Goodwill Is More Than A Thrift Store

Goodwill is more than a thrift store.  And it’s not cheap, either.  Kindness and goodwill mean choosing to think of others as valuable and in need of love.  Since I’m talking about godly older women teaching younger women as commanded in Titus 2:5, I’ll direct my comments about kindness and goodwill to the females of mankind. J

Women can be vicious toward other women.  Sometimes they can be gossips, unfriendly, snobbish, petty, condescending, critical, and argumentative with their husbands.  They can yell at their children and convey the damaging attitude that their little ones are a bother.  They can neglect their children, and even physically abuse them. 

Women often judge others by social/economic status and either envy them, or look down their noses at them because of the house they live in, the car they drive and the clothes they wear.  They judge others’ body size, appearance and hair style.

When I think of kindness and good will, I think of the love chapter in I Corinthians 13.  Verse 4 says love is patient and kind.  I think kindness begins with the thoughts we think about someone, and finally displays itself with acts of love toward them.  One could substitute the word “kindness” for the word “love” in this passage, and get the correct picture.  One can also substitute “God” for the word “love,” because God IS love! 

A woman who is kind is patient—not envious, boastful or proud.  She’s not rude, self-seeking or easily angered.  She keeps no record of wrongs and doesn’t delight in evil but loves the truth.  A kind woman always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. 

No wonder God says in Proverbs 11:16 that a kind-hearted woman gains respect!  Apply the love chapter to the relationships in your life, and you will know how to treat your husband, children, and friends with kindness. 

There’s another aspect of kindness and goodwill we overlook far too much.  Can you guess what it is?  It’s being kind to ourselves!  Have you ever berated yourself over mistakes you made and wallowed in self-incrimination?

I had an experience just this evening that illustrates my point:

Our son Doug lives downstairs and takes his meals with us four nights a week.  Today he sent me an e-mail saying he has a haircut at seven o’clock, and so he’d need to leave around 6:40.  Somehow—don’t ask me how—I interpreted the e-mail to mean he has a haircut at 6 and would be home around 6:40!  I waited and waited to get dinner on the table until nearer the time I thought we’d be eating.  (We usually eat between 5:30 and 6:00.)  Since he always turns his outside garage lights on when he leaves his house, I kept wondering why his lights weren’t on, and I told Dave maybe Doug has been home for awhile and just forgot to turn his lights on when he left.  So Dave called downstairs at 6:30 to see if he was home, and he answered the phone!  Doug said he’s leaving for his haircut in a few minutes, and he’d just get some Chinese food when he comes home.

I couldn’t believe that I had misread the e-mail, and hurried to double-check it. There it was, in black and white!  I was so totally crestfallen over my goof.  All this food was ready, and now Doug had to go to his hair appointment hungry.  Tears pushed their way to the surface as I felt like a total failure.  I lamented over it and chastised myself for my failure.

I called Doug and apologized for not reading his e-mail correctly.  I told him I felt just terrible over it.  He replied, “Now, that’s a belief you have.  You don’t have to feel that way.  It’s okay, and I am not a victim.  I love you, Mom.”

The tears squeezed even harder against my eyeballs as I hung up the phone.

Dave was ready to bless our food, but I didn’t feel like praying.  He said,”You have to let it go, Elaine,” and gently put his hand on my arm.  Part of me wanted to be angry and reject his wisdom.  He said, “Out of the thousands of meals you’ve prepared, you make one little mistake, and berate yourself over it.  Let it go.  It’s okay to not be perfect.” 

I wanted to retort, “I’m far from perfect, and I’ve messed up lots of things in my life.  And I don’t like myself right now!”  But the Holy Spirit in me helped me to let it go.  He helped me be kind to me. 

Are you kind to you?  Do you give yourself goodwill?  Sometimes the one we’re most unkind to is ourselves.  I’ve come a long way over the years, but I used to say unkind things to my mirror.  I’d compare myself to other women who were slim, pretty, or talented.  I’d wonder if others were saying unkind things about me.  Those were the years Joyce Meyer’s books and TV ministry filled my life, and God used her so much to help me overcome a bad self-image.  Her books “Beauty for Ashes” and “Me and My Big Mouth” helped me tremendously, and I highly recommend them to you. 

I hope you’re not someone who says, “I don’t need to read books; all I need is the Bible; it’s just Jesus and me.” That kind of attitude smacks of pride; God made us to need each other, and the insights and gifts He’s placed in us.  No one is an island!

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  You are someone, aren’t you?  When you are kind to yourself you can then genuinely be kind to others. 

God bless you, dear reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy