Marlene walked to the dining room and looked at the tablecloth, coordinating napkins and pretty dinnerware she purchased last week. "I hope the centerpiece will look okay on the table," she said aloud to herself. "It isn't that I don't like to help people, but it seems everything came at once this week. My aunt's doctor appointment, my dentist appointment, the security alarm that just kept beeping, friends who needed prayer or a listening ear. And Alma called me to help at the church. . ." The air didn't answer her.
Maybe you're like Marlene: a perfectionist who can't say "no", a good cook with a reputation to uphold, a fastidious housekeeper with an aching back, a headache . . . and a shrinking wallet.
When you invite someone to your home for a meal, do you worry about everything being perfect? You know -- the color scheme, centerpiece, place settings, putting the eating utensils in the right order next to the dinner plate? Yikes! You see spots on the clean glassware, so you set about washing and drying them by hand to make sure they sparkle.
Or you start out inviting the Miller's from church for an outdoor evening hot dog and marshmallow roast. Suddenly you realize they are friends with the Ashcofts, so you invite them, too. Before it's all said and done, you end up with ten people and then decide hot dogs and marshmallows aren't good enough. You cram your day full of work by making potato salad, deviled eggs, broccoli salad, baked beans, brownies, and an angel food cake (for those who may be fat conscious). When the guests arrive, you're hot, tired, and stressed. All you want to do is sit in a chair on the deck with a glass of iced tea and put your feet up. And you certainly have no time or energy for your husband. Sound familiar?
When you think of the word "hospitality", what picture comes to mind? What feelings come up inside you? Did you know the Bible talks about hospitality? Yes it does. It says we are to offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Even overseers and leaders in the church are told to be hospitable.
With the holiday seasons of Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, maybe we can consider how to do that without being worn out or broke. More tomorrow . . .
Copyright © 2011 Elaine Beachy
I definitely agree about being a perfectionist. I get horrified when I invite friends over and I have to give them pizza from Dominos.. or something like that. What is the point of that? That is a struggle for me. When I invite them, I end up spending the whole day cooking and cleaning
ReplyDeleteso that by the time they come I am wiped out. Not only that, I like to see that my kids are nicely dressed and husband is also nicely dressed. Maybe the potluck way is better.
I enjoyed reading your post!!!!
Maria U. (upper room :))
I'm glad you enjoyed my post, and thanks for writing, Maria. I think a lot of women can identify with your feelings. I used to be there. I wrote the above post from personal experience, but I'm learning to change. Reading books such as "Keeping Entertaining Simple" by Martha Storey, Hallmark Books, 1998, and "Open Heart, Open Home" by Karen Burton Maines, 1976, David C. Cook Publishing Co., have helped me. I don't know if the Maines book is still available somewhere online, but the ISBN number is 0-912692-94-4.
ReplyDeleteAllowing ourselves to feel love and acceptance just for who we are goes a long way toward relaxing and being ourselves. We women are our own worst critic, don't you think? Allowing ourselves to be imperfect and learning to laugh at ourselves is a good thing.