Relationships and Holidays

Thanksgiving Day.  The last family members had left after farewells and hugs were exchanged.  Caroline tucked her hair behind her right ear and wiped a stray tear from her cheek as she put the last plate into the dishwasher.  She added the detergent, clicked the door shut and pushed the start button.   A persistent lump rose in her throat as she thought about past Thanksgiving Days.  Why couldn't Clark just agree to disagree with Paul and Theresa?  Why did they always end up in an argument?  Last year, Paul and Theresa left without saying "goodbye," and this year they had refused to come.  If Clark would only call and apologize to them. . .   If only Paul and Theresa wouldn't be so touchy and easily offended. . .

Do you look forward to Thanksgiving Day with your relatives?  Or do you dread the thought of being under the scrutiny of Aunt Susie once again?  Do you look for an excuse to avoid the family get-together?  Maybe you haven't spoken to your brother for a long time because he hurt your feelings.  Or perhaps you feel a parent has wronged you, and you don't plan to ever go home again for Thanksgiving.  Christmas either, for that matter.  Brother, sister, mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, cousin, aunt, uncle: does it matter who it is?

Grudges and ill will exist and thrive in many families.  And that's a shame, because the family unit should be pleasant: a place of warmth and acceptance, love and forgiveness, peace and unity.  Not pain, hatred, heated arguments or strained silence.  God knows there is enough pain out there in the world without getting a dose of it from your own family. So you stay away.  Yet your heart aches a bit more with each passing holiday as the chasm of separation widens.  

I think of the Scripture in James 4:1 "What causes fights and quarrels among you?  Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?"  Every one of us is prone to self-interest and self-preservation.

Good relationships take work and sometimes lots of prayer.  Friendship and unity have to be preserved, or they deteriorate.  It takes soul-searching honesty and humility of heart to reach out in a strained relationship to bring restoration.

Is God speaking to your heart about a difficult person in your family?  Ask God what you can do to reach out to someone in your family and help restore peace and unity.  Whether you were the one offended, or whether you offended someone, peace has to start with you.  Don't wait for the other person.  The most spiritual person goes first, you know.

• Begin to thank God for each person in your family -- even the difficult ones.
• Ask God to pour out His Spirit in his/her life.
• Ask God to give them wisdom and revelation for their life.
• Pray for their salvation if they are not born again.
• Ask God for a fresh baptism of love in your own heart for them.
• Ask yourself, "Have I contributed negatively to this strained relationship?"
• Ask God to show you what you can do to change that and reach out to them.
• Believe God is working in that person right now.
• Believe God is at work in you too!

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."  Matthew 5:9
"How good and pleasant it is when brothers live in unity!"  Psalm 133:1

May this Thanksgiving Day on November 22 be the best yet!  May you have a truly Blessed Thanksgiving!

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy