Dating Then and Now

This Simply Said design is in our bedroom

Our culture sure is different now from what it was when my husband and I were dating.  For one thing, both of were raised in a Mennonite culture where we didn’t have television or go to the movies, or even go bowling or play pool for that matter.  Dave’s and my parents were both farmers, so we knew the value of hard work and were kept busy.  

Dave and I started casual dating when we were 17, and then when he was 19, he went into Voluntary Service for two years.  I saw him only once during that time when he came home for a visit.  Mom and Dad told me I couldn’t get married before I was 21, and I think that’s a very good idea.  When I was young, it was very rare for a couple to break up after they started dating, because we took dating seriously and believed you only chose someone to date whom you’d wish to marry.    

Our dates consisted of going to church together on a Sunday evening, and coming back to our farm house afterwards.  Mom would fix us some lemonade, or cake and ice cream, or popcorn, and then we’d spend time doing a jigsaw puzzle or playing a game with the family present.  When the family went to bed, we’d sit in the living room and listen to records such as “The Norman Luboff Choir, Gospel Guitar, Sons of the Pioneers,” or Ralph Platt’s album, “The Birds Sing His Praise.”  (I remember at least one time one of my four brothers sneaked downstairs and looked around the corner to peek at us.) J 

We would hold hands as we sat on the couch together, and we were 6 months into dating before Dave kissed me on the forehead and I kissed him back on the cheek as he stood in the doorway to leave at 10:00 p.m..  He said he “floated” home that night! J  To be loved is indeed a wonderful feeling.

Our parents taught us sexual purity.  Sometimes we didn’t like their restrictions, but they were trying to protect us, and we respected them for that. Very rarely did we go anywhere alone, except in the car ride to church or to a youth group activity.  The church was a big part of our lives, and we had both given our lives to Jesus Christ.  Because our parents taught us sexual purity, we determined that we would never engage in sexual activity while dating.  And we kept our promise.

Today, so many young people in our sexually-permissive culture have such a skewed view of dating, because it's hormone-driven instead of purpose-driven.  

Our culture has kids spending their time watching graphic television, playing violent video games, and listening to destructive hip hop music on their iPods by idols such as Lil Wayne and his super-filthy lyrics. Too often they don't know stability and the value of doing something productive and fill their idle time with the above. 

Who was it said, “Idleness is the devil’s workshop?”  I remember as a teenager thinking I sure wouldn’t mind having some of that idleness, and I didn’t believe it was the devil’s workshop, either.  I couldn’t imagine what that meant.  What was evil about being idle?  Mom often found me sitting cross-legged on the floor reading a book by the library shelf I had been dusting.  She’d say, “First work, then play!”  And I remember thinking to myself, “Yeah, and all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!” (Or in my case, “makes Jill a dull girl.”)  J  We were taught obedience and responsibility.

Blessed is the young person whose parents:

• Have a good marriage
• Lay ground rules for healthy dating and enforce them
• Love them enough to talk candidly about sex and abstinence
• Teach him to do good deeds for neighbors
• Teach him to put God’s Word first in his life
• Involve him in wholesome youth activities at church
• Teach him responsibility in helping around the house and yard
• Encourage involvement in music, sports, art, etc.
• Have a regular family night to play games or watch a movie
• Take a daytrip to the mountains to hike or picnic
• Involve them with extended family on a regular basis
• Ask God for wisdom to help them raise their children

Yes, the dating culture certainly is different now than it was back then when I was young.  And many more pitfalls are strewn in the footpaths of the young.  But the principles for godly dating remain the same because God doesn’t change.  We can still raise godly children to have healthy dating practices and eventually sound marriages.

I invite you to leave your comments or questions below in the comment section.

God bless you, dear reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy