Thursday, January 26, 2012

Raising Kids -- Not Your Voice

"You're not gonna tell me what to do!"

"Yes I am!  I'm the parent, and you'll do as you're told!  Now get in there and clean your room!"

"You are not the boss of me; you're not even my mom!"  (Often used in blended families).

I would imagine most parents have been in similar situations one way or another.  And knew the stress and heartache such an attitude produces in the home.  The fighting, bickering, dragging the feet in compliance.  A parent's weary heart.  Feelings of failure and seeing no way off the merry-go-round of yelling, demanding, threats of punishment, and a child who goes his own way in spite of it all.  Out-of-control behavior.

I'm reminded of Kevin Lehman's book "Have a New Kid by Friday" that teaches parents how to properly train their children in a godly way.  How to let them suffer the consequences of their own choices.  The child soon learns that his choices affect his life if the parents "stick to their guns" and refuse to bail them out.

For example, Suzie is to have her science project done by Monday, but despite her parents' promptings, has spent her weekend reading an exciting new book instead.  Sunday afternoon, the parent asks if Suzie has done her project.  Now Suzie panics and begs for her parents' help.  (Which means she really wants them to do the work for her). 

The parent has two choices here: try to save the good family name by giving in (rescuing her), doing most of the project for her, or refuse to let her control them, and let their daughter get an "F". 

Choices have consequences.

Here's a YouTube video link to hear Kevin give an overview of a seminar on how to have a new kid in 5 days.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJWlHywSKA0

If you don't have Kevin's book mentioned here, I would encourage you to do yourself a favor and get it.  You'll be glad you did.  The same principles work for teenagers.

A prayer from my heart: "Father God, I speak Your blessing over every parent reading this blog.  Help them be godly parents, give them courage, strength and unity as a couple.  Give them humility to be taught by You and to make changes in their home that please You.  May they be "God pleasers" and not "children pleasers".   I pray that their children shall be obedient, respectful, kind and pleasant.  And I pray Your order, Your peace upon their home, in Jesus' Name."


P.S.  I intended to write this post on a slightly different subject, but this is what came out instead. :o)

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

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