Is "Homemaker" A Dirty Word?

“A pregnant woman with her hair in curlers, wearing a frumpy housecoat and bedroom slippers.”  This was the humorous input of my oldest son, Doug, when I told him I was opening this post with the question of what image comes to mind when the word “homemaker” is said. 

Okay—not the most flattering definition.  Ahem.   

Perhaps you think of June Cleaver, Beaver’s mother with coiffed hair, bracelets on her arms, a string of pearls at her neck, sporting heels and an apron in the kitchen.  Is the mother of “Leave it to Beaver” your picture of a “homemaker?” 

Or is it June Lockhart as Timmy’s apron-wearing mother in the TV show, “Lassie,” your perfect image of a homemaker?”

   

Maybe you envision Aunt Bee on the Andy Griffith show bustling about, keeping things running smoothly for the Sheriff of Mayberry.  Aunt Bee, Andy Taylor’s paternal aunt, created a cozy home filled with warmth, laughter, love, and lots of good food for him and his son, Opie. 

Aunt Bee was played by actress Frances Bavier, but her personal life certainly didn’t reflect the part she played on the show.  I read online that Aunt Bee’s latter years were spent in seclusion in a spacious two-story Siler City home, and rarely left her house.  Her homemaking skills portrayed on the show were sadly absent from her own home.   

When she died, her dark and dingy home reeked with the stench of her fourteen cats that used a shower stall and a basement room as a litter box.  The plaster was peeling off the walls, there were no curtains on the windows, the walls were bare except for a few clocks, and the carpets and upholstery were worn and frayed. She had a $700,000 estate and personal belongings valued at $31,683.  Aunt Bee was known on the show for her good cooking, but there was only one cookbook in her house.

What do you think the world would say about a Christian wife whose home was as dismal, dirty and chaotic as Frances Bavier’s?  The Word of God would certainly be maligned.  That’s why it does matter how we live; it reflects on God if we carry His name. 

So—what does “being busy at home” look like, as instructed by God in Titus 2:3-5?

The word “keepers” in Strong’s Concordance at #3626 says it means “a guard, be ‘ware,’ a stayer at home, ie, domestically inclined, a good housekeeper.  The words “stayer at home” and “domestically inclined” caught my attention. 

Traditionally in the church, wives didn’t work outside the home except in extreme hardship cases.  They stayed home, raised a family and “kept house.”  But when the Women’s Lib movement came along, attitudes of “liberation” also found their way into the church.  I’m not sure how much of that is good, to tell you the truth.  In that respect, I’m glad for those old TV shows “Leave It to Beaver” and “Lassie.”  Call me a traditionalist fuddy-duddy if you want, but I have seen too much heartache and turmoil in marriages and homes because of this “liberation,” and a disrespectful, superior attitude toward men.   

Do you ever feel embarrassed by the term “stay-at-home-mom?”  You shouldn’t.  Being a mother and a homemaker is a high calling given by God.  The home environment you create and the children you raise for God are building blocks in the fabric of a stable society.  Remember: as the home, so the nation.

  

Some Christian women would rather run around shopping all day instead of cleaning a dirty house.  Dishes pile up in the sink, but she doesn’t feel like doing them.  Laundry that needs doing overflows the baskets, but she accepts invitations to attend jewelry parties, home decorating parties and lunch with friends instead.  She neglects paying the bills on time, and even loses her mail because of the mounds of clutter.  Meals are haphazard and unappetizing.  After all, she’s liberated; who has time for the mundane?

Some women simply want to work outside the home and be a gad-about because they can’t stand the mess at home.  Such a one needs training by a godly woman on how to manage her home.  And seriously, some women don’t even know how to clean a house because they have never been taught by their mothers.

Does it mean she can’t have a job outside the home?  I say a Christian wife shouldn’t have a job outside the home if she can’t manage her own household first.  Sometimes because of financial necessity, especially in the case of a single mom, she will have to work.  But she still needs to manage her home well.  Tough challenge.  My heart goes out to those women for whom this is true. 

If a woman wants to work outside the home, I believe the Spirit of God is saying that a woman must not neglect her children or her home, so that no one will have anything bad to say about the Gospel of Jesus Christ on account of how she lives.  It does matter how one lives.  I believe a mother should see her kids off to school and be home when the kids get home from school.  

To the best of her ability, the wife should make her home a haven, a place of peace, cleanliness, order and beauty.  The way a house looks affects the emotions and attitudes of every member of the family.  A home that is neglected reflects her attitude that she doesn’t really care about the family members either.    

The woman of Proverbs 31:10-31 is our godly example.  She was a business woman with good business sense, was diligent with her work and in her home, and had time for charitable work as well.  She watched over the affairs of her household and didn’t engage in gossip and idleness.  She had a good name around town, and everyone respected her husband because she was an excellent homemaker.

Adam and Eve were to “keep” the garden, their home.  Hmm.  Eve blew it.  Now there’s something to ponder.  Wives have been given a high calling; why do we esteem it so lightly?  Don’t ever again say, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”

God bless you, dear reader!

Copyright © 2013 Elaine Beachy