Saturday, May 17, 2014

Up To Here


No, it’s probably not what you think.  The expression “I’ve had it up to here!” usually pertains to a person or situation that irritates them until they feel like blowing their stack.  Some people “have it up to here” another way – with “stuff.”

Several years ago, I watched a TV show about extreme hoarders and their compulsion to surround themselves with “stuff.”  At the request of a loved one, a consultant was brought in to help that one get their home straightened out, get psychological help, and learn to do without so much “stuff.”  I watched in fascinated revulsion at the scenes before my eyes.  I couldn’t believe anyone could live in such a pigsty. 

Kitchens had filth and grime on every surface, with piles in every corner.  The stove as well as the sink was piled high with unwashed dishes and cook pots encrusted with weeks of dried-on food that threatened to topple at any moment.  The kitchen table was piled high with stacks of mail and remains of the last meal.  Even the chairs held piles of “stuff.”

I saw room after room with barely a path to walk through.  Clothes, many with tags still attached, were stacked hip-high along both sides of the path to the next room.  There was no place to sit, unless one threw more things onto the already-littered floor.  Take-out Styrofoam containers with half-eaten food and plastic eating utensils littered the coffee table.  Clothes were strewn over arm chairs, the sofa, and a desk top.  Candy wrappers, empty chip bags, crumbled pieces of paper and mail found a home among the dirty clothes, making mammoth mountains of misery.  Only the TV screen was free of clutter.

The master bedroom had one path to the disheveled king size bed that was covered with dirty linens.  Piles of wrinkled laundry sat in baskets waiting to be folded or put away.  I won’t even discuss the bathroom.

The consultant who was brought in rented a huge warehouse and organized a gigantic community yard sale to get rid of the “stuff.”  My mouth gaped in amazement as I saw that warehouse filled with one family’s things.  The consultant’s team brought out things from the garage, the shed, the attic and the basement and their cars.  More than once, rotten boards and moldy drywall from years of un-ventilated storage were discovered as things were cleared out.

Hoarding and clutter are first cousins.  What soul condition brings about such a lifestyle?  Perhaps the fear of not having enough, due to lack experienced in childhood is an emotional cause.  The need to feel loved, valued, and comforted can also lead to hoarding, because these poor souls see “things” as comforting.

Laziness and procrastination also produce clutter.  Clutter starts by feeling too lazy, tired, or overwhelmed to take action: he/she doesn't want to clean up and put things away. It’s easier to throw a sweater on the floor along with the keys, purse and mail than to put each in its proper place immediately.  People who are easily distracted procrastinate.  Something else looks more interesting or demanding, and they go do that.”  So they don’t steward properly the first thing they were doing.

A person’s loved one who has died may find it difficult to throw things away because of the need to keep that feeling of “love connection.”  An impossible situation develops when feelings of grief and obligation become paramount in keeping a deceased loved one’s memory alive by holding on to their belongings.

A good solution that honors the memory of a parent or loved one is to take pictures of everything and place them neatly in a scrap book.  You show much more honor and respect to their memory that way than if you allow their unneeded things to clutter your house.  Or, to make room, you may wish to sell some of your own items and keep theirs.

Some people keep “helpful” clutter just in case a neighbor needs to borrow one of ten drills the husband stores in the garage, for example.  Or they keep things “just in case” they may ever need them.  We keep clothes that are too small, hoping to someday get back into them.  By the time we lose the weight (if ever), the style is outdated or no longer appeals to us.  Our tastes in clothing do change over time.  Give away clothes you can’t wear. 

Many Americans (perhaps other cultures too) buy big houses and strain their budgets to keep up with the Joneses; we foolishly buy bigger houses with more rooms in order to store more “stuff.”  Beware: it can easily lead to credit card debt and financial clutter.  

A burgeoning calendar of activities is another form of clutter.  You can buy a calendar with bigger squares to write more “stuff” on it, but we each only get twenty-four hours in a day.  Learn to say “no” to some activities, and instead, invest in time spent with your family.  Above all, one needs to have quiet time with God to meditate on His Word and pray. 

Trashy speech is mouth clutter.  Do we gossip, use profanity, speak in anger, or simply just talk too much?  Have you ever been in a social setting around someone who talks constantly?  It wearies the soul.   

Then there’s intellectual clutter.  We can be addicted to the stock market, news and politics, memorize sports stats and scores, follow movie stars or singers, etc.  Curtail information overload.  Constant controversy and arguments are also clutter.  (Picture your brain in the same condition as the house I described above.)  

Relationships can become cluttered too.  Sometimes to preserve the boundaries of your person-hood, it becomes necessary to set limits on the amount of access people have to your life.  Don’t become a doormat or a “yes-man.”  Don’t give of yourself out of obligation or compulsion.  It will clutter your life with unhealthy emotions.  I Corinthians 9:7 says everyone should give what he decides in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver.

Where do I need to "clean house?"  When we leave clutter and hoarding behind, we say “yes” to a clean heart and home for ourselves.  We make room to live life to the fullest!

Happy de-cluttering, dear reader!




Copyright © 2014 Elaine Beachy

3 comments:

  1. I never thought about the application of the 1 Corinthians passage to my personal relationships. What a helpful concept! Thank you, Elaine.

    Kenton

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    1. You're welcome, Kenton, and thanks for your comment. I think most of don't think of that aspect. It makes all the difference in relationships to do things with a "want-to" and cheerful attitude. That being said, there is also a scriptural place for us to have boundaries with people who place a demand on our time and help, and we can be cheerful and have a "want-to" to say "No" then as well. You've given me an idea for another blog post, Kenton. Thank you! :)

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