Goodwill is more than a thrift store. And it’s not cheap, either.
Kindness and goodwill mean choosing to think of others as valuable and
in need of love. Since I’m talking about
godly older women teaching younger women as commanded in Titus 2:5, I’ll direct
my comments about kindness and goodwill to the females of mankind. J
Women can be vicious toward other women. Sometimes they can be gossips, unfriendly,
snobbish, petty, condescending, critical, and argumentative with their
husbands. They can yell at their
children and convey the damaging attitude that their little ones are a
bother. They can neglect their children,
and even physically abuse them.
Women often judge others by social/economic status and
either envy them, or look down their noses at them because of the house they
live in, the car they drive and the clothes they wear. They judge others’ body size, appearance and
hair style.
When I think of kindness and good will, I think of the love
chapter in I Corinthians 13. Verse 4
says love is patient and kind. I think
kindness begins with the thoughts we think about someone, and finally displays
itself with acts of love toward them.
One could substitute the word “kindness” for the word “love” in this
passage, and get the correct picture. One
can also substitute “God” for the word “love,” because God IS love!
A woman who is kind is patient—not envious, boastful or
proud. She’s not rude, self-seeking or
easily angered. She keeps no record of
wrongs and doesn’t delight in evil but loves the truth. A kind woman always protects, trusts, hopes
and perseveres.
No wonder God says in Proverbs 11:16 that a kind-hearted
woman gains respect! Apply the love
chapter to the relationships in your life, and you will know how to treat your
husband, children, and friends with kindness.
There’s another aspect of kindness and goodwill we overlook
far too much. Can you guess what it is? It’s being kind to ourselves! Have you ever berated yourself over mistakes
you made and wallowed in self-incrimination?
I had an experience just this evening that illustrates my
point:
Our son Doug lives downstairs and takes his meals with us
four nights a week. Today he sent me an
e-mail saying he has a haircut at seven o’clock, and so he’d need to leave
around 6:40. Somehow—don’t ask me how—I interpreted
the e-mail to mean he has a haircut at 6 and would be home around 6:40! I waited and waited to get dinner on the
table until nearer the time I thought we’d be eating. (We usually eat between 5:30 and 6:00.) Since he always turns his outside garage
lights on when he leaves his house, I kept wondering why his lights weren’t on,
and I told Dave maybe Doug has been home for awhile and just forgot to turn his
lights on when he left. So Dave called
downstairs at 6:30 to see if he was home, and he answered the phone! Doug said he’s leaving for his haircut in a
few minutes, and he’d just get some Chinese food when he comes home.
I couldn’t believe that I had misread the e-mail, and
hurried to double-check it. There it was, in black and white! I was so totally crestfallen over my
goof. All this food was ready, and now
Doug had to go to his hair appointment hungry.
Tears pushed their way to the surface as I felt like a total
failure. I lamented over it and
chastised myself for my failure.
I called Doug and apologized for not reading his e-mail
correctly. I told him I felt just
terrible over it. He replied, “Now,
that’s a belief you have. You don’t have
to feel that way. It’s okay, and I am
not a victim. I love you, Mom.”
The tears squeezed even harder against my eyeballs as I hung
up the phone.
Dave was ready to bless our food, but I didn’t feel like
praying. He said,”You have to let it go,
Elaine,” and gently put his hand on my arm.
Part of me wanted to be angry and reject his wisdom. He said, “Out of the thousands of meals
you’ve prepared, you make one little mistake, and berate yourself over it. Let it go.
It’s okay to not be perfect.”
I wanted to retort, “I’m far from perfect, and I’ve messed
up lots of things in my life. And I don’t like myself right
now!” But the Holy Spirit in me helped
me to let it go. He helped me be kind to
me.
Are you kind to you? Do you give yourself goodwill? Sometimes the one we’re most unkind to is
ourselves. I’ve come a long way over the
years, but I used to say unkind things to my mirror. I’d compare myself to other women who were
slim, pretty, or talented. I’d wonder if
others were saying unkind things about me. Those were the years Joyce Meyer’s books and
TV ministry filled my life, and God used her so much to help me overcome a bad
self-image. Her books “Beauty for Ashes”
and “Me and My Big Mouth” helped me tremendously, and I highly recommend them
to you.
I hope you’re not someone who says, “I don’t need to read books;
all I need is the Bible; it’s just Jesus and me.” That kind of attitude smacks
of pride; God made us to need each other, and the insights and gifts He’s
placed in us. No one is an island!
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) says, “Get rid of all bitterness,
rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” You are someone, aren’t
you? When you are kind to yourself you
can then genuinely be kind to others.
God bless you, dear reader!
Copyright © 2013
Elaine Beachy
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