Lady of the House

As a follow-up to the previous post, I want to talk today about a Scripture that has helped me in relating to my husband.  I am well aware that this flies in the face of our current feminist culture in America.  But God's Word is still God's Word: the truth.  Submitting to the Truth is what honors God and lets Him work in our relationships and all that concerns us.

For the sake of context, I will quote the entire verse of Ephesians 5:33 from the Amplified Bible.  The Apostle Paul was talking about how the marriage between a man and a woman typifies Christ and the Church, for he says in verse 25 and 26, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word."  That whole passage is so good, but I won't take the space to write it out here.

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.]

I Peter 3: 1-2 agrees:  "In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, when they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct ourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him -- to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize,and, in the human sense,to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]."

Relate this to how we'd treat Jesus if he were here in the flesh.  Wouldn't we want to be all those things to Jesus?  Maybe one reason we women have trouble being this way to our husbands is that we don't esteem Jesus the way we should, don't esteem His Word.  (Jesus is called "the Word" in Scripture).  Many women (and men) even attempt to change the Word to make it fit their preferences and selfish desires.  An obedient life is a life blessed by God.  Submission is a dirty word in many circles, but we need a proper understanding of it and order our lives accordingly.

I found it very helpful to understand what the Holy Spirit means by "reverence" for my husband.  It simply means I:

1.  Notice him -- look at him when he speaks or enters a room; learn to read his signals

2.  Prefer him -- give him the best slice of meat, the biggest piece of dessert, the un-chipped glass

3.  Venerate him -- regard him with respect

4.  Esteem him -- set a high value on him

5.  Defer to him -- let him make the final decision on a matter after you've given your input

6.  Praise him -- compliment him privately and in public; brag on him

7.  Adore him -- be extremely fond of him and honor him

8.  Love him -- have a warm attachment and devotion to him

9.  Admire him -- marvel at him, regard him with admiration

10.  Be devoted to him -- be loyal to him; set your heart apart from all others for him

11.  Enjoy him -- have a good time with him; play with him

12.  Prize him -- consider him as one who is exceptionally desirable

One might think, "But wouldn't I be lying if I obeyed these things when I don't see my husband as worthy of my honor or feel "reverence" for him?"

Consider that God's Word says if your husband is acting like a "bone-head," he will be won over by the way you treat him.

I think right now of the movie "Fireproof" and the book called "The Love Dare".  God's Word says that by choosing to act a certain way, it's possible to change both your feelings and your husband's behavior.  It's called "giving grace" where it's not deserved.  That's how God treats us.  A lot of food for thought here.

My story titled "House of Cards" on this blog raises these questions as Monique wonders how she can submit to a husband who is living a bad lifestyle.  Obviously, if a woman (or man) is in physical danger or being abused, there needs to be a separation from the situation.  But I would still say the wife must not denegrate her husband to others publicly or in private.  A woman of prayer never fails.  God can change any husband if we women will submit to follow God's instructions.

Anti-cultural, I know; but I'm sticking with the Word of God.

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy