truth, but demonstrate Jesus’ victory by doing His works.  We, the Church, need to keep our focus on the words of our Commander in Chief: “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  (Matthew 28:19-20)  And Luke 9:2, “…Preach the kingdom of God and… heal the sick.”  

When we know who we are in Jesus, we won’t feel like grasshoppers next to a big, bad, scary, giant of a decaying culture.  Let’s search for the souls of men and women, boys and girls, and rescue those who are perishing.  Let’s bring life and freshness, hope and healing!  My heart’s desire is to learn to love more perfectly, and do the works of Jesus by putting action to my faith in His gospel: “As you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cast off demons.  Freely you have received, freely give.”  (Matthew 10:8)  Let us give Jesus the reward for His suffering!  As this simple child’s song says so well, “Be bold; be strong, for the Lord our God is with you!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQeCJ9EgLXQ

Note:  All Scriptures are taken from the New King James Bible unless otherwise noted.

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

Blessing Others

My heart responded with a heart-felt “Yes” to what I was reading in the book, “The Grace Outpouring,” by Roy Godwin a few weeks ago.  He talked about how God taught him to bless people rather than pray against them.  Here are some quotes from the book: 

“What exactly should we bless people with?  What should we say?  First we ask the Holy Spirit to help us with the words to bless before we begin, so that the people receive the blessing that the Father wishes to pour out on them: his insight, not ours; his words, not ours.

We want to bless the whole person, and many people find the well-used blessings acronym helps them be creative in blessing.

• B      Body: health, protection, strength
• L      Labor: work, income, security
• E      Emotional: joy, peace, hope
• S      Social:  love, marriage, family, friends
• S      Spiritual:  salvation, faith, grace

So for instance, we may bless someone as follows: ‘I bless you in the name of Jesus that the fullness of his peace may flood your heart and mind, sinking deeply into every part of your being and life.  I bless you that your body may be strengthened and healed so that you are free to walk in the joy of the Lord.’

We need to be clear at all times that we are blessing in the name of Jesus with his authority and anointing. All power and authority resides in him, including the power and authority to bless. 

Blessings can be spoken over people, whether present or absent; home, towns, areas, regions, nations, land, businesses, livestock, schools, etc.”

As I read these things, it felt so good to begin blessing everyone in Jesus’ name that came to mind: my children, my husband, my church, my pastor, our president, our government leaders, etc.  Rather than griping and complaining, being fearful, or lashing out in anger and outrage at people living in spiritual darkness, we believers in Jesus Christ must begin to bless them, asking that they will experience the goodness of God.  We never bless wrong behavior, but we bless the person, for whom Jesus died.  We must view them with God’s heart.  For doesn’t the Holy Spirit say that the goodness of God will lead people to repentance?  (Romans 2:4)  

Other scriptures came to mind as I continued reading the book.  For example, I Peter 3:10 says, “He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.”  James 4:9-10 (NIV) says, “With the tongue we praise our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers, this should not be.”   Remember the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would want them to do to you.” And Luke 6:38 says, “Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom.  For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”  Which measuring cup do you use: the cup of blessing or the cup of cursing?

We need to keep on speaking blessing over others in spite of what life throws at us.  It may seem like all hell tries to break loose against the saints of God to wear them out.  The enemy of our souls wants to steal the Word from our hearts so we will use our tongues to give him license to do his dirty work.  He uses the curses we speak over people—curses like simply saying, “He’ll never amount to anything,” or “She is a wretched example of humanity.” Sneering and speaking abusively against someone is a curse over them.  Curses are works of darkness, and the devil is the ruler of darkness.  Stay out of his territory, or you’ll get your robe of righteousness filthy and he’ll clobber you!  The more we say how awful people are, the more they will stay that way, and we help the devil enslave them.  People are not the enemy: the devil is!  Speak words of blessing over others (and yourself) so God can set them free!

Although there are days when life seems to assault us, there are days when one senses, with gratefulness, the Lord’s presence and blessing in profound ways.

One day the other week, I had to run some errands, and was feeling tired and achy.  I didn’t feel like walking more than necessary, so I prayed for a good parking spot as I drove into the parking lot at WalMart.  To my surprise and delight, another car was just leaving a perfect parking place near the front door and next to a cart return!  I eased my car into the vacant space as he left. It was almost too good to be true!  I felt the Lord’s kindness and favor and thanked Him from the bottom of my heart for the never-before-attained parking spot! 

It looked as though it would rain, so I grabbed my umbrella and headed inside.  I exclaimed to myself with wonderment how my shopping cart felt like it floated along effortlessly, free-wheeling and quiet—just perfect!  I had strength to do my shopping, and fellow shoppers were extra-nice to me, helping me reach items on top shelves as I engaged them in conversation.  

It was raining steadily as I wheeled my cart with purchases to the car, holding the umbrella aloft.  Suddenly a tall, handsome black man appeared at my left, smiled at me so nicely, and asked, “Where is your car?”  As I pointed to the 2003 champagne colored Chrysler 300 M a few feet away, he said, “I’d like to put your groceries in the car for you.”  For a split second, I wondered if he was for real—if I could trust him—but his face was beautiful and he looked so clean-cut that I replied, “Oh thank you; that’s so kind of you!”  He set his own 2 small bags down on the pavement in the rain (imagine that!) as I popped the trunk.  I help my umbrella over myself and the cart as he unloaded my purchases.  After he closed the trunk, I looked at him and said, “I bless you in Jesus’ Name!  Thank you so much for your kindness!”  He replied with a warm smile, “My pleasure!”  The stranger put the cart away for me, then picked up his own bags, now dripping wet.  Before I got in my car, I saw him walk down the row of cars, and I thought I saw him turn right toward one of the cars, but I don’t recall seeing him get in.

As I drove out of the parking lot, I was suddenly overcome with weeping and could hardly see to drive as the realization of the kindness and goodness of God engulfed me.  It was as if Jesus Himself had helped me, had taken notice of me.  And who’s to say it wasn’t Him?

Then I drove to Staples and was immediately greeted warmly at the door as the assistant promptly directed me to the correct aisle.  I selected my merchandise, and came to the register to pay.  The girl who had greeted me at the door was now at the register with a girl in training.  The cashier enthused, ‘I really like your top with the purple butterflies; you look so cheerful and sunny.  Even your umbrella is pink!”  Turning to the trainee, she remarked, “Look at her – she’s all smiling and happy!  I want to be like her!”  I was slightly taken aback, and the question crossed my mind as to whether they saw something of the previous God encounter at WalMart on me.  I smiled back and answered, “It’s Jesus in me!”  The two quickly got busy doing something else, and I turned and exited the door, praying silently, “Holy Spirit, I bless those two and the seed that was sown in Jesus’ Name.”

After that, I went to Hancock fabrics and it was still raining.  The lady measuring some cloth greeted me right away and said, “I just finished mulching last night, and now God is watering it for me to settle it into place.”  I told her how happy I was for her, and agreed that God was indeed doing the watering for her, and then added, “I just love Him!  He is so good!”  Later, I paid for my purchase and told her, “I bless you in Jesus’ Name!”  I walked to my car with my cup of blessing overflowing.

God bless you, dear reader; may you sow seeds with a cup of blessing everywhere you go!

* All Scripture references are from the New King James Bible unless otherwise noted.

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

A Voice from Prison, Part Four

 In his letter from prison, Brad continues,

“I went to the church service in prison, and guess who was preaching?  It was Pastor David Troxell from Hilltop church where I’d attended for about ten years!  Brother David preached a good message that night, as he always did.  At the end of the message, he pointed his finger right at me and asked, ‘Are you saved, Brad?’  I looked at him and said, ‘I don’t know,’ so he suggested I find out.  So I went to the floor a-praying, and some of the fellows with the pastor got down and prayed with me.  I stayed there praying for awhile, then in my spirit I heard an old familiar voice say, ‘Stand up and scream for victory that you’re saved!’  And wouldn’t you know it, I said within myself, ‘Lord, you’re trying to embarrass me. I’m not screaming in front of all these people!’

But I stood up as I was commanded by the Lord, and when I did, my brothers and sisters, let me tell you that something evil and wicked came out of me when I was screaming.  I felt it all come out of me.  I believe to this day it was a demon or demons.  And then all of a sudden I felt this love, mercy, and grace open up above me and I began to feel the Spirit of God being poured out into my life.  I knew there and then I was truly saved!  I lasted about a year this time with God before I backslid.

