I have a special place in my heart for my distant cousin and high school teacher, Kenton Yoder , whom I affectionately
call my “third son.” He and our children went to school together and have always been close friends. Although we live separated by 150 miles, Kenton
comes to Virginia
to visit several times a year and has been part of our family vacations for a
number of years. He is such a blessing
to our family.
Kenton shares my concern and love for the next generation,
and his actions prove it. My “third son”
has “done me proud!” Let me explain.
My first grandchild, Alissa Rose, turned sweet sixteen on
August 3, 2013. Amid the celebration, I
was shown an e-mail she received from her “honorary uncle.”
I e-mailed Kenton and asked his permission to publish his
beautiful letter: he said “yes.” I also
asked my granddaughter’s permission (and received it) to have her name used. The following is what I wrote Kenton in my
request:
“When I read your e-mail to her, I had tears in my eyes,
because I could feel the love and care you had in your heart for her
(Alissa). I want to thank you from the
bottom of my heart for investing in her life – taking the time to write such a
lovely thing!
As a grandmother, it fills my heart with much thankfulness
to God for placing you in her life. The
generations need each other; indeed, that was to have been the subject of my
next blog post… No doubt your words will stay with her forever. That e-mail is better than anything you could
have bought for her. I am forever
grateful for that!”
Without further ado, I present to you the priceless e-mail
letter from my honorary son to my granddaughter Alissa:
Dear Alissa,
Happy 16th
Birthday, my Honorary Niece! I wonder if you would permit me to talk with you a
bit about some things that would perhaps be difficult and awkward for me to
mention if we were face-to-face, because they are so important and personal.
There are so
many things about you that I enjoy and appreciate. Your whole-hearted enjoyment
of the activities you engage in, your lack of pretentiousness, your athleticism
and grace in gymnastics, your musical ability, your intelligence, your
laughter, your good relationship with Nicole....
God has blessed
you with so many gifts and with one very special gift that is becoming
vanishingly rare in the U.S.
I don’t know
anything (good or bad) about your friends. I was fortunate when I was your age
to have friends like your dad, your Uncle Kevin, and your Uncle Doug. They were
friends that made me want to become a better person than I was to be worthy of
their respect, approval, and honor. Be friendly and kind and polite to
everyone, especially to those who lack friends, but surround yourself with
friends that you can “live up to,” that make you want to be a better person.
Why make your life harder by often being around those who encourage you to do
things that are wrong or dishonorable? You are so beautiful in heart and mind
and body, you are like the clean, bright flash of a sword in the sunlight. But
a sword left in the mud will become dim and dull and rusty. It would grieve me
if you let “mud” soil your soul.
One of the
hardest things for anyone to do when pressed by a close friend to do that which
is wrong is to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It would hurt God, my parents,
and me. Please don’t ask me again.” It makes you feel like a pious prig, as if
you were claiming to be better than your friend, and of course you know in your
heart that that isn’t really so, that you struggle with sin and temptation just
as much as any of your friends. It would be so easy just to go along, not make
a fuss. But if you honor God, God will honor you, and it may surprise you the
respect and honor you will gain in the eyes of your friends. Going along with
evil is always easier and more comfortable, but it will NEVER earn you the true
respect of your peers (at least not from any person whose respect you want). I
want to encourage you to be the kind of person that your friends can come to
for help and advice. If you are drowning, you don’t ask help of the person who
is sinking beside you, but from someone who is standing on the bank and can
throw you a rope.
Lastly, be a
good friend. Guard your tongue. God says it is the hardest thing in the world
to tame. Work on finding kind and genuine complimentary things to say about
people. Resist the temptation to criticize people who aren’t there; instead
shift the conversation to something else. Talking about someone behind her back
and not being discreet with secrets that you know are great ways to ruin
friendships and lose their trust and confidence.
I am afraid that
I have left you with the impression that I do not trust you or that I am afraid
for you. This is not so. But having seen you begin so well, I want to see you
run the rest of your race with joy and peace and freedom with the fresh wind in
your face. Not burdened with regrets and might-have-beens.
I hope you enjoy
this next year. 16 for me was a great year, and they just kept getting better
into my twenties. I hope you find that to be true in your life as well. More
things to enjoy, deeper friendships, more freedom, lots of happy memories.
Again, best birthday wishes to you.
Your Honorary
Uncle,
Kenton
A marketing slogan from Hallmark Cards comes to mind: “When
you care enough to send the very best!”
Thank you, Kenton, for living out that Hallmark slogan and for allowing
me to publish your beautifully-written sentiments.
Every child should have a person like Kenton, besides their
parents, who will speak into his life. Together
we can build a fortress against the evil one who comes to steal, kill, and
destroy. How could you speak into the
life of a young person in your circle of influence?
God bless you, dear reader!
Copyright © 2013
Elaine Beachy
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