Recognizing Covetousness

In Annie Chapman and Maureen Ranks' book Smart Women Keep it Simple, Annie tells of one time her pastor's wife handed her a list of three couples to invite as their part in a supper club at their church.  She eagerly scanned the list to see who they would be spending an evening with once a month for four months.  Annie was dismayed to see the names of a very wealthy couple who lived in a luxurious 6,500 sq. ft. home, complete with a tennis court, swimming pool, and a Mercedes in the driveway.

She writes, "Suddenly my cozy little place with the country kitchen and touches of West Virginia memorabilia no longer looked warm and charming.  Instead, it bordered on tacky. . . My palms got sweaty and I felt sick to my stomach.  Was it too late for a complete renovation?  I wondered what a professional interior decorator would cost."  Her insecurity didn't stop with the house.  The menu and her dishes terrified her too when she envisioned the rich folks' standard of living. 

One day as she was stewing over menus and table settings, she heard a quiet voice say, "Annie, thou shalt not covet. . ."  She tried to brush it aside, but it kept coming back, so she looked up the ten commandments in Exodus 20.  There it was: verse 17.  "You shall not covet your neighbor's house.  You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

She writes, "Could it be these feelings I'd excused as an 'inferiorty complex' and 'low self-esteem' were actually covetousness?"  As she searched her soul, her anxious thoughts came back to her memory.  "Will they think I am a terrible decorator?  Will I feel inadequate when they see what I have prepared?  I'm afraid I'll be looked down upon, and I . . .  Obviously the key word here was 'I'".

When her focus shifted from wanting to be known as "the great entertainer" to how she could show genuine hospitality to her brothers and sisters, the pressure was off and she relaxed.  She had a simple menu, and even served cookies and ice cream for dessert.  She says, "...the wealthy couple I had so feared were two of the most down-to-earth people we'd met in a long time."  Later, after they got to know each other better, Annie confessed to the wealthy woman how intimidated she had felt, and they both had a good laugh.  When the wealthy woman's turn came to host the supper club, she served food from paper plates!

Another wealthy friend of Annie's told her of the rejection she experienced at a Bible study.  She had just come from a luncheon, wearing a mink coat, and hadn't thought about the statement her coat may make to others.  As she came out of the restroom later that evening, one lady met her at the door, glared at her and said coldly, "I hate rich people." 

That same friend of Annie's became friends with a woman as they worked in the church nursery together, and was given an invitation for her whole family to come for dinner.  But the next week, the woman said to the wealthy lady, "I found out this week how much money you have, and I can't possibly have you in my home because it isn't nearly as nice as yours."  Annie's friend experienced crushing pain and rejection simply because of financial status.

We must live with an eye to the eternal.  Diapering a baby looks temporary, but as you lock your eyes in steady gaze at your infant, intimacy and bonding occurs.  That's an eternal value.  Quoting Annie once again, "...seeing the eternal means choosing to play ball while the supper dishes wait, or putting down that book you've been reading and turning over to talk to your husband."

Good connections with your spouse, children and friends are the most important investment you'll ever make.  When you come to the end of your life, you will not regret never having a luxurious home, that big job offer or promotion, or making that important sale.  You will regret not having spent more time with your husband, child, friend, or a  parent.

Copyright © 2011 Elaine Beachy