God did a lot for me during this time before I backslid.  I was leading people to Jesus: drug addicts, drug dealers, and my family was getting back into church.  But the devil got to me through aggravation this time.  It came with a headache that led me to taking a pain pill.  I’ll never forget what Satan said to me: ‘Do you think God will send you to hell over one little pain pill?’  I answered him and said, ‘No,’ so I took one for my headache and before the end of the day I was drinking and snorting pills again.  But I have to be honest and say my backsliding started way before that.  It started by me missing church every now and then, and I wouldn’t quit smoking cigarettes.  The Lord dealt with me a lot about this; smoking was the hardest addiction I have had to overcome.

Don’t get me wrong—I know I deserve punishment.  I have lost everything during all this.  My family is nowhere to be found most of the time.  I have no contact with any outside friends from home, and I honestly have nowhere to go or anything to do when I get out of prison to go home.

I’m not trying to sell you a sob story; I’m just warning you that because of my sins and wickedness from an early age, it cost me everything in the end.  Even though God dealt with me every step of the way, I kept turning my back on Him.  Without a good relationship with God, life truly is miserable.  But I must also tell you that even though there are consequences to my sins, God has never given up on me!  Amen.

Young men and women, boys and girls, you do not have to learn things the hard way.  People do not always survive to have a story like mine.  As a matter of fact, most people die in the state of mind I was in.  And if I had, I would have lost more than I did: I would be lost for all eternity in a devil’s hell.  At least now I have a change to get it all back.  I believe honestly that God has allowed me to survive all that I have to show others that sin will cost you in the long run, and this is what happens to a backslider.  Trust me, the Bible verses in 2 Peter 2:20-22 are true; my latter end became worse than my beginning. 

This has been the first part of my life story before actually selling out completely to Christ Jesus and sticking with it.  There are many things I did not write or describe in detail.  Why?  Because my life before Christ was meaningless and of no real value.

But I assure you, that is not my life now, nor ever will be again!  I will tell you about my life now.  Even though I am in prison, I am freer than I have ever been.  If you have any questions concerning me or someone like me, and need some helpful info on how to help them, you can write and I will do my best to educate you on how to really help someone like me.

Please remember me in your prayers and pray for my family.  I haven’t heard from my Davenport family in a long time; the last time I heard, they weren’t serving God.  And please remember I am not proud of my past life at all!  But I am proud of how much God has brought me out of.

The best way I can describe my life now, until we meet again, is Psalm 40:2-3:

‘He brought me out of a horrible pit,

Out of a miry clay, and set my feet

Upon a rock, and established my goings.

And He has put a new song in my mouth,

Even praises unto our God.

Many shall see it, and fear, and

Shall trust in the Lord Jesus.  Amen.’

Remember: smart people learn from their own experiences, but wise people learn from the experience of others.

Until we meet again,

Your brother and friend in Christ Jesus,

Brad Davenport”

If you’d like to write Brad (letters or photographs only) to encourage him or ask for help/advice yourself, his address is:

Brad Davenport # 12763-032

Federal Correctional Institution McKean

P.O. Box 8000

Bradford, PA 16701

If the Lord lays it on your heart to send a financial gift to Brad, you must use a money order marked “for Brad Davenport # 1276-032” and mail it to the following address:

Federal Bureau of Prisons

P.O. Box 474701

Des Moines, Iowa, 50947

Thank you for praying for Brad and his family; pray that the Lord will give him a home and gainful employment after he is released.  He’d like to get a ministerial degree and minister in prisons when he’s released. 

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

A Voice from Prison, Part Three

Brad's letter continues,

“When I was about twenty-seven years old, I married a young and beautiful girl named Amber.  I remember thinking that since I’ve tried everything else, maybe marriage would fix me.  But our marriage only lasted one short year.  To be honest with you, I really didn’t love her; I was just trying to fill this void in my heart.  Before we got married, Brother David Troxell of Hilltop Baptist church pulled me outside the church and asked me, “Are you sure you’re supposed to marry this girl?” I looked him right in the eye and lied.  I said, “Yes,” when I knew in my heart I wasn’t supposed to.

Anyway, back to God convicting me of being with Misty without being married.  (This wasn’t the first time I was convicted by God.)  Once when I was with Amanda R, God woke me up in the middle of the night with this same guilt of being in bed with someone I wasn’t married to.  So I got up to go to the couch to sleep, and had this sudden strange urge to read the Bible.  (My mother had left a Bible there when she started going to Hilltop church with the Douglas family and I told her I had gotten saved.) 

I grabbed the Bible and started reading but not understanding anything.  Suddenly I heard the sound of someone coming into the room, so I quickly hid the Bible because I didn’t want anyone to see me reading it.  But no one showed up.  Then I had to use the bathroom, and on the way there, I heard a Man’s voice ask, ‘Why are you hiding Me?’  That really freaked me out.  I went to check on my brother who was in the back bedroom, but he was sound asleep, so I just shook it off and went on to the bathroom.

When I came out of the bathroom and headed back to the couch, I got to the same spot in the kitchen where I’d heard the voice befpre, and again a Man said, louder this time, ‘Why are you hiding Me?’  I don’t really have the words to describe the feelings of this experience; I felt an overwhelming love and joy not of this world.  I stopped in my tracks and all I could do was cry tears of utter joy!  I stood there and wept for I don’t know how long in the presence of the Lord.  I went to the couch and turned on the radio to a Christian station, which soothed my soul.  When Misty awoke, I told her we were quitting drugs and going to church.  To my surprise, she said, “Okay,” so we went a few times.  I remember going to this one church with her and outside I saw some men smoking cigars and thought, ‘Really?  Right on the church steps?’  We went in anyway, but the place was as dead as a grave yard.  So we quit going to church after that.  You guessed it—I went right back to drugs and drinking.

One night, I was sitting there at Misty’s house drinking liquor.  I was pill-sick.  You get flu-like symptoms when your body doesn’t have the drugs it’s used to.  Actually, you can get very sick and this is one of the reasons it’s so hard for addicts to quit.  You have to get sick to get better!  Anyway, I made her give me the keys to her car and I was off to find a pain pill.  I stopped at a BP gas station/store where they had fruit machines and poker machines in the back where you could win money if you got enough points.  I had fifteen dollars to my name, and tried my luck with the poker machine, because I didn’t have money to get my fix.  Of course, I lost all my money and now I was drunk and mad.  So I devised a plan that I would tell the cashier I hit on the machine, and when the cashier walked back to the machines, I would grab the cash register and flee the scene.

Well, I did all that and after I got down the road a ways, I discovered the cash register had seven hundred dollars in it, so now I could get my Oxycontin drug.  I found a pill and was feeling better, but I knew I was in for it if the law caught up to me.  By now the sun was coming up, so I figured I better call Misty and tell her I was at a friend’s house and tell her to come over.

While she was on her way, my friend wanted to trade me a sawed-off shot gun for a pill. I didn’t really want the shot gun, but told him I would do it if he waited on Misty and snorted the pill with her.  When she got there, I put the gun under the back seat of the car, and we left to do God only knows what, but we got pulled over at the end of the road.  The cops found the gun, and I said it was mine.  The reason I’m sitting here in Federal prison is that possessing a sawed-off shot gun is a Federal offense.  I’ve been in custody about seven years now.

Photo by seraphicpress.com 

What I want you to see is how Satan got me when I was young and raped me of my life.  Sin will cost you more than you want to pay, and keep you longer than you want to stay.  God is a Gentleman: He never makes us serve Him. He’s looking for sons and daughters.  I kept choosing to go the opposite way every time He dealt with me, and my life got worse and worse because I wouldn’t do what was right.

The year was 2005, and there I was in jail at the age of twenty-seven.  I started having these dreams of being in hell, and I would wake up in cold sweats and shaking.  I said to God, “What do you want me to do?”  I felt He wanted me to go to church there in jail, so I did.”

To be continued…

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

A Voice from Prison, Part Two

Here is part two of Brad Davenport’s letter from prison.

“I picked up a lot of bad habits when I started running around with my dad.  And that wasn’t the only bad part: I shared those bad habits with others.  But the crazy thing about it, God was always around in the back of my mind.  He never really went away even though I did.

During my addiction process, I joined the Navy at age eighteen only to get kicked out when I was twenty because I drank too much alcohol.  I went home, worked in saw mills and eventually learned how to build log homes.  I had a natural God-given talent to be able to build things out of wood.  With this job, I traveled to different parts of America, but mostly stayed on the East coast where I made most of my money.  My addiction followed me the whole time.  Trust me, you can find drugs anywhere.  I’d come home with a pocket full of money, only to spend it all on booze, drugs, and women.   

Year by year, I got worse and worse.  I was drinking every chance I got, taking pain pills and shooting cocaine.  My dad finally went to prison for eleven years, but even when he was out of my life, I got no better.  I actually got worse, because now I felt all alone.  Not only had I lost my dad, I lost my best friend too, because I was into drugs too much for him.

So I would look for anyone to take away my loneliness and started sleeping around a lot until I met Amanda R.  For some reason, I really liked her, so we started shacking up.  I tried to become a real man, only to fall time after time; she never left me, although I don’t know why.  I began to feel like the Lord told me to marry her, but I never did.  Once again, the drug addiction won, and after five years, she left me.  To this day, I can’t blame her, and she should have left a lot sooner than she did because I became very abusive toward her.  I was no good—not fit to be a boyfriend or a husband.  When she left me, she was afraid of me.  Our washing machine was broken, and one day she said she was going to do laundry at a friend’s house.  I said “okay;” but as you probably guessed by now, she only took her clothes and never returned.

I was in my twenties going through all this.  Her leaving affected me deeply; I had lost my dad, and now the girl I truly loved.  My life had hit rock bottom.  I was out of work and out of places and people to go to.  I started having thoughts of suicide, and I did cut my wrist a few times.  I was in and out of psychiatric places.  I thought I was crazy, and then I met some really crazy people!  I wasn’t crazy: I was lonely and depressed, trying to fill my heart with things and people of this world.  It only brought temporary happiness clouded with sin of every kind. 

After I got through the suicide stage, I started hanging out with worse people than before.  I started shooting a lot of cocaine and became a needle junkie, which is something I thought would never happen in a million years.  When I was young, I used to tell my mom I was going to grow up and get a good job and take care of her so she’d never have to worry again.  I told her I would never be like Dad, but now not only was I like my dad, I was worse than he.

Photo from bensingerdupont.com 

I ran around getting high all the time and sleeping with anyone that would have me.  During this time I contracted Hepatitis-C, which is a liver disease.  I got it through dirty needles, using them after other people.  But honestly I didn’t know if I had Hep-C or not until I came to prison: I didn’t even care enough about myself to worry about it.  

I was in and out of jail I don’t know how many times, and every time I would turn to God to save me and make Him a million promises if He would only let me out of jail.  And every time He would.  And every time, I lied.  So it’s no wonder I’m sitting here in Federal prison with 210 months of time.

Right before I came to prison, I was shacking up with this girl named Misty, and I would stay at my cousin’s house a lot too.  He let me stay in a camper that had all the accommodations of a house, and I worked for him digging graves.  Yes!  Grave-digging.  Actually, there was money in it—believe it or not.  But once again God was there.  Every time I helped dig the grave, I knew this was where I would be one day.  Sometimes I helped families lower the dead bodies of loved ones into the grave, too.  And I always wondered, “Did this person make it to heaven, or did they end up in hell?”  

Mostly I worked for my cousin to make pill money.  I had quit cocaine by this time, but was now severely hooked on pain pills.  Out of all the drugs, this one gripped me the most.  I honestly thought I couldn’t function without them, and of course, Misty was hooked on them too.  She also liked downers like Xanax and Valium a lot, but I didn’t really care for them.  She was my girlfriend/pill-popping partner.  Not a good combination for a relationship—trust me!  At times it was weird.  She’d be lying asleep next to me there in bed and this feeling of guilt would come over me for being in bed with her to the point I would go lie on the couch. God was letting me know I shouldn’t be in bed with her because we were not married.

To be continued…

Copyright ©2015 Elaine Beachy

A Voice from Prison, Part One

How did I come to know a prisoner named Brad Davenport?  And why would I write to a prisoner anyway?  Here’s how it happened.

In late October, 2010, I happened to be watching Daystar TV when Marcus and Joni Lamb mentioned a prayer request for a minister friend of theirs named John who had been wrongly accused, tried, and found guilty of something he absolutely did not do.  He had been friends with Marcus and Joni for years, and Marcus made a plea by television that day for viewers to send John a card of encouragement, and put the address on the screen.  (I mean, can you imagine yourself unjustly convicted and imprisoned?)

The Lord laid it on my heart for me and Dave to send him a card and to start writing to him November 1, 2010, and I’ve written to him steadily for 4 ½ years.

One day I opened John’s letter, and a letter fell out from Brad Davenport, John’s cell mate.  In it, Brad told me John had been helping him with his Christian life in prison, and asked me if I’d write to him too. So, I’ve been writing to Brad for several years as well.  Recently, he expressed his longing to be able to make a difference outside the prison walls as well as inside, where he leads a Bible study and prays for men.  John was moved to a different prison a couple of years ago in a different state, but I continue to write Brad as well.

I told Brad I write a blog and invited him to share anything he would like with the world.  So he wrote me a missive that I’ll be sharing with you in several posts, and I’ll honor his request to re-write the structure and flow for him.  (Oh, and just so you know, Brad is not allowed to receive anything directly from anyone—not even postage stamps—except letters and photos.  It has to come from a place like Amazon.com, or a magazine subscription, etc.  If you wish, financial gifts can be sent via money order to Federal Bureau of Prisons, P.O. Box 474701, Des Moines, Iowa, 50947 for Brad Davenport # 12763-032.)

Brad sent me this plain paper picture last summer.  He identified himself as "Me" in the back row.

And now, here’s Brad.

Brad Davenport

Reg. # 12763-032

Federal Correctional Institution McKean

P.O. Box 8000

Bradford, PA 16701

March 30, 2015

“Hello Friends and Christian family,

My name is Brad Davenport from Kentucky, and I’m currently in Federal custody at F.C.I McKean, Pennsylvania.  I’ve been locked up since 2008.  I know in my heart God has called me to minister, since He has dramatically changed my life through Christ Jesus and Holy Spirit.

I would like to share some of my life with you all, hoping my testimony will help you with your walk with Christ.  And if you don’t know Him (Jesus Christ) as your personal Savior and Lord, just maybe my testimony will help you want to know Him and have a healthy relationship with Him.  I have a heart for prison ministry and of course our future generation; children stay on my heart and mind a lot. I hope that even children can get something out of my testimony that will encourage them to pursue God with all their hearts.  Please keep Matthew 9:13 in mind as you read my story.  Jesus says “He came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”  And friends and family, we have all fallen short of the glory of God in some shape, form or fashion.  See Romans 3:23.

Let me start at the beginning.  I was born in July of 1977 and raised as a country boy in McCreary Co., Kentucky.  I spent a lot of my time outdoors—hunting, fishing, playing in the woods, barns, etc. 

My parents were poor, but honestly, I was happy, even though I didn’t have everything others had.  I was very free-spirited and did pretty much as I pleased, which led me into a lot of my troubles.  My parents weren’t very good at discipline.  My mother was born without hip sockets and has been crippled all her life; she walked funny and couldn’t run after us kids.  I have a sister Amanda, and a younger brother, Chris; I am the oldest.

My dad was and still is a party person, always drinking and doing drugs of every kind.  He hung out with his friends: bikers, mafia people, and local drunks.  So as I grew up, I met all kinds of people.  Dad was into selling drugs and everything else you could imagine.  But I have to be honest: he was never abusive to any of us kids; he and Mom fought a lot, though.  He would slap her and stuff.  And of course, once I was old enough, I would jump in when he started in on her.  He quit hitting her once I was grown, ‘cause he knew I wouldn’t allow him to hit her anymore.

But once I got to my sixteenth birthday, he and I started hanging out a lot together.  I thought it was cool to go a lot of places with him I should not have gone, doing grown-up stuff.  I thought I was just becoming a man.  So during this time, Dad allowed me to drink beer, liquor, smoke pot and snort cocaine, and “crank” with him.  So by the time I was eighteen, I was already a drunk and hooked on drugs.  Some of my friends thought I had the coolest dad; I just thought it was normal.

