Violence Among The Young

“We were bored.”  Such was the reason given by two teenagers who shot and killed a man.  Another report said they wanted to be famous.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing yesterday when I turned on my TV and heard the shocking news.  Surely it was a bad joke.  But no. 

Three teens in a vehicle had followed twenty-two year old Christopher Lane and shot him in the back as he was minding his own business, enjoying a jog along a road in Duncan, Oklahoma.  He was here in the United States on a baseball scholarship at East Central University. 

On probation, fifteen-year-old James Francis Edwards Jr, had been in court that very day to sign papers related to his previous run-in with the law.  He and sixteen-year-old Chancey Allen Luna were charged as adults with first degree murder.  A third teen who allegedly drove the vehicle, seventeen-year old Michael Jones, was also arrested and bond set at $1 million.

The Facebook sites of these three teenagers showed they idolized musicians of violent rap music.  Sky News reported that investigators found this message on one of the alleged killer’s Facebook pages: “Bang.  Two drops in two hours.”  Apparently these three young men were on a killing spree.  The mother of the sixteen-year old said he and his two friends were part of a “wannabe gang,” but said her son was not a killer.*

These kids are sons, grandsons, and nephews.  What went wrong? Were they in search of significance? What was their home life like?  Did they have loving and caring families?  Somehow, I have a hard time picturing that.  Were the parents so self-absorbed and engrossed in their work/careers that they left their sons to fend for themselves?  Did they consider their children hopelessly uncontrollable?  Did violent video games play a part in creating such a callous mind-set?  Did those rap music heroes poison the minds and create a desire to act out what they were hearing day after day?  Did the parents know or care what their sons were listening to and posting on Facebook?  

One thing we know for sure: something turned their lives down the wrong path.  It’s just heart-breaking. 

And one can’t blame the gun laws.  There are laws a-plenty on the books against teens and criminals having guns, but they have them anyway.  Criminals always find ways to get guns.  To say a gun is to blame for this crime is like saying a rope is responsible for a lynching.  Do we need to outlaw ropes, too?  How about rocks, knives, high buildings and bridges, cars, planes, etc?  No—people are responsible for their actions, regardless of whatever is at their disposal or what weapon they use or how they behave in public and private.

Parenting is hard work.  No one said it was easy.  It takes diligence; it takes engaging in discipline when you’d rather just “let it slide” this time, because you don’t have the energy or want to take the time to correct your children.  It takes following through with instructions given and consequences for disobedience.  If you love your children, you’ll know and care about who your kids hang out with.  You’ll care about what they watch on TV, at the movies, on YouTube, or what music they listen to; you’ll teach them to be honest and trustworthy.  Of course, the precursor is that you as a parent are a good example yourself.  Care about your children; take an interest in them, honor them as little people created in the image of God.  It takes nipping undesirable traits in the bud.  Little things turn into big things down the road of life.

Be firm when you have to say “No” to a request, but be careful to choose your battles and think prayerfully before issuing consequences.  Don’t just automatically say “No” when you don’t want to be bothered with a request.  Say “Yes” as often as you can conscientiously do so.

Find good things for your kids to be involved in: sports, music, art classes, church youth group activities, volunteering at a homeless shelter, etc.  Encourage them to get a job mowing the neighbor’s grass for some spending money.   Give them responsibilities around the house and yard.  Have fun together – go on a picnic or go hiking. Talk honorably with your teens.  Let your child know he should be a pace-setter, a leader rather than a follower of what everyone else is doing. 

Most important of all, be a committed Christian and lead him into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Set your teen's sights high; declare God’s goodness over his life.  Your children need to know God cares about them and needs them to make a difference for good in this world. 

Growing up I heard the phrase, “Idleness is the devil’s workshop.”  In the case of this murder, the words, “We were bored,” certainly gives credence to that saying.

I think of the scripture, “The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.”  Proverbs 29:15 (KJV) and, “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.”  I Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

The other day I sent a little inspirational e-mail to my grandchildren who have e-mail accounts, and I think it conveys my additional thoughts well.  Here is a partial copy and paste:

In some ways our lives are like a garden. I think the soil is like our heart, right? The kind of seed we sow in that soil will sprout and push tiny shoots above the ground. The more we feed and water that seed, the taller it grows.

Our thoughts are like seeds we sow. I thought of a quote by Margaret Thatcher, Britain’s first female Prime Minister years ago:

“Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words for they become actions.
Watch your actions for they become habits.
Watch your habits for they become your character.
And watch your character for it becomes your destiny.
What we think, we become.
My father always said that... and I think I am fine.”

― Margaret Thatcher

I think that’s a good motto to live by, don’t you? I like it myself. To keep weeds out of the garden of our heart, we need to destroy thoughts before they have a chance to take root, and then plant good thoughts instead. Thoughts become words, and the words we say steer our lives like the rudder on a ship, as the Bible says in James 3:2-12. Isn’t that amazing?

Enough said.

God bless you, dear reader!

*Source: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/08/21/police-say-teen-shot-australian-student-in-oklahoma-for-fun-it/

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy