Sometimes we practice hospitality in a way learned from our family culture, and that's not all bad. But I would caution against having an overemphasis or too much reverence for the past so that we become custom-bound. I come from a Mennonite/Amish culture, and the way hospitality is done there has a lot of merit.
Folks are warmly invited and made to feel welcome. I especially think of the warm hospitality of my Mennonite Aunt Esther, who is no longer with us, and now the hospitality of her Mennonite daughter, my first cousin, Pauline. She has a warm, bubbly personality, is a good conversationalist, and an excellent cook to-boot! I enjoy being in their home. She smiles a lot and accepts me just as I am, even though her way of dress and some beliefs may be somewhat different than mine. We both love the same Jesus, and His love fills our hearts. We don't try to change one another. She and I practice generosity of spirit toward one another, and it's a beautiful thing. She is a lovely woman who truly has an open heart and open home.
There are some Mennonite cultural pitfalls to avoid. I don't want to feel like I have to have a lavish display of food, rich desserts, and copy my ancestoral heritage. I remember tables laden with meat, potatoes, gravy, hot vegetables, Jello salads, applesauce, pudding, homemade bread and sour cream butter ("Grandpa butter" I called it), jellies and pickles. And that was before dessert, which was usually an offering of different kinds of pies! :) Now don't get me wrong: it was all very delicious -- perhaps too good, in fact.
As your Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners approach, I would pray first of all for a "generosity of spirit" to prevail. To not use the time together as an opportunity to bring up disagreements, or be negative. Pray that your family members would be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgive one another, and have a gracious, thankful, positive attitude. I have heard of family dinners being ruined because these graces were not practiced.
- If you're hosting a dinner, do as much ahead of time as possible.
- Plan a decorating and cleaning schedule. I once read that if you fail to plan, you're planning to fail. Ask a friend for help if you need it.
- Think simplicity when planning your menu.
- Try to plan for foods that look good, taste great, and do not require much last-minute preparation.
- Ask each guest to bring a designated dish on your menu.
- Get in the everyday habit of keeping your flat surfaces de-cluttered, and you won't become overwhelmed at the last minute. (Mail, bric-a-brac, receipts, books, items to return to a store, etc.)
- If you see an area that needs cleaned, do it then -- don't put if off.
- Keep a roll of paper towels, window cleaner, and a disinfectant surface cleaner in a cabinet in each bathroom and your kitchen.
- You'd be surprised how little time it actually takes to wipe down a mirror, clean a sink and the commode, shake out a rug, or dust that dresser.
- Pace your cleaning throughout the week, cleaning only the bathrooms on the day of your get-together. Procrastinating till the last minute creates panic and stress. (Kind of like trying to lose 20 pounds before your high school reunion.) :)
- Set the table the day before.
- Bake and freeze cookies, pastries, or breads a few weeks in advance so you can pull them out if you need them at the last minute.
- Instead of serving heavy, sweet desserts, provide bowls of chilled, fresh fruit, nuts or caramel popcorn.
- Simplify your decorating. Less is more when tastefully done.
- Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Burton Mains, David C. Cook Publishing Co, 1976
- Keeping Entertaining Simple by Martha Storey, Hallmark Books, 1998
- Smart Women Keep It Simple by Annie Chapman with Maureen Rank, Bethany House Publishers, 1992
- Living Organized by Sandra Felton, published by Fleming H. Revell, 2005
- Too Much Stuff by Kathryn Porter, Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, 2006
- Messie No More by Sandra Felton, published by Fleming H. Revell, 1994
Copyright © 2011 Elaine Beachy
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