I was introduced to sex during all of this; my dad had no respect for women except for one: my grandmother, his mom.  Trust me: biker guys are not nice to their women!  I was taught women were made to be seen and not heard and some other things I won't write about.

Did I believe in God during all of this?  My answer might surprise you.  Yes, I actually did!  Sometimes during my childhood my mother would get involved with different religious stuff.  She went to a Mormon church for awhile and talked with Jehovah’s Witnesses.  When I went to my grandmother’s house (my dad’s mom), she always had a big white Bible on the coffee table.  And sometimes someone there would say something about God.

So yes, I believed there was a God, but my first real encounter with God was when I was about twelve or thirteen.  We lived beside the Douglas family and they were church people.  I befriended their son, Jimmy, who became like my older brother.  His step-dad, Nick, invited me to a home service at one of his friends’ house across town.  And since Jimmy’s cousin, Donnie, was going, I figured I would, too.  While I was there I heard them play what they called “gospel music.”  It was amazing and I felt the power in it right away.  And then I realized we didn’t just come to visit—they were expecting to do Christian stuff.

While Donnie and I were sitting there listening to them play music, the older men explained the way of salvation through Jesus to us.  I looked over at Donnie and saw he was crying.  They asked him if he would like to be saved, and he said “Yes,” so they prayed with him.  Then they turned to me and asked me the same question; of course I said “Yes” to Jesus and whatever else they said.

As soon as we were done with getting saved, we went outside to mess around, and my temptation started immediately.  There was this girl about our age who lived next door; we got started talking about kissing, and wouldn’t you know, I kissed her, even though I knew it was wrong.  But honestly, I didn’t “feel saved” as they called it.  So we went back to the Douglas’ home, got out of the car, I headed home.  (We lived in an old beat-up 80’ long single wide trailer, but it was home to me.  And to tell you the truth, I miss it to this day!)

When I entered my yard, I began to feel really light and happy.  I thought I was going to literally walk off the earth! I felt as if I could fly!  When I entered the front door, my mom asked where I’d been.  When I told her I went and got saved, she just looked at me funny and said something like, “Good.”  And then I just went to my room.  But from that moment on, I knew God and Jesus were for real!

I didn’t keep going to church, but went with the Douglas family every now and then to a Baptist church called “Hilltop.”  It was nice, and the preacher there was something else; he could sure do some preaching.  I haven’t heard anyone like him yet, to be honest with you.  I used to go up front sometimes and repent, only to fall away again.”

To be continued…

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy

Softly in My Heart

Mom, you’re smart.

At age ninety

You play Scrabble on an i-Pad

With multiple players.

Board Scrabble with Auntie

Word Find and jigsaw puzzles

Keep your brain flourishing.

Mom, you are love to me.

Growing up,

You were my best friend

As we worked together

And shared hugs

In the kitchen;

We cooked, baked,

And listened to Unshackled

Every Saturday

On radio station WCKY 

Out of Cincinnati, Ohio.

I remember the day

I heard the story

Of a man

On skid row

And the Holy Spirit

Showed me

I was no better

In God’s eyes

Than he.

That revelation

Has shaped much

Of who I am today.

A skilled homemaker,

You made our home

A warm haven of peace,

With a focus on Jesus.

I remember the special times

Of Bible reading and prayer

In the living room after supper.

You encouraged my interest in music

With a pump organ

And Auntie’s accordion

Even though money was tight.

When Dave started dating me

You fixed delicious snacks for us

Sunday nights after church.

Always friendly and understanding,

You made my brothers

Scoot to bed

So we could be alone in the living room.

You taught me to value

Sexual purity

And I passed it on

To my children.

There’s just no one like a mother

To love, teach, encourage,

Or wipe away a tear

As I struggled

To learn to read.

There’s just no one like a mother

Who reads Bible stories

To the children

At her knee.

I admire you so much, Mom.

You are a shining example

Of a godly woman

Whose price is far above rubies.

Always faithful 

To husband 

And family,

You’ve given me a legacy

Of what’s important

In life.

I hold you softly in my heart.

Copyright © 2015 Elaine Beachy