Tuesday, October 16, 2012

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is unwanted, ongoing aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance.

Bullying is all about controlling, belittling, destroying a person's self-worth, and shredding someone else's reputation.  A person who bullies wants to bring someone down in order to lift themselves up.  Think about it. What's the root?  Pride.  The exaltation of self over others.  God's Word speaks to this: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."  Philippians 2:3 (NIV)  Isn't that what caused Satan's expulsion from heaven?  You bet it is.  He said "I will exalt myself above the Most High; I will ascend to His throne."  He wanted to be in control; but God threw him out of Heaven.  He has come down to us in fury; now he tries to control us and rule over us.  He is building up his own kingdom, an "in Your face" tactic against God.  He is walking to and fro throughout the earth, sowing his diabolical seeds of pride wherever he finds fertile ground for it.

Fertile ground for the seeds of bullying and control is that dark place in a person's heart that hides sin and the struggles with shame.  Taking offense and refusing to forgive is extremely fertile ground for Satan.  Bullying is the devil's work.  Don't let Satan rule over you.  Expose your sin, failures, and shame to the light of Jesus' gospel of truth and let Him change you.  Forgive quickly.

What are some signs your child may be a victim of bullying?  Here is a website with some good info: http://extension.unh.edu/Family/Parent/teenpubs/bully.pdf  I'll list some signs of victimization here:

  • Fakes an illness or runs away from school
  • Tearful at the thought of going to school; has stomach aches
  • Grades drop
  • Loses self-confidence
  • Gets angry when asked about what's going on in his life
  • Has unexplained injuries, bruise marks, torn clothing
  • Has nightmares
  • Begins wetting the bed
  • Shows sadness/depression, or talks of suicide
  • Has angry outbursts
  • Withdraws
  • Loses possessions: toys, jacket, sneakers stolen
  • Needs extra money because s/he was robbed
  • Extra-hungry after school because his lunch or lunch money was stolen

Bullies look for kids who are smaller, get upset or cry easily, who are unpopular at school, have social issues and struggle with shyness and anyone who is different in looks or weight.  I read that some parents are even letting their children undergo plastic surgery to change the shapes of their noses, ears, etc. to avoid being harassed.  This is ridiculous, and bullying must stop!

Bullying takes different forms:

  • Verbal:  teasing, name-calling, taunting, inappropriate sexual comments, and threatening to cause harm.
  • Social:  hurting someone's reputation or relationships, telling other kids to join in the harassment, spreading rumors and lies, and embarrassing someone in public.
  • Physical:  hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, tripping, pushing, taking or breaking someone's things, and making mean or rude hand gestures.

 Bullies view violence as an okay way to interact with other children.  I wonder what they're learning at home.  How do these family members relate to one another?  Can you see where I'm going with this?

According to the NEA (National Education Association), 160,000 students miss school every day for fear of attack and intimidation by other students.  71% of students report that incidents of bullying are a problem at school.  Those in lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in higher grades.  However, there is a higher rate of serious violent crimes in middle school and high school.  Statistics are high that kids who are bullied by peers carry out lethal violence, and will have a prison record by their mid-twenties.  The motive is always revenge.

Revenge.  Now there's something to think about.  We must turn to the Word of God for answers.  Here are some pertinent verses from Romans chapter 12: verse 14, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse."  Verse 17, "Do not repay anyone evil for evil," and verse 21, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."  Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

I think every school should have this Scripture verse from Luke 6:31 displayed in every hallway:  "Do to others as you would have them do to you."  Could I dare hope this dream will become a reality?

Ever since the Federal Government banned God from our schools, we've had this dramatic increase of violence, bullying and a drug problem in our land.  And honestly, shouldn't Luke 6:31 be on a wall in a prominent place in our own homes?  Let's start there.

I have a great idea!  There's a company called "Simply Said" that will make any wall saying you want, and you transfer the self-stick lettering to your wall.  Go to the website www.mysimplysaiddesigns.com/melanie and contact Melanie.  Or contact her by phone at 540-305-4252.  You can choose your own lettering style and color for your wall.  Tell her you want the words of Luke 6:31 made into a saying for your wall, and it can be shipped right to your home anywhere in the United States.  (You may also want to order one for your office work space.)

I have a passion to reach kids and their parents at the home level, because the home is the nucleus of our society.  As the home, so the nation!  And really, if parents would have the Word of God at the center of their home, and teach their children to live for God, we wouldn't have the bullying problems we do.

Teachers are not responsible to raise your children -- you are!  Dads and Moms: Man Up!  Take charge of your child's moral compass.  Don't hand it to the school teacher!

Copyright © 2012 Elaine Beachy

No comments:

Post a Comment